#i would want her to be one of the select characters chosen to come along on one of the adventures that a main story arc focuses on

[xbomboi]

I think Duchess Swan deserves more to her story. It seems she's an underrated character.

i do too. i actually had an idea for a webisode about her that would involve her younger brother (yes i’ve decided she has a brother). a few months ago i actually made this design for her brother:

so the webisode would play out a lil something like this: duchess’s little brother is finally enrolled at eah as a freshman and thrilled to be with his big sister, but she gives him the cold shoulder and is only embarrassed by him.

then everyone ends up loving him and giving him a bunch of attention which irritates duchess, and then to tip off the iceberg he reveals he can also turn into a swan, and when he does, his swan form is WHITE. and everyone is like ‘whoaaaa’ ‘so cool’ ‘omg amazing’ meanwhile duchess can’t take it anymore and just storms off. but her ever-caring brother follows her off.

her brother looks for duchess and finds her alone in swan-form floating in the pond she usually dances on, so he transforms into his swan form and he confronts showing concern, but she lashes out and expresses not wanting him there. and he’s confused so then (turning back into human form) she explains that she already feels like a second choice daily and now he shows up and is ‘a better her than she is’ which makes her feel worthless.

but her brother (after also transforming back) reassures her by saying that he just wanted to be just like her because he admires her so much and thinks she’s just the coolest, and even if nobody else sees that, she’s still his hero. this cheers duchess up, and she offers for the two of them to do some dancing together, and he gleefully obliges.

and that’s how that lil webisode would end.

as for the commonly raised question, “how would duchess have been born if her mom had to die?” and how she’d have a younger brother at that…

i firmly believe duchess was hatched from an egg. she and her brother are incubator babies.

[lovehotelreservation]

Nectar

Summary: As your royal bodyguard, Laios was to ensure that not a hand was to fall onto you, the princess.

But what was he to do when exposure to some potent pollen has him desperate to have his hands all over you?

Rating: NC-17

Pairing: F!Reader/Laios

WHO'S READY TO GET EATEN (OUT) 🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️

This piece has been a long time coming ever since I hosted a special poll on my Tumblr where I had my readers vote on my next lewd piece--from character to kink to trope/AU, all were determined by my dear hotel guests !!! Thank you all so much for your patience and for joining the fun !!! 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️ I've been meaning to dive into DunMeshi (and Laios's pantalones) so this was the perfect opportunity to finally do just that !!!

I appreciate you all as always and I hope you enjoy !!!

-------------

There was a fruit that Laios wanted to eat.

Not to be found atop a bushel on the streets of a bustling market, nor to be served as an appetizer at an upscale restaurant.

This particular fruit was one of a kind–locked away in a garden, access reserved exclusively to only a select and chosen few, hidden within the brush of a storied grove.

Given his notorious taste for the most bizarre ingredients literally cut fresh from a dungeon’s depths for the simplest of meals, such a specific and normal craving was rather astonishing.

But Laios didn’t want to simply partake in this specific fruit.

Rather, there was this cavernous base urge to hunt down this fruit, scaling whatever length of tree as needed to seize–to lunge if needed–the delectable treat with his very own hands, dragging his tongue along its surface for an indulgent lick before sinking his teeth in for a juicy mouthful.

He didn’t even care to wash or wipe the fruit down before feasting away. Any speck of grime and dirt would only add to the flavor–if anything, imperfections on the purity of this snack served to stir his appetite all the more, a deep-seeded hunger that had gnawed at him damn near endlessly at this point.

However, attaining this singular delicacy was not going to be easy in the slightest.

While his monthly pay of coin for his services as an appointed guard to the care of the kingdom’s princess was nothing to scoff at, he wouldn’t be able to even attempt offering to buy this rare fruit.

For it was less about accumulating enough wealth and more about how he was forever shackled to the circumstances of his poor, humble upbringing.

Fated to be barred from this fruit’s taste, he was instead made to linger around the perimeter of the garden that housed this delectable treasure, to always be within reach but bound to have his hand chopped right off if he ever thought of plucking this sweet for his own famished desires.

It was a conundrum surely, one that he–reluctantly–had made his peace with for some time.

Up until a sudden shriek from afar suddenly shook Laios free from the serenity of his continued contemplating.

On a day like any other, he was to escort the princess to the outskirts of the kingdom to oversee the crops of the imminent harvest. His upbringing as the son to proud farmhands made this visit feel akin to a homecoming. He was always happy for the chance to see his parents along with–if lucky–his sister Falin should she be home from her continued studies of the arcane arts. Though, he was most thrilled at the prospect of offering facts of the natural bestiary and the gaminess of their meat to the intrigued ear of the princess.

Your ear.

And while you, the queen to be, were usually so happy to take in well of knowledge that Laios had to offer, he couldn’t help but notice on this particular day that there was this anxious energy that seemed to shadow over you like that of a bride veil, one that simmered beneath your usual graceful demeanor.

Having been under his guard and protection as his charge for years at this point, you trusted him deeply. He knew this to be undoubtedly true.

Yet there was something about your behavior throughout the day that demanded solitude–any opportunity to be alone, you were quick to take. And while unlike the stuffy and pushy advisors that often fussed over every breath you took within the castle, he respected your independence as an individual, seeing you for who you were rather than the shine of the crown on top of your head.

Still, as your bodyguard, he couldn’t allow you to stray too far away from him.

And yet for every step he took to close the gap, you only seemed intent on maintaining distance.

It was puzzling certainly, and while he wanted nothing more than to gain further insight as to what brought about this odd change in your attitude, he was far more worried with your current wellbeing.

His feet carried him as far as he could, past the vast fields of crops all the way further out past the farmlands. He cursed at himself for letting you out of his sight, all while wondering how you managed to give him the slip in the first place.

However, he would address that matter later. For now, he was set on finding you.

While his familiarity with the immediate area served as a reassuring foundation for his search, there was now the facet of determining just where you would have wandered off towards. While he took into account where you–adorned in frills and jewels–realistically could have made it out to within the time span since he last saw you, he thought back to any places of interest where you most likely would have gone.

His amber eyes quickly scanned across the horizon–either a pond that wasn’t too far out into the distance, a road that one could follow to a neighboring farm, or a somewhat maintained path that led to a field of white flowers.

The faint, distant sight of ivory petals immediately caught his attention and reignited his memory.

“–and besides supplying various cheeses for the wintertime fondue, this region’s other key offering is none other than the lovelily!”

Laios was all broad smiles and pride as he concluded his explanation.

You were all twinkling eyes and curious as you repeated his last word.

“‘Lovelily’?”

Happy for the chance to elaborate further, he proceeded to mime out the shape of the flower (horribly) with his hands. “Yes! The very same flower once used in ancient rituals for fertility–now it’s more commonly used for love potions! Potent ones at that! You know, as I think about it, I think the stems tend to not grow that tall…”

As his focus shifted more to the accuracy of the height of the flower that his hands were representing, he didn’t notice the way that the curiosity in your eyes soon changed to something far more calculating.

But of course!

His destination determined, Laios jetted himself forward towards the field of lovelilies–a sea of white blossoms that stretched far and beyond. Gaze darting around for any sight of you, he continued to shout out your name as he rushed through the vast spread of flowers.

Lovelilies were used for love potions for a reason. Their signature pink pollen is potent with aphrodisiac effects, making them the ideal candidates for their prior use with fertility rituals in times long since past.

By this point in the season, the flowers were harvested of their pollen by local apothecaries, so he at least had one less thing to worry about.

Still, just an immediate scan around the field yielded no sight of you, which only deepened his already heightened anxiousness.

Up until, at long last, he heard the muffled response of his name as he approached the center of the field.

Immediately he gazed down, and like an apple that had fallen from the tree, his eyes came across a rather deep ditch in the ground.

Deep enough to house you right within its depths.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Laios immediately dove in for your rescue. As he landed on his feet, he looked forward. Given the time of day, he still had a decent amount of light shining down within the darkness of the ditch, blessing him with the sight of you sprawled upon a bed of lovelilies. Joyed relief quickly across his features as he called out your name once again while he knelt before you.

“Are you alright–?!”

“Sir Laios!” You gasped in relief, even as your voice quivered so. “Please forgive me for leaving your sight and causing worry! I–!”

Laughing jovially, he held up his hand and waved it from side to side. “Worry not, princess. A little curiosity never hurt–”

It was at the second push in the air by his hand that he caught sight of a familiar shade of pink that floated by his face.

He immediately froze, soon realizing just where you had landed in: a ditch of unharvested, fully pollinated lovelilies. 

Tension gripped him as fiercely as he held onto you upon scooping your body into his arms.

“Princess! Hang onto me and hold your breath!”

You did as told, scrambling to wrap your arms around his neck while he worked to haul the both of you out of the ditch, all while doing his best to avoid inhaling the pollinated air as well. While it took a bit of maneuvering, a few slips while clawing at loosened soil, he was able to securely bring the two of you back onto solid ground.

However, with one issue handled, he was immediately checking over you in a flurried panic, his hands cradling your face while his mind raced back to what usually consisted of typical symptoms of lovelily exposure.

“How do you feel? Any pain? Discomfort?”

His palm pressed against your flushed cheek, a notable warmth permeating off of your skin. Before he could examine further, you meekly spoke up in response,

“I think…I may have hurt myself when I fell…”

You shifted your leg forward, wincing as your voice trailed off, your breathing becoming shallow.

And it was that expression of pain that had him quickly springing to action once again.

Formality, order, manners–all were immediately consumed by ferocious protective instinct as Laios seized the hem of your dress skirt and yanked it high up and over his head. 

He sought out for any sliver of blood or purpling bruise, his gaze darting along your leg for possible injuries sustained.

Higher and higher, his eyes continued to trail upwards.

All the way until his focus shifted towards right between your thighs.

Hues of soft pink caught his gaze, a notably sweet scent drifting by his nose.

There, spread all across the fabric of your panties with a few dustings along your inner thighs was a thick layer of lovelily pollen.

Though he was relieved to see that overall you didn’t seem to be significantly injured by your descent into the ditch, he once again found himself stuck in place.

With your dress skirt still enveloped over him, he was entrapped within close proximity to the infamous aphrodisiac ingredient. Instinct and knowledge of the flower’s effects roared at him to move, to at the very least hold his breath, yet he could not.

He refused to.

He was much too captivated, too entranced to do so.

The sight and scent of the pollen was one matter.

However, what truly beckoned for him to push his head closer up in-between your thighs was one particular scent.

Not that of the sweet lovelily pollen. 

It was something headier, a unique musk that enticed his senses, drawing his mouth to water.

And the source of that delectable scent was currently being obscured by flimsy fabric.

He just had to get a better smell of it.

His hands reached for your legs, large and calloused hands gripping them by the sides all while he immediately planted his face right in-between your thighs, his nose pressed right against your clothed core. He inhaled deeply, groaning out in delight upon exhaling at your natural scent.

He suddenly felt hungry–no, famished was much more appropriate.

His thoughts were becoming muddled, his initial intention of remembering the exact effects of lovelily pollen exposure quickly becoming lost amidst the dire need to satisfy his own cravings. Before he could act further however, it was the sound of your voice that suddenly had him snap out of his reverie.

“S-Sir Laios…”

The shudder in your voice quickly had him shoving himself out from under your dress. Immediately, his darkened eyes sought out yours, his face hot and red, his breath ragged.

What he saw was a near identical expression from your end: cheeks burning with scarlet, breath also struggling to steady itself.

With his attention captured by you, he watched as you brought your hand to the front of your gown, seizing at the material while you gasped out, also seemingly at odds between coherent thought and bodily desire, “It would seem both of us are sweltering in our respective attire.” With your other hand, you reached down to cup his chin, smiling sweetly at him, flustered and all. 

“Shall we do something about this heat together?”

Laios grabbed at your hand, bringing your palm to his lips before pressing another kiss to your wrist as he breathlessly affirmed,

“As you wish, princess.”

It was one last expression of proper decorum between the two of you–him, your trusted bodyguard, and you, his precious charge–before you both descended into an animalistic frenzy right amidst the sea of lovelilies.

A mess of frills and jewels laid to the side while Laios was far from fully stripped of his armor, his chest piece and undershirt tossed some ways away. Though his erect cock throbbed painfully within the confines of his breeches, he had undoing the strings to his trousers last in his mind, his priority first and foremost being to run his tongue all along the sopping stickiness of your core.

He couldn’t get enough. Every slurp, every suckle, every wet smack of his lips–even nudging his nose along the wet length of your slit for a better indulging of your scent, his insatiable greed knew no limits, encouraged further by the quiver of your thighs and the whines of his name from your lips.

It was hard to pry himself away from your inner thighs, especially with each orgasm he drew you towards. Even when he finally yielded to your pleas for him to finally strip off his pants, he still was adamant with feasting away at your core, fondling your ass as he kept you close to his face, all while you were positioned right on top of him, your mouth and hands clumsily handling the thick girth of his cock with earnest kisses and strokes.

How could he possibly think about stopping when the fruit he craved to eat was finally presented to him?

Or so he thought.

The taste of your core was most certainly going to impose an insatiable addiction moving forward.

However.

It was as the two of you were tangled together, his large stocky build weighing down onto yours while his big cock pumped in and out of your core’s velvety depths that he finally had a sample of what he truly sought out most.

“Sir Laios…!”

The euphoric call of his name had his focus shifting right to your face.

Right as your hands rested on his cheeks, guiding his head downwards so–for the first time–your lips could press against his for a kiss.

A simple sweet display of affection.

Yet one that scorched through him so much more significantly than any other touch exchanged between you both.

The taste of your lips had him shudder and gasp out your name, all while he was all the more compelled to slam his cock into you with furthered exuberance, the desire to flood your core with the hot and heavy load of his seed all consuming.

It would be some time until the two of you would finally work your way through the effects of the pollen.

It would be a far, far later problem for you both to explain just where exactly the two of you had disappeared to all day and why your clothes were in such disarray.

But for now, and what would remain to be true well after–pollen’s influence aside–was one blessed reassurance: You were just as hungry for him as he was for you.

[lopsicle]

Hi, @fictitious-fluff I’m your Squealing Santa!’I’m sorry this came out in the latter end of December, the holiday season was busy for me and this was my first tickletober!!

This was really fun to write, the prompts you left helped a ton as well!! Hope you enjoy it!!

It’s Not Like I Don’t Like It

Summary: During one of Caine’s adventures, the group splits off into pairs which leads to some very interesting discoveries between Jax and Ragatha.

Characters: Ler! Jax, Ler! Ragatha, rest of the TADC cast

Warnings: Tickle Fic

In The Amazing Digital Circus™, it’s residents could only be sure of one thing. Life would never be dull, whether they liked it or not. It took Pomni some getting used to, much like the rest of the circus members and just like everyone else, she still had no idea what to expect. Whether it was being strapped to a target and having knives thrown at you, being pulled out of a hat, having your limbs played around with like they were apart of a mix and match set, the possibilities were endlessly terrifying. Caine just couldn’t understand how to please them.

He’d set them off on another adventure today, lazily dubbed ‘Sticky Situations’, chosen from a list of hundreds and hundreds of repeated activities for them to be forced into enjoy. The adventure was simple enough though, everyone would be split into pairs and forced to stay with their partner until they found a key that would allow them to separate. And because Caine’s adventures could never be simple, if someone stepped too far away from their partner, they’d be shocked.

The pairings were odd, but fun. Pomni and Kinger, Gangle and Zooble and Jax and Ragatha. Surprisingly, Ragatha was the one to be outraged first.

‘Him?!’ She cried, stomping her foot against the ground and making an over-exaggerated gesture towards Jax. The rabbit looked offended for a moment, his ears growing stiff at the top of his head before he smirked, his beady eyes getting a little wider.

‘Aw, don’t you wanna spent time with me, Dollface?’ He teased, not caring for her answer, just wanting to agitate her. Zooble shot the man a look which he just shrugged off while Pomni looked sympathetically towards Ragatha. She took a step towards the woman, wanting to comfort her but as she was finding the words, another voice overpowered the room.

‘Now that the pairs have been selected, you all have FIVE SECONDS,’ Caine screeched energetically, his eyes popping out of his head for a moment, ‘to stand next to your partner!’

Almost immediately, a pair of hands scooped the small jester up from behind, pulling her away from the red haired woman.

‘Phew, Pomni, I was worried you were gonna get electrocuted!’ Kinger fretted, totally oblivious to what she was trying to do. Pomni nodded along awkwardly, deciding to go along with it.

Begrudgingly, Ragatha made her way other to Jax who decided to stay put, not caring enough to move and knowing his partner wouldn’t risk getting shocked. She had a face like a slapped bulldog though, frowning with her arms crossed over her chest, staring away from the taller man.

‘Alrighty then, enjoy the games and have a spectacular time!’ Caine announced, waving goodbye to the circus crew before disappearing to who knows where. Most of them dissipated fairly quickly, some of them even looking forward to their new pairings. Neither of those were applicable to Jax or Ragatha.

‘Are you gonna move anytime soon?’

Ragatha asked impatiently, Caine’s explanation wasn’t the best; she didn’t know how far she could get from Jax and she didn’t feel like getting shocked.

‘Mmm,’ Jax looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think before staring back down at Ragatha, ‘nah.’

Ragatha’s eye twitched in annoyance, looking about ready to explode in anger at him already. While that would normally be amusing, Jax didn’t have the luxury of retreating as he got an earful of frustrated rants, instead opting to grab Ragatha’s arm and yank her along as he walked.

‘Come on then, let’s get this over with before you throw a tantrum,’ Jax teased her but Ragatha decided not to fight it this time. At least he was actually doing something.

It goes without saying that so far, this was one of their worst adventures yet. They didn’t know how that was possible after going through what felt like an eternity of them, but this easily my took the cake. Their bodies awkwardly bashed into each other to other being shocked, they hadn’t said a word to each other since they started walking and they had no idea where to find the key to free themselves from this God awful social prison. It felt like they were running around in circles inside the circus, and the silence was not doing good for Ragatha’s mental state. The worrying woman was just staring at the floor, questioning if they’d ever find this key. It wasn’t abstracting levels of bad, but it was easy to see that it was taking a toll on her. Even for someone like Jax.

He thought of what to do for a bit, it would be so easy to just ignore it, and Ragatha would deserve it for how she’d treated him today…but this trip was boring enough as it was, the last thing he needed was for them to just not talk.

‘Hey, redhead,’ the rabbit called out abruptly, poking her where her ribs would be with a gloved hand. It took all of her willpower to not jump back and get the both of them electrocuted, though her eyes did widen as a loud squeak exited her mouth. Ragatha covered her mouth afterwards, like she was trying to force the reaction back in before looking down at Jax, whose grin had grown ten times wider. Her eyes narrowed at him, almost like a warning to not say anything. And he didn’t say anything, he just burst out laughing.

‘Pffthahaha, oh my Gahahd, dolly, your ticklish! That’s fuckin’ priceless!’ Jax nearly doubled over laughing, clutching his sides while Ragatha just looked around worriedly, her face getting redder and redder as she hoped no one was hearing him.

‘Shut up, Jax, it’s not that big of a deal!’ Ragatha exclaimed, but her words were honestly true. She doubted anyone else in the circus would care about the grand reveal of her being ticklish of all things, it may be a little interesting to Pomni who was still getting the hang of things here, the only person reacting to it were the two of them. Even then, she should’ve expected something like this from Jax, but being teased about being ticklish was especially flustering to her. Mainly because she…liked it. It was hard not to like to her, it was all warm and fuzzy and made her all squirmy, how could she not enjoy being tickled? Plus, it was like having her real, non-rag doll body again, it reminded her of being a real person outside the circus.

‘Oh, this is a huge deal! I can’t believe it took me this long to find this out…hey, whatcha say we make up for lost time?’ Jax said, his yellow smile getting even wider, taking a soft step closer to Ragatha. The doll in turn, looked up near him, not having the confidence to face Jax directly, especially with her face being so red. She opened her mouth but it was like her insides were completely empty, she couldn’t get anything out of her mouth. Not waiting for an answer, Jax’s hands shot down to Ragatha’s sensitive sides, immediately squeezing at them.

‘Jahahahahahahax!!’ Ragatha shouted from the touch, her hands clasping right over her mouth as her eyes went wide. The woman’s feet tapped against the floor repeatedly, doing her best to not move away. This really was the best worst possible scenario for her.

‘Yeeessss, Dolly?’ The man asked, acting like nothing was wrong here. His dexterous fingers crawled over to Ragatha’s tummy, scratching against the fabric of her dress. Curiously, he was starting to notice how she wasn’t really trying to squirm away from his fingers, it looked like she was bucking into them actually.

‘C-cahahahahan you nanahahahat?!’ The redhead ruffed, struggling to get her words out properly through all her laughter.

‘Well, Raggedy, I don’t think you want me to not,’ Jax mimicked her fractured speech just to tick her off more, but the woman seemed far more preoccupied with the fact that Jax was catching on so easily that she enjoyed this. Of course Jax of all people had to find out, this would be the worst for her! Though, it wasn’t like he stopped tickling her yet…maybe she could enjoy this for a little longer.

‘Juhuhust, shuhuhuhut up!’ Ragatha pouted, tilting her face away from Jax who pulled his hands away for a second, earning a disappointed look for a second. His eyes looked wider and intense, yet somehow had a playful shine in them.

‘Oh, no, no, no, you do not get to tell me to shut up and get away with it!’ Jax called her out before shooting his hands right under her armpits. And that was when Ragatha started screaming.

‘WAIAHAHAHAT, NAHAHAT THEHERE!!’ The woman’s arms clung to her sides instantly, squirming about on the spot with a desperate expression taking over her blushing face. Jax had gotten really lucky just now and landed on her death spot, though she wasn’t complaining. It was sort of relieving in a way, she’d be anxious of him finding this out ever since this tickling attack started so it felt like a weight was lifted now that this was out of the way.

Though, Jax was absolutely loving this. He wouldn’t admit that now that he knew Ragatha actually enjoyed getting tickled, well he didn’t know but it was pretty obvious, but being able to make her screech and laugh was definitely going to be a way for him to kill the time. He messily grabbed at her wrists, clumping them up to hold them with one hand. Then, he raised her arms above her head, leaving that precious death spot of hers on display.

Ragatha tried to wiggle her way out of his grip but it was pretty useless, a couple loose giggles of anticipation slipped out of her mouth, staring over at the rabbit to see when he was going to strike.

‘Alright, let’s see if you can handle this!’ He announced, treating it like it was some game. His fingers began messily poking around the hollows of her armpits to start with, but it quickly morphed into fast, deep scratching against her sensitive skin which drove the woman insane.

‘NAHAHAHAHAHA, I CAHAHHAAHHAN’T!!’ Ragatha admitted instantly, dropping all sense of embarrassment or shame about getting tickled by Jax. Bouncing around on her feet, Ragatha felt like if she was tickled for another second was going to die, or at least get the two electrocuted. While Jax may not care about the first one, he didn’t want to get shocked too and decided to take some pity on the woman.

His hands left her armpits, leaving them with a slight tingling sensation but for the most part, Ragatha recovered pretty quickly. Her face still had a red sheen to it but the shock and horror of the tickling session was passing her now. Until Jax spoke up.

‘Oh, I am so telling everyone about this.’

‘Don’t you dare!’

[716chr]

Chihiro Natsuyaki Novel - “Choose Me!”

Track 3 - Semi-Final

From the apartment window, the sight of a setting sun could be seen.

My younger sisters, who were in elementary school, were still anxiously staring at the entrance.

Still dressed in my middle school uniform, I reassured them many times,

“It’s okay. If Mom doesn’t come home, your big bro will find us something to eat.”

But the truth is, even I was waiting for Mom’s return.

Once or twice a year, she’d come home in high spirits and say, “You must be hungry.”, while setting out bentos for us. I wished today was one of those days.

But since that seemed unlikely, I searched the kitchen shelves, only to end up with half-eaten cornflakes and furikake.

I sighed, realizing we were out of rice.

What should I even say to my little sisters? Not knowing what to do, I sat down on the kitchen floor and noticed the comic book I’d left on the shelf after I started reading it yesterday. Big sis got it from a used bookstore, and it’s now pretty worn out after being read for so many times.

It’s a manga where a Heisei-era gyaru is the main character, and it’s my most beloved book.

Upon opening it, I saw the life of a cheerful, energetic, and the strongest Heisei-era gyaru ever being depicted. Reading the story alone made me feel uplifted.

“She’s so cool….”

I muttered to myself unconsciously.

After all, the Heisei-era wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, right? There were really tough times too. Yet, she gathered all the things she thought were sparkly, things she loves, and dressed up in her own style. Despite everything, she maintained an unbothered attitude as she continued to smile and flashed her signature peace sign.

The most powerful way of living.

I wish I could be like that too.

In my ears, the tune of a Heisei-era idol song starts playing. Humming along, I stood up, dance lightly and spin.

At that very moment, the small, dirty kitchen seemed to sparkle.

…..If I could become the ultimate gyaru-minded, dazzling idol, I wondered if everyone would love me then.

Those were my thoughts back then.

It was during the “13Choose!” audition.

Completely absorbed, almost nothing else was on my mind.

Only the routine of waking up early in the morning, intensely practicing singing and dancing, which dragged on until the dead of night.

Since our smartphones were confiscated, we were practically cut off from the outside world. Some kids even cried due to the anxiety.

We were constantly being judged by people, sometimes being chosen if lucky, and sometimes not if unlucky…..

No matter how hard I worked, I found myself endlessly swayed by the “likes” and “dislikes” of mere strangers, which caused my emotions to become increasingly pressured.

Once the show aired, surprisingly, I somehow survived multiple rounds of selection.

Maybe my pink hair stood out and caught people’s attention.

Despite comments made about me saying I was great at dancing, yet bad at singing, and just decent at rapping, I received more viewer votes I thought I would.

Although it was edited out, the trainers gave me their full support, for which I was really grateful for.

Now there are 33 contestants left. We’ve finally reached the semi-finals.

That day, the next mission was announced: Perform a cover of classic songs.

What's more, some of my favorite Heisei-era songs were included. And of course, I was overjoyed and picked my favorite song.

——If you can make it to the semi-finals, it’ll keep the show engaging.

At that time, the words the director said to me on our first meeting kept flashing in my mind.

I’ve already made it to the semi-finals.

In other words, I’m as good as expired goods from this point on.

That’s why I decided I’ll give it my all.

I wanted to be seen as worthy of being a finalist.

33 contestants were randomly divided into different groups to perform their songs.

Individual evaluations were important, but if the group didn’t win, there’d be no recognition whatsoever.

That’s why, I volunteered to be the group leader, even though it wasn't my strongest suit. I wanted to push myself to grow.

But there were still some others in my group who weren’t good at either dancing or singing.

“Are you just here to play?”

The cold words coming from the trainer on that day’s lesson chilled the atmosphere.

One person was scolded, and called out by name. It’s obvious from the looks of it that his face instantly turned pale in that moment.

Once the trainer left, the person who was scolded dashed out of the rehearsal room in tears.

Unable to ignore the situation, I, both as a leader and a friend, went after him. As I comforted him who was crying in the corner, hearing him uttered, 'I'm done, I give up,' nearly brought tears to my own eyes.

……I know how that feels; That feeling of wanting to give it all up.

Despite your best efforts to hold on, each day feels like a never-ending struggle filled with anxiety.

You can't help but imagine how much relief it would bring to just let it all go. It's agonizing to long for something that remains unattainable, no matter how badly you wish for it.

But even so…… Even so, I just can’t ignore this blazing feeling of not wanting to give up here, in this place.

“It’s okay. Just take it one step at a time, okay? I believe you can definitely make it. I’ll be here with you ‘til the end.”

To comfort him, I began listing off all the good qualities and traits he has. When I returned with the boy who had now stopped crying, the other group members looked at us worriedly.

With my resolves tightened, and as cheerfully as possible, I tried to quell everyone’s anxieties.

“So, as y’all already know, we’re doin’ a Heisei song this time, right? That’s why Chii’s here with a suggestion! How ‘bout we all dive into a Heisei gyaru mindset together? First, let’s give ourselves a good pep talk! When we can't do it and feel frustrated, who's the one we're most upset at? Ourselves, right? So let's get mad at ourselves first, and then let's cheer ourselves up!”

In front of everyone who’s still wearing cloudy expressions, I’ll take the lead and be the demonstration.

“Chihiro! Stop fucking around already! You’re absolutely useless yourself too! Don’t fucking think you can become an idol acting like that! You’re just a worthless scum who needs to push yourself harder!”

Facing the massive mirrors plastered on the wall of the practice room, I hurled insults at myself with everything I got. When I glanced back, the other members were taken aback. I laughed and kept going.

“But still, I'm thankful for all the effort you've given so far. I have faith in you. And you've got incredible groupmates there with you.”

I could see everyone’s eyes getting misty. I hope that my feelings could get across to them; that I, too, believe in them.

“Don’t give up, Chihiro! March on with a spartan mentality!”

After I finished my part, I gestured to the other members, urging them to go on ahead.

The guy who was crying just a moment ago inhaled sharply, and shouts at the mirror,

“Stop crying! Instead of wasting time crying, put in the effort! You can do so much better than this!”

After venting out his frustrations, his face brightened, and now he’s smiling, saying, “I’ll definitely get through this!”, as a form of self-encouragement.

Laughter broke out, and everyone gave themselves a good scolding. After that, we all praised and cheered each other up. By that point, everyone was already grinning. We shifted our mindset once again and focused entirely on our rehearsals.

Our performance was a success. Bonded by the strong ties we made during rehearsal, we challenged ourselves to surpass our limits in both dancing and singing.

Results are the reason for victory; if you win, those votes add up to your ratings.

We all embraced each other in celebration, and even Komu-kun, who’s from a different group, said, "I could tell that Chii and the others would win the moment I saw you guys perform."

I felt satisfied to have achieved this. It was as if every void in my heart had been filled for the first time.

I even felt that sense of fulfillment.

Until I watched the on-air broadcast.

——Stop fucking around already! You’re completely useless too!

What is this?

What on earth… am I watching right now?

I don’t understand any of this. On the screen, the footage showed me yelling and losing my temper.

It happened when the contestants were gathered in the hall to watch the program that recently aired.

Everyone was rattled when they watched the scene of me yelling.

The “Chihiro,” I said before I started yelling, was edited out.

The member who ran out of the rehearsal room crying after being scolded by the trainer was edited to make it seem like he ran out because I yelled at him.

The boy in question, who was sitting nearby, looked at me in panic. The other members whom I went through the same challenge with turned to look at me, and called out worriedly, “Chihiro….”.

I could only smile warmly and reassure them with my gaze.

Because……. I’m their leader, after all.

But truthfully, my mind was a mess. My heart was pounding and I felt like throwing up. It felt like raw hostility and malice were suddenly being rained on me.

They gave us back our phones for an hour after the broadcast. We’re allowed to check social media, but posting was a no-go.

Breaking the rules is an immediate ticket home. So I can’t even post to say, “That was a misunderstanding.”

If I can't defend myself, it’s best if I don’t look at it.

That was what I planned, but after locking myself in my room alone, I ended up giving in and went on an ego-search.

I knew. I knew it well, even before looking, that it would be a huge disaster.

My personal SNS account was flooded with a massive amount of hate and abusive comments.

“Low-life”, “Scum”, “Kill yourself”, “We don’t need power-harassing idols like you”, “So you were actually a piece of shit”, “Not gonna support you anymore”, ……

Everything in front of me began to spin.

Why? Why was it edited like that?

…..Was it because I’m no longer needed after the semi-finals?

My heart pounded so fast that it hurts.

My breathing became shallow, and I felt like I’m going to collapse at any moment.

As I crouched on the floor, I desperately comforted myself.

——Stay strong, Chihiro. Don’t let this break you, Chihiro……

The me on TV was just a fake.

A version of me edited for convenience. A false image created by the director.

……That’s right, Chihiro Natsuyaki is still safe and sound.

It’s “Chii” that everyone hates.

An alert sounded in the hall, signaling the time to collect our smartphones.

Knowing being late will lead to a penalty, I slowly rise to my feet.

I mentally urge myself to switch it up, switch gears.

After leaving my smartphone in the basket in the main hall, Komu-kun started talking to me in front of the fixed camera.

“Chii….. Are you okay?”

They're filming us right now, right? We’re clearly reflected in the camera lenses, right?

I knew he was genuinely worried about me, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he chose this place to ask.

I only smiled brightly and threw out a peace sign.

“Absolute~ly! Chii would say he’s feelin’ super duper hyped with all this attention he’s gettin’, y’know? Feelin’ totes Very Lucky right now~!”

Aware of the camera's presence, I folded my arms and wondered out loud, "Did I go overboard back there?”

“Since it’s a Heisei song that Chii got mad respect for, the ‘Chii’ vibes just couldn’t be contained at all, oopsie ♪”

Playfully pressing my fist to my forehead and sticking my tongue out.

This isn’t me. This is "Chii."

It’s "Chii," so people could think whatever they want.

That‘a what I thought.

With the mindset of the ultimate gyaru, Chii can sparkle and smile brightly, and because of that,

——He’d never get hurt, no matter what.

Track 1 | Track 2 | Track 3 | Track 4 | Track 5

[araneitela]

I want to make a little note of something for my portrayal of Kafka, especially because I see it butting its head around the corner on multiple platforms for Blade, which means that the refreshed assumptions for Kafka aren't far behind.

Kafka is not maternal. Kafka is not parental. Nothing tells me that she'd fill ANY sort of familial 'guiding' role for Firefly in any familial sense. And if she would, we would likely have seen it manifest in even the slightest of ways around Silver Wolf, but we never did, not even a glimpse. Outside of that, characterizing Kafka as parental or, specifically, maternal in any capacity, to me is a fiercely wrong reading of her character. Kafka's empathy and moments of care seem to, quite honestly, be dabbling in something akin to romanticism (note that with this I'm not proclaiming automatic romantic nature across the board), rather than anything inherently familial. It's very specific, and while her tone is often rather saccharine, even that I think is often massively overplayed. Now while I don't play into the 'she has lessened emotion(s)', I do think she is more selective in what catches her interest, which is dictated by very specific things, and 'emotions' aren't one of them. Firefly coming across as relatively insecure/uncertain, shy or whatever terminology people want to use for her, will not find any empathy in Kafka, and it will not soften her for her in any capacity. And actually during a specific exchange with Blade, something was said that I want to build on (putting this under a read more now, even if it's earlier on in 2.2's content) as something that will/would add to her reactions to Firefly that are inherently important:

Blade: In half a system hour, it will lead us to Kafka, and then comes the downfall of the Jepella Brotherhood. Firefly: Is that also part of the script? Blade: It's in your script, too. Firefly: Sorry, I didn't notice. Blade: Their destiny won't change just because of your selective ignorance.

After speaking rather at length about this with my Blade, I agree that he doesn't exactly sound thoroughly... thrilled during this bit of their exchange in particular. And honestly, one can even quite easily go to the extent of saying that he sounds rather snippy towards her, especially at the words 'selective ignorance' (all in all, those chosen words themselves already aren't exactly kind). And quite honestly, it makes perfect sense that he sounds this way, for going off-script or entertaining the possibility thereof, as a Stellaron Hunter, is a big no-no. This isn't just Elio's vision and they're forced puppets on strings without free hill, no no, the beautiful thing about the Stellaron Hunters is that while they may each have their own personal reasoning for accepting to take orders from Elio: they do so devotedly of their own accord. It is, in all ways, their choice. But the script is the script, and deviating from it may not only endanger the future that is chosen, but it can directly endanger one of the other hunters. So going off-script is worthy of no 'warm fatherly correction' (don't get me started on how Blade isn't parental/paternal at all either, but Lauri said it already), it's actually worthy of being chided over, which is exactly what he's doing. In turn Kafka, who is canonically noted to be Elio's right-hand, would be no kinder whatsoever. She has commented on moments that appear to be off-script at the beginning of the game, and you can hear a very clear semblance of annoyance in her voice, and that was simply something a little unexpected (and if memory serves, SW notes that it isn't an off-script moment), imagine if one of the other hunters actively decided to go off-script, I don't think there would be anyone to chide you over it more, than Kafka herself. This entire exchange, if it had been between Firefly and Kafka herself, would have easily been even snippier, along with an active tone of annoyance.

Kafka isn't parental, Kafka is only very selectively one that can fill a 'guiding' role (specifically the TB, but even that I don't like to classify under that kind of behavior), but she most certainly is not a supportive, 'mother-like', 'awww, you poor thing', and forgiving woman. She isn't cruel, but they have a job to do, alongside others. You don't endanger the mission, and you don't endanger the ones who're part of it with you. This is non-negotiable.

[culttvblog]

Detective: Death in Ecstasy and a Side Excursion into Don't Open 'Till Christmas (1984)

A break from Ann Way season for this my Christmas blog post and as is my custom I'm still not blogging about Too Many Christmas Trees. Instead I've chosen an unseasonal mystery and a side excursion into a film which is actually Christmas themed.

Detective: Death in Ecstasy (1964)

Detective (1964-9) was an anthology series of dramatised crime stories by famous detective writers, which meant that its episodes tended to feature well-known fictional detectives. In fact some of them were introduced by Rupert Davies in character as Inspector Maigret. It also served as a source of pilots for series made afterwards. It partly remains in the archive but has never been commercially released as far as I know, and the episodes are as rare as hen's teeth so I was pleased to find this one on YouTube.

Death in Ecstasy is based on a novel by Ngaio Marsh published in 1936. Those familiar with her later writings will miss the complex characterisation and plotting for which she is known, here: instead the plot is much more straightforward and the characters more like the sketches we find in Agatha Christie. Inspector Alleyn's journalist friend shoves his way into the House of the Sacred Flame to see what is going on, only to discover that in the midst of the service the woman selected as the 'chosen vessel' collapses dead. He calls in Alleyn because he thinks he might be interested.

Even without my personal interest in cults and New Religious Movements, I would have to say that more murders should be set in cults because the group is an absolute gift to television. I am not sure whether we are intended to be shocked by the group and all its adherents or whether we are intended to think that they are just bohemian as you would expect. Probably it would have been more shocking in 1936 to find that the group's priest was dealing heroin than it would now. Even more fascinating to me personally is that the cult is based on a real one (which didn't have any murders) that Marsh knew in New Zealand in the 1890s and which I'm going to have to find out about.

The novel is also a gift to television in the sense that the entire story takes place in the group's church and the priest's flat so it only needs a small set. This doesn't come across as limited or cheap, because it's quite an exotic set!

I don't have any criticisms of this myself, however I see two criticisms are commonly made by Marsh fans, which is that Alleyn is too old and also that the show pronounces the name AllANE rather than ALlan, which is how Marsh wanted it pronounced. This may be an unpopular opinion but my own opinion is that if you want people to pronounce your detective's name in a particular way but spell it in a way inviting the public to pronounce it another way, you're inviting a lifetime of having to correct people.

My absolutely favourite bit is the place where the police re-enact the events of the murder and all kneel down around the altar (pictured).

Don't Open 'Till Christmas (1984)

Regular readers will know that I like nothing better than trying to rehabilitate some TV show which has been critically panned but I personally like and that is the pretext for one of my periodic side trips out of the world of TV and into film. Don't Open 'Till Christmas (1984) is an almost universally critically panned slasher film about a serial killer targeting people dressed as Father Christmas in London.

This is one of those occasions when I'm going to suggest viewers on't watch this film primarily for the plot, which meanders along in a rather confusing way. On one level it's fairly predictable because every time you see a Father Christmas costume you know some violence is on the way. On another level everybody says that this film is barely watchable and a complete 'turkey'.

The film took over a year to make. The reason for this is that it was plagued by conflict between the production and director who also starred in it. Ultimately he left and another director took over; unfortunately by this time most of the original cast were unavailable and large parts had to be cut or remade. The new director was then sacked. Helpfully the original director then returned and so much of the original footage could then be used again. If merely reading this is confusing it explains the impact of these events on the film, and their effect of leaving the film feeling like it's rather been stitched together from random stuff. Personally I don't dislike this effect, and honestly I think it enhances the numerous red herrings the film sets up about the identity of the Santa killer, but obviously the rest of the internet and the critics disagree.

Apart from this massive problem, honestly I think this film is just delightful. It has a marvellous atmosphere of a 1980s Christmas in London, juxtaposed with the terror of a serial killer loose in the city whom the police just seem unable to catch. I suppose it's one of those things where for me the atmosphere trumps the detail. Perhaps this could be some sort of personality indicator!

A happy holiday to all my readers.

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[philippmichelreichold]

On Death and Designation in Neal Asher's Transformation Trilogy

μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος --Iliad

Gordon Dickson's Soldier Ask Not is set in a different sort of milieu than the Polity. In it civilization has splintered along personality types. the three main Splinter cultures consist of the Friendlies, people of faith, the Dorsai , warriors, and the Exotics, philosophers. The viewpoint character, Tam Olyn, a man of Old Earth, is a vengeful manipulator straight out of ancient Greece. Tam asks some Friendly soldiers if they think they will lose the current conflict on which Tam is ostensibly reporting. They respond overwhelmingly in the negative. For them the conflict will end in victory or death, and "what is death?"

One might well ask "what is death?" in the Polity universe, where we have recordings of people's memories and personalities that can be restored in machine or living body form. What then is Penny Royal's crime exactly? Like Tam Olyn, Theovald Spear begins his story obsessed with seeking revenge for needless, unjust deaths during wartime. Like Odysseus, Άνθρωπος πoλυτροπος, both are much traveled on journeys of many turnings. Both, filled with wrath, seek to avenge the wrongly dead. At the end of both their stories/journeys come revelation, the truth, and freedom.

Of those seeking revenge against Penny Royal, Spear is least changed by the experience. Physically, he has gone largely unchanged. The mental and emotional changes are subtle. One change is his obsession with confronting Penny Royal. Another is a feeling that he is "pursuing a set destiny". According to google translate, "Thor vald" means "Thor selected" or "Thor's power", and Thorvald is selected by Penny Royal to represent those slain at Panarchia. Spear has received not only his own memories but the memories of others among Penny Royal's victims. He thus has a unique perspective of events on Panarchia. Like Tam he has the power of objectivity. Thus he has been given the power to forgive or judge/execute Penny Royal. A spear set to be Its chosen instrument.

Two other of Penny Royal's victims were self-selected, Isobel Satomi and Sverl. Satomi, whose name means "beauty" in Japanese, is/was a beautiful woman on the outside and a hideous monster on the inside. Through the miracle (Elizabeth can be translated "My God is abundance") of Penny Royal's nanotech, the ugly shines straight on through. Later, with the monster separated out, what remains is a memstore echo of the person that was. She is left to contemplate her beauty that was lost. One is left to wonder if there would be any value/point/benefit to restoring her further. There may not be much to restore.“There is nothing left for me,” she replied. “I just want to go away now."

Satomi lacks character or depth-- she is unable to look more deeply than her immediate urgings. Like the war machine she was transformed into physically, she locks onto a goal and moves to achieve it, no time to think of consequences. She sees that Mr. Pace has become invincible a la Penny Royal and desires similar invincibility. When Trent Sobel expressed doubt that Mr Pace is happy with his transformation, she could not grasp the possibility that Mr Pace has made a Shaitan's bargain. Once separated from the war machine and preserved in crystal, she cannot let go of her anger at Penny Royal for the transformation he gave her. She desires restoration to her pre Penny Royal state, but not redemption.His next Prador instinct was to find some way to punish them, but then he decided he was better ttan that.

Sverl's transformation is in the opposite direction from Satomi's. He goes from being a monster obsessed to ein Mensch. He was was obsessed with hating/killing humans, with his displeasure with the outcome of the war and the king that so ended it, with understanding how/why the war was lost, and finally, he was obsessed with Penny Royal. He is the most transformed and the most beneficially transformed of Penny Royal's revenge seekers. Sverl spent a hundred years studying the human condition and developed a great understanding thereof. He became a very unpradorish Prador- an intellectual. He developed hobbies and worked on science projects in his spare time. He gained not only the understanding of what he sought but a greater understanding of all things. He has left the war in the past and with it any resentment of Riss for infecting him with parasites. He has outgrown hate and the need for vengeance and has replaced it with an intellectual life and a pragmatism that opens new vistas to him. One might hope the Prador king can forgive the inconvenience of his survival and see him as an exemplar for Prador in the future."And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?" --Genesis 4:6

Apart from the Penny Royal experience, Spear and Sverl have common ground. Both are intellectual and gifted with enquiring minds. Both have that rarest of gifts, extreme competence. They contrast with the villains of the piece, Cvorn and Brockle, whose minds are set and whose competence is inadequate.But, either way, Sverl was dead, and all Cvorn’s plans in ruins.

Despite availing himself of some Polity tech, Dragoncorp augs, Cvorn remains very much as he and Sverl were at the end of the war. Despite/because of the steadfastness of his personality and attitudes, he sets about rejuvenating himself physically and sexually. This rejuvenation inflates his arrogance and impairs his judgment, and provides Sfolk with the manner of his undoing.. Unchanged is his hatred for the Polity, the soft humans and the AI's alike. He very much resents losing the war.. He has this in common with Satomi-- a longing for vengeance. More than this, he wants to restart the war. He has no particular dislike for Penny Royal, beyond his hatred of Polity AI's, but Sverl is both an enemy and a means to an end. He would reveal the abomination that is Sverl, thereby inflaming passions throughout the Kingdom and re-igniting the war. Caught up in his feelings/anger/hatred, he never considers the surety of the disastrous outcome another Polity-Prador war would have for the Kingdom."For blood with blood shall, while I sit as judge, / Be satisfied, and the law discharg’d” The Spanish Tragedy III.vi.35–36.

Neither Cvorn nor Brockle is one of Penny Royal's victims. The most important commonality between Penny Royal and Brockle is insanity in the form of homicidal mania. It is a matter of degree. Whereas Penny Royal has a part that is insane, Brockle's insanity is all pervasive. Penny royal subdues and harnesses his insanity. In Brockle insanity gains full rein/reign. He is unstable, and his insanity escalates so that his self justification for his crimes is ever changing and his obsession with Penny Royal ever growing. He began as a sadistic cop who took more pleasure in hurting people than the job required. Not quite breaking the law sufficiently to merit/suffer execution, he is paroled to the prison hulk Tyburn. (Tyburn was a place of execution in Middlesex).

He shares with Penny Royal the abilities to manipulate matter with nanotech-- disassembling/reassembling people and things, and he can separate his parts-- shoaling and adding more sub units as needs arise. As his abilities grow, so grows his need to end Penny Royal and so increases his megalomania. The obsession leads him to not only commit actual crimes punishable by the ending of him but also to see himself as supplanting(?) Penny Royal. He begins by wishing to end an evil threat the Polity AI's are unable to recognize and ends by seeking to destroy Penny Royal and take his place in Layden's Sink. Confusingly, he will either cause a time paradox that would destroy the Polity and the Kingdom but that's O.K. or it is he that enters the sink to begin with, and not Penny Royal, so all the better. (I hate temporal mechanics.)If you boil the water surrounding a prador, it won’t even realize it is dying. Brockle ate itself for a thousand years..

Both these villains, Cvorn and Brockle, are profoundly arrogant and supremely overconfident. Like Satomi, they are locked-in and incapable of meaningful change/growth.If they would just get on with their lives and let Sverl on the one hand and Penny Royal on the othergo, they could be so much better off. Each is too obsessed to see objectively where their best interests lie. Each comes to a bad end because of it.

References

On Death and Designation in Neal Asher's Transformation Trilogy. Philipp Michel Reichold. MAR 16TH, 2017.

Soldier, Ask Not. Gordon R Dickson.

Transformation series. Neal Asher.

Dark Intelligence (2015)[6] ISBN 9780330524551War Factory (2016) ISBN 9780330524612Infinity Engine (2017) ISBN 9780330524636

All of my article content should be regarded as attribution required. A link to my content is sufficient.

[thewingedbaron]

Owlcatober Day Sixteen: Invisible

Look, Vysk really does mean well. But, she is horrible at knowing when someone is flirting with her vs just matching her chaotic energy. Afterall, what else could a dozen rose bushes in her command room be, other than a prank? In this case, her response might be a little... extreme.

Prank Wars (1121 words)

Fandom: Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous

Warnings: none

Characters: Vysk (Knight Commander), Wilcer Garms, Daerun (kinda)

Read here under the cut, or over on Ao3?

“What’s this one?” Vysk asked, leaning over a small bottle attached to a silvery chain. 

“Invisibility potion, ma’am. Should last about an hour. One of the patrol squads found it, along with a horde of other knick-knacks and potions in an old apothecary’s residence today. Officers figured they should keep it away from the lads lest they get up to some unsavory business.” Wilcer Garms chuckled. “So, it ended up in the supply stock with everything else.” 

“How much?” The Knight Commander asked, leaning over the small bottle to read the tiny label attached. 

“For you? A hundred a fifty coins, and we’ll call it even.” The quarter master grinned. “Afterall, you’re running the rest of my stock.” 

Vysk smiled, gently placing the potion amongst the stack of armors, scrolls, and other bottles on Garm’s counter. “Send the inventory to the citadel for the money.” She said. “Theo will see that you’re paid.” 

“As usual, ma’am.” Wilcer replied with a tip of his imaginary hat. “Thank you kindly for your business. I’ll see that our requisitions are a little fancier this month.” 

“You’re the best, Wilcer. Don’t you forget it!” Vysk grinned as she swept the pile of items into her waiting bag of holding. With those secured, she skipped off down the street, joined a moment later by the looming form of Jester, her Hippogriff.

“Ope, try this on darling.” Vysk selected a small amulet from the bag. It was coin sized, made of silver, and depicted a clenched fist on its face. She hummed as she slotted the little trinket into a recess on Jester’s barding. “It’s meant for monks to empower their unarmed strikes. But seeing as Lann is married to his bow, I figured it might work for you instead.” 

Jester offered a little chirp in reply, angling his eyes down to study the little amulet. He cocked his head at Vysk. 

I don’t feel any stronger. He seemed to say. 

` “Just try it for a bit, it will be fine.” She waved him off, returning to the bag. “Come on, I have a few more things to drop off with friends, then, I have something special planned.” 

The hippogriff cocked his head again, inquisitive this time. But, after a moment, he took off after his rider as she skipped down the street. 

Count Daerun had chosen rooms high in Drezen’s citadel. As he put it when the crusaders finally retook the city, he wanted his rooms to be hardly accessible, and high enough that he could look down upon all of Drezen’s residents. 

On one of those accounts, the Count had succeeded, Vysk thought as she worked her way through the maze of rooms and up two spiral staircases to the lonely tower were Daerun made his home. He had claimed that he needed the space for his beauty sleep, and so that his parties would not be interrupted by the “common folk.” Vysk suspected he just liked to annoy the serving staff by making them walk so far to attend to him. 

She could have, hypothetically, just taken Jester up to the Count’s balcony and dropped herself off there. It would have saved her the stairs, but stealth was the name of today’s mission. Vysk had dropped off most of her effects back in her own quarters, taking with her only a pair of slippers, a wand of dispel magic, and the invisibility potion from Wilcer’s stock. She wore soft slippers, and her patrol armor to avoid making any unnecessary noise as she stalked through the halls. Finally, after what felt like miles of stone hallways, she reached the Count’s door. 

She had it on good authority that Daerun was having tea with Carmilla at this hour. The pair of them had been spending some time together as of late. A dangerous combination, for sure, Vysk thought as she slipped the lockpicks from her sleeve. Maybe they just preferred a fellow noble’s company over the rough and tumble crusaders. Or, maybe Daerun knew a little more than he was letting on about Carmilla’s… strange… activities. Vysk had tried to follow her half-elf companion on a number of occasions to see exactly where she was going, but to no avail. The damned noble was slippery when she wanted to be. 

Vysk shrugged, questions for another time, she thought, as the lock clicked under her nimble fingers. She slowly worked the door open, peaking through the tiny, inch wide crack with the wand. With a short activation phrase and a flick of her wrist, she deactivated the warding runes cast just inside the door.

With a wicked smile, Vysk popped the cork on the potion and walked inside. Daerun’s chambers were as lavish and overblown as could be expected of the man. Pillows and cushions littered every available surface with random plates and goblets strewn between them. Garish paintings of figures she didn’t recognize covered the walls, along with quite a few portraits of the man, himself. 

Vysk padded into the room, smile widening as she stood amid the center of the space. Upstairs, she could hear faint voices as the Count and Carmilla discussed something over the clinking of cups on plates. Oh, Daerun. Fill my command room with roses? You must know there are consequences! 

Vysk dropped, cross legged in the middle of the room. She screwed her eyes shut and reached for the mythic power deep within her. At certain points, throughout the corrupted land, she had called upon her power to restore nature, and call the spirit of the old woods back. Such was her ability as a budding Atza. What was to say that she couldn’t do it on demand?

She concentrated on finding the wilds within the room. Small seeds that had been stashed by birds within the stone walls. Moss and lichen that had slowly crept into the structure, hiding in the cracks where the servants could not see to wipe it away. Her mind latched onto the little signs of life like an arrow speeding toward its target. 

Grow little ones. She thought. Grow. 

The seeds responded to her request, sprouting vines and roots that burrowed into the rock. Moss thickened on the walls, gobbling up the stone work under a tide of green. Vysk pushed it further, pulling the growth along by a string of magic in her mind. When she finally opened her eyes, the space had transformed. Moss covered the walls behind the paintings, careful not to damage any of them. Between the cushions, thin trees had sprouted, reaching with their canopies up to the high ceilings of the room. Between their branches, long vines hung like curtains. In mere moments, Vysk had grown a little jungle, right in the middle of the count’s suite of rooms. 

Rose bushes. She could do so much better than rose bushes. For a moment, Vysk considered sneaking out the door and waiting for the Count to discover her little prank on his own. Then, she looked down at her invisible form. How long had Garms said this would last? An hour? She had time. 

Vysk grinned as she picked a corner and settled down to wait. The Count was in for a little surprise when he finished his tea.

[sassykattery]

Harsh Reality, Pt. 4

Hello readers! Welcome to the first part of the "Harsh Reality" finale in my series "Love, Eternal." This part is rather intense in terms of conflict, so, please, as always, check out the cw. This is super long so saddle up!

*As a side note, I am aware that a certain character said something in Lesson 40 (40-22), but I won't spoil it in case some haven't gotten that far. Remember, this is technically an AU, though I try to write the cast as canon as it fits with the storyline I have chosen, or headcanon to fill in the gaps. This is a situation in which there has been a canon decision made by said certain character, however, I want this to go in a different direction. I actually have a headcanon draft made in case anyone was ever curious as to the literary choices I've made and why, and if there's enough interest, I'd be happy to share it.

CW: MC is afab and she/her pronouns are used. MC is poly. mentions of smut scene from Part 3 and pursuit scene from Part 2, arguments, harm to the reader, violence against the reader, use of profane and degrading language: slut, whore, bitch.

Themes: violence, angst, DiavoloxMC, LuciferxMC

Characters: MC="You", Lucifer, Diavolo, all brothers, Barbatos, mentions of Simeon and Solomon.

Minors, ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Masterlist

Enjoy~

-----

Putting the cursed record back in its sleeve, Lucifer began to select a new one to listen to. He found a soft, classic symphony to play, a benign one that he knew you liked. Humming as he put it on the record player, he then walked over to his bottle of Demonus to pour himself a glass. He swirled the drink in his hand, thinking about you.

He finished the glass and set it down, then proceeded to sit on the sofa. Watching your form on his bed, he patiently waited for you to come back to reality. He had already cleaned up the room, disposing all evidence of what you two did for the last few hours. Even going as far as making sure you had all the necessities on the end table for when you woke up.

His mind wandered to the images that flashed back into his mind. The ones of you running in the house, the ways you looked at him when he punished you, your moans and wails as he fucked you. You satiated a very sadistic part of him, and he would make sure you knew how much he appreciated it when you woke up.

However, you didn't wake up when he thought you would. You remained motionless on his bed, under his covers. He finally sauntered over to you, and he watched how lifeless you looked, but still breathing softly. His brows slightly furrowed in concern, and then maybe he thought he should just let you sleep for the night.

Decidedly, he proceeded with his nighttime routine and afterward crawled into bed beside you. You didn't even move when he draped his arm over you.

-

Lucifer woke first to find you still in the same position you were in last night. He wanted to give you a good start to your day, so he got up, got dressed in his uniform, and made your coffee the way you liked it.

When closed the door on his way back in, you finally shifted.

"Lucifer..." you called out, barely lifting your head. You started to roll over when the mattress depressed behind you. His fresh cologne along with the coffee made for a wonderful aroma in the room. Turning your head to look behind you, there he was, sitting next to you holding out a cup of coffee.

"I could-" your voice hitched. You coughed and felt the burn of your vocal chords at how hoarse they were. Lucifer immediately frowned.

"Here, drink this, it should help," he offered. You sat up gingerly, wincing at how sore you were, and graciously took the cup. Indeed, the liquid helped soothe your throat.

You cleared your throat and tried again. "I could get used to you bringing me coffee when I wake up," you mused quietly.

"I could agree to such an arrangement," Lucifer whispered, scooting closer to you and putting his warm arm around your back. He brushed a soft kiss on your temple.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, side-eyeing you.

"I'm very tired, and sore. Really, really sore," you replied timidly. Lucifer saw the bruises and bite marks all along your neck and his frown deepened.

"Are... you unhappy?" he inquired, almost afraid of the answer.

"Well, I need to talk to you about that little... game you played," you replied, sounding unenthused. "I was..." your voice trailed off, getting quieter with each syllable, "scared of you..."

He froze. You felt the tension in his whole body, and you knew he was instantaneously beating himself up for what he did now. "To be clear, I enjoyed the sex, you just were a bit... rougher than I expected," you continued.

You two sat there in complete silence, and you finally peered at Lucifer in your peripheral. His head was turned away from yours, his free hand balled up in a fist on his lap.

"Do you wish to leave me then?" is all he said, voice painfully neutral.

"Leave you?" you asked, surprised. He didn't elaborate. "No... I don't," you replied.

"I've broken my promise to not hurt you," he explained.

"Lucifer, I did ask you to be rough. I'm sorry I didn't realize how much that could be until-"

"Don't apologize," he hissed as he shot up from his spot next to you. He stood next to the bed with his back to you, arms crossed. His pride was clearly hurt, and you knew when that happened, he was inconsolable. Your blood pressure spiked with your annoyance, so you stood, still very much naked, and walked over to stand up to your boyfriend.

"I'm allowed to make my own choices, and last night I made a choice. If I wanted it to be different in the moment, I could have said so, but I didn't. I didn't need the safe word. I enjoyed what we did, and I'm glad I had that experience with you, because I trust you enough to give it to me," you snapped. "I'm merely telling you that maybe we need to dial down some of it... for me." you said more quietly. Now your heart hurt.

"I'm sorry that I'm so... fragile," you whispered, looking down at the floor.

Lucifer blinked at you, unsure how you could apologize for such a thing. He held a hand out, offering you a choice. You took it and stepped into his embrace.

"Lucifer, I love you. I don't think I could be without you again," you said into his chest. "I need you in my life," you murmured.

"I need you as well, MC," he whispered into your hair as he softly kissed the top of your head. "And I love you."

It wouldn't be a day in the House of Lamentation if Mammon didn't barge into Lucifer's room right then.

"Oi! We're gonna eat breakfast without ya and - oh sweet hell!" he said as he saw your naked body, hugging Lucifer.

He immediately covered his eyes, his face burning with his blush, but kept yelling, "Let her go right now Lucifer! You filthy demon quit buggin' MC and-"

He didn't get to continue his sentence as Lucifer sidestepped you and beelined for Mammon, literally throwing him out the door, closing it behind the two of them as he yelled at Mammon for barging into his room.

You sighed and looked around. Really, you didn't have any clothes to wear, thanks to Lucifer ripping them to shreds last night. So, you wandered over to his closet and grabbed a plain t-shirt that almost went to your knees when you slipped into it, figuring that was enough to get you from his room to yours. Just in case, you grabbed your blanket and wrapped it around you like a cloak.

Opening the door, you side-stepped the arguing brothers and scurried to your room, leaving them to bicker.

The rest of the morning went on without a hitch, just with Lucifer and Mammon silent at the dining table, to which, any of the brothers would agree that was favorable. Mammon couldn't look you in the eyes after seeing you naked, and worse yet, naked and hugging Lucifer instead of him. He still got to see you naked though.

At RAD, you went about your day as normal, none of the lower demons verbally harassing you like the previous day, but they still made sure to scowl at you while you waltzed through the halls, whispers wherever you went. Though, you did hear rumors about what a certain demon endured at the hands of the Avatars of Sin after bullying you.

There was a Student Council meeting after classes were over, so you made your way to the meeting room and found your seat, though every time you sat it was painful. Diavolo greeted everyone shortly after and went on about the end of final exams and the start of the seasonal break. As you watched him, he seemed to keep looking at you and then quickly looking away. It was typical for him to sneak looks at you and hold your gaze, but it was the way he wanted to look at you but couldn't for some reason. You weren't doing anything out of the ordinary, so you elected to ignore it until later.

After the meeting, Diavolo watched as everyone left, and just as you were about to grab the door as the last one out, he called out to you.

"MC," he said. His voice, you knew, sounded slightly unhappy.

You turned around to see him approaching you. He didn't have his usual big smile for you, so you immediately started panicking. "Walk with me to my office, will you?" he asked. You nodded and away you two went.

As you stepped inside his office, he closed and locked the door behind him. He sat on the sofa, so you joined him, looking at him expectantly.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I feel like I should be asking you that," you replied. "You kept looking at me during the meeting, and for once I wasn't doing anything."

He sighed and reached to undo your RAD uniform jacket and blouse and looked up at you. Nodding, he proceeded, exposing all the bruises, hickies, and bite marks littered across your shoulders, neck, and chest. He stared at them silently, still frowning.

You sighed this time and waited for him to answer.

"You looked like you were in pain today and that's when I noticed these," he stated.

"Diavolo..." you groaned. "It's fine, I'm okay. I... asked for it," you replied sheepishly. He glued his hands to his lap, gripping his knees to keep his cool. "I already told him to dial it down since..." you let the statement hang.

He remained silent, looking incredibly unhappy, at whom you weren't sure.

"How do I explain to you, clearly, that I hate seeing you hurt?" he ground out through his teeth. His eyes shifted to yours, and there was no warmth to be found.

"How is it any different from when you do it?!" you asked, gesturing at your chest.

"I don't enjoy hurting you and I work very hard to make sure that I don't. The marks be damned, do you not realize you wince every time you sit? When you picked up your bag, I saw you struggling to move. You also don't look like you've slept well. Tell me, what else happened?" he argued.

Now it was your turn to frown, clicking your tongue. For the second time today, your patience wore thin between your boyfriends, and it was going to be even more short-lived at this rate. When you stood, you silently put your uniform back together and headed to the door, leaving your prince behind.

"MC," you heard him call your name, but you just kept walking out of his office and wandered the empty halls of RAD.

Eventually, you found yourself in the RAD colosseum. The doors were left open and when you looked around, it was empty. You took a seat on the ground next to one of the entrances to the main floor. It was serene, and a place just to think.

Though the concern of your boyfriends was endearing, it was getting more difficult to deny, your mortality was becoming irksome. While Lucifer was willing to indulge himself, it ended up in disaster in his eyes. You knew you would never be able to satisfy his every whim, and it hurt you, because he more than satiated yours.

Then there was Diavolo. He obviously struggled to see you as anything other than a porcelain doll, in your mind, and you certainly refused to be treated as such. There's no freedom or fun in being held up on a pedestal so high no one could reach you, even if it's for your sake.

The harsh reality of it all, was you knew you couldn't keep up with them. A fragile human can't withstand the stamina or strength of demons, and the last couple days just proved it.

Feeling worn out, you brought your knees to your chest and rested your arms on your knees, letting your head lay on your arms to shut your eyes for a little bit.

---

"Hmph," Beel mumbled, unenthused. He sat on the sofa and scowled as his stomach rumbled, again.

"Wow, dinner is running late tonight. I wonder what's going on?" Belphie asked.

Mammon came stomping out of the kitchen and into the common room. "Anyone see MC today? She was supposed to help me with dinner, and she isn't here!" he griped.

"Hmm, that's strange. I didn't see her go home with any of us, so perhaps she's running home now? Have you tried calling?" Satan postulated.

"MC probably realized she didn't want to spend her time with the likes of you, Mammon," Asmo retorted, looking fondly at his nail polish.

As Mammon started griping out Asmo, Lucifer's hands immediately went for his D.D.D. He assumed you were with Diavolo if you didn't go home after the meeting.

Lucifer: Did you plan on keeping MC long after the meeting? There's going to be a riot at the house if she doesn't show up soon.

Diavolo: She left my office hours ago. You mean she's not at home?

Lucifer: No, she isn't. Did something happen?

Diavolo: She's not terribly happy with me. Where could she have gone?

Lucifer: Meet me at RAD, ASAP.

Lucifer pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm afraid no one knows where she is. Lord Diavolo said they went to his office after the meeting, but she left hours ago."

There was absolute silence in the living room for a moment, right before the riot actually started with Mammon panicking that they needed to find you, and they all chimed in. Satan pointed out your D.D.D. went straight to voicemail when he called.

Lucifer waited several seconds and then barked, "Enough."

After the uproar died down, Lucifer continued, "I will meet with Lord Diavolo, and we will look for MC. You lot need to remain here in case she shows up, except Mammon, you need to search the streets just in case she's out there. Everyone else, remain here until there's further instructions."

There was disgruntlement among the brothers, but Lucifer left them no time to actually voice complaints to him directly because he was out the door to join Diavolo at RAD.

-

"Stupid slut, sending your little boyfriends to kill our friend. They aren't here to protect you now, are they?" the demon sneered as he kicked your side again. You rasped another cry, no longer being able to hold in your choked sobs, unable to properly talk around the gag they put in your mouth.

"I wonder if she lets them all have turns with her, passing her around like a common whore," another jeered.

You had dozed off and woke up to find yourself being drug to the middle of the colosseum by a group of three demons. They took turns taking swings at you, kicking you around, choking you out until you almost passed out, then finally dropping you to the ground to writhe and gasp for air.

One pulled you up by your hair, causing you to groan in pain, and looked you in the eyes. "You know, we heard how you tried to stand up to our friend. We were actually rather impressed you would even try to fight back, but of course your boyfriends had to save your ass and rip him limb-from-limb. You really oughtta learn your place, bitch," he reamed.

"Why don't we just kill her? We get caught and we'll end up the same way," one of them called out.

"Naw, we won't, but I wanna send a message before we go, to those snobby upper demons, thinking they can just kill anyone who defies them," the one holding your hair replied with a bone-chilling smile.

---

Lucifer and Diavolo had checked every room imaginable at RAD, only to come up empty-handed. They tried to remain calm, but both had a sinking feeling in their bodies about where you could've gone. Even your scent leading out of Diavolo's office was long gone. Diavolo explained to Lucifer what had transpired in his office, and how you probably just went to be alone.

The two were walking along in the gardens trying to come up with every place on campus that you would have access to.

"The library?" Diavolo asked.

"Checked, nothing. Cafeteria?" Lucifer replied.

"Nothing," Diavolo replied.

"Would the colosseum be open? Wasn't there an event today?" Lucifer pondered aloud.

"It shouldn't be open, but we can check before we try somewhere else," Diavolo replied.

As the two drew closer, the coppery smell of blood hung heavy in the air near the entrance of the colosseum, and the main doors were left open. They both dashed inside, to see you laying on the ground in the center of the ring, laying on your side and back to them.

Rushing over to you, they saw in red letters written behind your back "Royal Slut," presumably in your blood. Lucifer stopped and immediately called for Satan and Mammon to get over to the colosseum, nary giving them the reason why except for Satan to bring his med kit.

Diavolo came around and knelt down in front of you. Your face was downturned, so he couldn't quite see it. But what immediately got his attention was the giant laceration across your right shin, exposing the bone that was clearly broken, snapped completely in two. Blood sullied your torn uniform, and when he moved the hair away from your face and turned so that he could see you properly, there were more cuts around your hairline and jaw, leading him to see the dark rings around your neck.

The scents of multiple demons were on you, that much Diavolo could tell, but not who exactly. He carefully pulled you into his arms and sat back on his rear. You looked like a mangled ragdoll with your arm just hanging off of his arm that cradled you against him, legs twisted, and your head had to be supported into the crook of his elbow. He smoothed your hair back, blankly looking over your features.

Lucifer finally approached; his face plastered with despair at the sight of you. Falling to his knees, he felt all his emotions bubbling within his chest, unsure of which he could appropriately express in this moment. He grazed a finger against your cheek.

"I... can't keep going like this," is all Diavolo could say. There was silence for a while as the two looked at you. Your breaths were so light, and your pulse was faint, but you were still there.

"I want to make her into a demon," Diavolo finally stated, still looking over your face.

"What?" Lucifer was taken aback. "But does she want it?"

"I'm not sure. I don't know if she understands the process either, but I'm going to offer it to her," Diavolo replied solemnly.

"And if she says no?" Lucifer probed.

Diavolo was silent then. He couldn't even fathom thinking if you would say no, because at the present moment, all he could think about was getting you to wake up.

"I just want her to know I love her," Diavolo whispered.

Satan and Mammon finally arrived after Diavolo's words, and it was all they could do to not fly into fits of unadulterated rage as you lay limp, like a corpse, in the prince's arms.

Mammon dropped to the ground in anguish, slamming his fist into the floor. His sobs echoed through the colosseum, a haunting sound you would shudder to hear.

Satan dropped down to the floor near your feet, immediately looking over your broken leg. "It's a clean break, I'll have to set it, but I can fix it," he said, mostly to himself as the other two were too busy just staring at your lifeless face. "Diavolo, I need her on her back so I can have her legs straight. She may wake up when I set it, so you need to hold her down. Lucifer, go see to Mammon," Satan ordered.

Lucifer, feeling as though he were on autopilot, got to his feet, and went to Mammon. He explained to Mammon they needed to scour the area to figure out who did this and if there's a way to track them down.

Diavolo opted to pull your back up to his chest, in between his legs that laid flat out on either side of you. Satan straightened your bottom half out and prepared to set your leg.

"Please hold on to her," Satan whispered.

With a firm grip, he forced the break back into place with two shudder-inducing snaps, and the piercing scream that erupted from your throat abruptly was so blood curdling, Lucifer and Mammon looked at you in horror. Diavolo held you and still tried to console you. The pain was so overwhelming you passed back out. The Demon Lord clutched you tighter as he tried to fight back his tears, and Satan began to finish up his work on your leg. The Morningstar couldn't move for a moment, temporarily paralyzed by what he heard, but eventually broke his trance. Lucifer left with Mammon, and they hunted down the scent of the demons that mauled you.

Satan went to his feet after he was finished. "I'm going to go see Solomon for some potions, and then I'll call up Simeon for his help."

Diavolo stood as he held you, bridal style, and he nodded to Satan as his thanks. In his demon form, Diavolo flew back to his castle.

Wordlessly, he took you to your suite, not even greeting Barbatos or filling him in on your situation. But, even so, Barbatos could gather a lot of information just based on his master's reaction and your state, so he immediately worked on tea and preparations for your stay.

Diavolo placed you ever so gently onto your bed. He looked you over and decided to put you into clean clothes. Carefully, he undressed you, and rage boiled in his heart as he saw the blooms of red and purple on your waist and stomach. Discarding your old clothes, he dressed you into fine silk pajamas.

"I'll be right back," he whispered into your hair, kissing your forehead. He quickly left to change his own clothes that were covered in your dried blood.

Upon his return, he found Barbatos holding a tray, just staring at you. It was rare to see his butler in such a state, broken of his usual smooth and methodic movements. Barbatos radiated anger and sadness but wouldn't show it on his face.

"Barbatos," Diavolo rasped. Instantly, breaking his trance of your form, the butler set the tea tray down on a table and approached his master. "Find out who did this, now," he ordered. Barbatos bowed and left.

Diavolo slid into the bed, sitting up against the headboard, and pulled you back into his arms. He situated your head to prop up against his upper arm, his bicep as a pillow for you. Leaning his own head against the headboard, he stared at the ceiling. He focused his attention on your pulse, slow and weak. You were with him, but just barely so.

Hours went by like that, and your prince refused to move from his spot or have you removed from his arms. Barbatos informed him who had hurt you, and it was taken care of by the Avatars of Sin. Though he would have liked to punish them himself, staying by your side was most important.

Thank you for reading <3

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Likes and reblogs appreciated.

Masterlist

[bontenten]

The Choosing

Pairing: Daichi x f!reader (ft. Captain Squad <3 and Sakusa)

WC: 3.2k

Genre/Warnings: Crack/Bad Humor, Smut, Romance, Reverse Harem, Royalty AU!, mention or hints of size kink, exhibitionism, creampie, breeding kink, dick and ball worship, you’re perverted and gross

Summary: You are the Princess of the Kingdom of YoreNaym and you need to choose a husband.

Repost from my main because I say so. Lee... :gru: i miss u

Also, no beta we die like Daichi.

It’s a tradition carried through many, many generations that the daughters of nobility from the Kingdom of YoreNaym must choose a suitor from the eligible bachelors from the neighboring kingdoms. It’s a show of kinship to the other kingdoms and also a means of securing peace.

At some point, everyone’s sister’s cousin’s second uncle’s sworn brother’s adopted daughter’s nephew twice-removed will be related and connect back to the Kingdom of YoreNaym. In short, the blood of this kingdom’s daughters unite the lands. No incest, there’s enough genetic diversity, if you will. And because you are also a princess of this kingdom, it’s your turn. Yay.

While growing up, you hear the elders say that the youngsters should be grateful that they have the agency to at least pick a suitor. They spin their looms and cackle, reminiscing that, “Back in our days, we didn’t get to have a choice. Our elders appointed a spouse for us from whichever kingdom had a suitor. Unlike you girls who get to choose, ungrateful wenches…”

Does it really matter? It’s just the false pretense of choice, isn’t it? At the end of the day the selection of eligible bachelors are all chosen ahead of time, deemed worthy, and then after the initial picking, you are just allowed to pick. It doesn’t matter who you choose, any one of them will fit the criteria. Maybe you’ll just close your eyes and pick one randomly. Can you actually say, “I’ll choose my own hand and marry myself.”

That’s pretty brave, hell yea that’s a main character move right there. Speaking of which, who are the eligible bachelors you can choose from today? It’s practically your engagement day, yet you really haven’t been paying any attention at all.

“Hey,” you whisper, lifting the curtain of the palanquin. A maid quickly answers to your beckon.

“Yes, my lady?”

“Who are the candidates today again? You have a...list or brochure of sorts?”

“Just a moment, my lady, I’ll retrieve the scroll for you.”

You open the scroll and peruse the contents. Huh, all the neighboring kingdoms are going all out this year. There’s the Kingdoms of Nekoma, Inarizaki, Fukurodani, Aoba Johsai, Shiratorizawa...Wow, even Johzenji and Nohebi have candidates? Funny, all of these are all presenting their crown princes too. As they should, you are the most beloved princess of the Kingdom of YoreNaym, and the suitor you choose will bring you back as a blessing to his kingdom. It’s a total bummer that the Kingdom of Itachiyama isn’t participating this year. Sakusa’s crown prince succession is next year! You have heard so many swoon worthy stories about that princeling, even paid handsome amounts of money for paparazzi paintings of the beautiful man. No one will find out that the princess of YoreNaym actually hoards little pictures of Prince Sakusa in her panties drawers. It’s a shame you aren’t picking your husband next year.

There’s one more Kingdom on the list that surprises you. Kingdom of Karasuno, or more commonly referred to as the Kingdom of “Fallen Crows”. According to legends, they used to be quite a prosperous kingdom, but after a few generations of inept leadership, a drought, and poor trade economy...the Kingdom has mostly faded into obscurity. It’s been years since a suitor candidate has been offered. So who is it?

“Sawamura Daichi,” you whisper to yourself, “Interesting.”

The festival ground outdoors is especially grand. There are a huge number of tables prepared off to the side for guests. Trays of food, fruits and wine are provided for every single guest in attendance. You are led by the attendants to the temporary throne seat as the guest of honor. As you make your way to the throne, all the guests stand up to acknowledge your entrance. It’s so pressuring and a part of you wishes you can just dig a hole and bury yourself on the spot. You don’t even want to think about how many eyes are on you. They are all just jealous because, really. Take my word for it, I’m the narrator.

When you take a seat, the guests reseat themselves. A shaman comes to the center stage and bows to you.

“My lady, the time is auspicious, let us commence the Festival of Unity. At this time, I’ll be introducing the eligible bachelors from neighboring kingdoms near and far. They have passed the arduous tests and come as the best to offer in asking for your hand. Each of the suitors will present to you with a talent or skill, as to show you their excellence. After the demonstrations, you will be allowed to take your pick. Whereupon you will—”

“Okay, I get it! They will participate in a talent show, we clap, and I choose a husband, I got it!” You snap, cutting the shaman’s words off. Your patience is wearing thin.

A number of guests can be heard mumbling in the crowds, probably commenting on your behavior. Your eyes scan the guests, you can care less. Judgmental eyes, scheming eyes, lecherous eyes, disgusting eyes....Your gaze meeting with a pair of eyes that are absolutely blank. Wait, not blank as in emotionless. Non-judgemental? The opposite of unkind? Dare you say, polite? He gives you a smile and returns to taking a sip from his goblet. You scan his clothing up and down to look for his family crest. Black and orange. A crow. Karasuno.

Your thoughts are jumbled as an increasing amount of questions fill your mind. He? Karasuno? That Kingdom of Fallen Crows? You barely hear the shaman announce the first candidate.

“Bokuto Koutarou from Kingdom of Fukurodani.” Bokuto is a very large, very well built man. He is wearing his family crest of an owl across his back proudly. You can tell his chest is incredibly broad, the bulge of his big tiddies stretch the tight shirt he’s in. If you squint hard enough, you can maybe see the outline of his nipples through the training shirt, but maybe that’s just your perverted imagination too. Bokuto comes to the center stage and greets you.

“Hey! I’ll uh, demonstrate my strength to you, my lady.” He easily picks up a huge hunk of metal and lifts it with ease above his head. Damn beefiness, those arms of his. Seeing the bulges flex when he flexes has you dreaming of mouth along that delicious flesh. And when he pins you down under his massive body? Ooh, if this is the first demonstration, you’re excited to see the whole lineup today. Gasps and murmurs can be heard in the crowd. Bokuto grins and drops the load on the ground. You can almost feel the tremors beneath your feet. Truly, a herculean feat.

“Thank you, Bokuto, I have seen your demonstration and all those here are witnesses.”

Bokuto’s demonstration is a showy start of the competition for your hand. The shaman announces the next candidate. “Ushijima Wakatoshi from the Kingdom of Shiratorizawa.”

Ushijima walks up to the stage exuding the regal aura of nobility; a byproduct of his strict upbringing. The twin crests of an eagle decorate his shoulder pads. His expression is quite cold, but there’s a saying, “it’s always the quiet ones.” You lick your lips and study him some more.

“Greeting to the princess,” he says with a deep bow. “I also bring a demonstration of my martial prowess.” Ushijima takes off the bow and quiver of arrows from his back and nods at his attendant who then catapults three apples high up into the air. Everyone’s eyes follow the  trajectory of the objects, squinting to see what’s happening. No way.

Ushijima draws the bow back and calmly shoots one arrow, perfectly spearing the three fruits along the shaft. The crowd bursts into cheers. You also find your tight grip on armrest loosening, the tension from the scene dissipating in a moment. Ushijima’s calmness, accuracy, decision-making...he would make a very suitable partner for sure. Co-workers of sorts, that is.

You know your marriage carries a lot of weight politically and the fate of the whole universe will rest on your decision. Maybe not the whole universe, but close enough. But, marital bliss is important too right? Is Ushijima the right choice? There are still many more candidates, it’ll be best not to make a rash decision. Your gaze wanders over back to the Karasuno prince who is clapping earnestly for Ushijima’s performance. He’s acknowledging a rival’s strength, you think to yourself. Well, that’s certainly a rare but admirable trait. A confident man, he is.

After Ushijima’s demonstration, Oikawa Tooru’s enchanting musical performance offers a much desired change of pace. The rhythm and melody from his zither carries both the energy of fortitude as well as a graceful spirit. Quite stunning, but just not quite the musical vibe you’re feeling at the moment. Bummer, maybe a different day, really. Could be friends?

Kuroo Tetsurou from the Kingdom of Nekoma offers a particularly memorable performance too. Kuroo comes to the center stage with a trough filled with flames. Everyone is at a loss as to what is going on. Kuroo flashes you a grin before taking out a few pouches containing some powders. In a poof, the flames burst alive with colors blending blues and purples. And moments later yellows and greens, even reds. No one has ever seen fire change color like so.

“Witchcraft!” someone gasps.

“No it must be alchemy. Dangerous craft,” another adds.

Kuroo bows to you. “My lady, this is called chemistry, a discipline of science.”

Kuroo’s smiles teeter on the edge of flirtations and you cannot deny that your heart flutters just slightly when you see his crooked grin. He’s intelligent, humorous, and attractive. Definitely also a contender. A union with him might be fun. And especially when you see Kuroo run a hand through his messy, black locks and give you a piercing gaze, you almost wonder if this is the feeling of chemistry. It feels like you are naked under his seductive, golden eyes, completely submitted to his will and absolutely drugged. And you fear that if he sends you another one of his grins, you’ll come untouched. Dangerous, send him off immediately.

“Thank you, Kuroo, I have seen your demonstration and all those here are witnesses.”

After Kuroo, many more candidates also come to the center stage for their demonstrations. Kita Shinsuke from the Kingdom of Inarizaki composes and recites poetry on the spot. His literary talents and mastery of public speech move a very large crowd of the literati officials. Kita is a charismatic leader and commands confidence. But he doesn’t seem to be the best fit. Your brain says ‘yes’, but your coochie just isn’t feeling it. The nerve signals say no.

Terushima Yuuji demonstrates a one-man comedy show, but his storytelling skills, although humorous, fall just a little short after Kita’s. Had Terushima been slotted for a different position, perhaps he would make a stronger impact.

Daishou Suguru. Interesting. But tongue itself will eventually get boring too.

A few more candidates demonstrate their talents to you. Most of them fail to impress you at all. Your blank expression is more than enough to make a few almost shit their pants or cry on the way they exit the stage. It’s really not their fault, you’re just a bit tired after seeing so many performances and demonstrations. You are just trying to find the best fit after all. It’s your duty and responsibility as the muthereffing princess of the Kingdom of YoreNaym.

“Sawamura Daichi from the Kingdom of Karasuno.”

The crowd is silent as Daichi stands up from his seat and makes his way to the center. His shoulder is relaxed and his head is held high. He doesn’t have the large build of Bokuto nor is he decked out in regal fabrics like Ushijima. His hair is simple and clean. His expression is polite and pleasant. Amongst the sea of beautiful and talented men, Daichi is like an ordinary seashell buried in the sand. But like how too many bites of dessert beckon the simplicity of water, Daichi’s humble presence makes him stand out in particular.

Daichi bows deeply. “I send my deepest regards to the princess. I am Sawamura Daichi from the Kingdom of Karasuno.”

“Please rise, Sawamura. What demonstration do you bring to me today?”

“My lady, I have nothing showy in particular. I only bring myself. And please feel free to call me Daichi.” You can feel his piercing gaze on you, confident and assertive. So he has some guts. It beckons you to submit, but you bite back. Grrrrr.

“Just yourself? That’s quite cocky of you Daichi. Others bring talents and demonstrations of qualities that make them fit as my suitor. What do you have to offer for me to choose you? Or is that something you are not looking for at all?”

“Karasuno,” Daichi begins, “Karasuno is a good kingdom. For many years long ago, our people have suffered greatly and we have gained a poor moniker. However, for the last few years, the kingdom has made significant progress and improvements. Alongside my brethren and officers of my court,” Daichi gestures to his entourage sitting off to the side, “We have come a long way. ”

“You tell me much about your home, Daichi, but what about you?”

Daichi pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts. He is well aware of the pressures you are putting on him, testing his convictions to the limit. You are a princess after all, so it’s only natural that you test his qualifications. Diachi swallows his nerves and faces your confrontation head on.

“I come to tell you the truth, my lady. I cannot hide these facts about myself or my kingdom. I am truthful, honest, but I have an unshaken belief that my kingdom will prosper because I have my closest and trusted with me. Each of them have their talents and strengths. Karasuno is a band with a bit of everything, and we’re family.”

You inwardly sigh. It seems like Daichi won’t be completely living up your hopes. At first you thought that his confident yet humble demeanor must hide something. Something incredible, because he can sit back and freely applaud other men for their talents. Something remarkable because he doesn’t feel the need to jump out in front of others. Something big. Very big.

“I don’t doubt your family’s bond or strength, but I am here to choose a suitor, a husband in layman's terms. So, I suppose that—”

“Wait,” Daichi cries out, and gestures towards his Karasuno brethren.

A tangerine head jumps up and brings out a scroll. He skips a few steps towards you and passes the document over to the shaman who brings it to you.

“My resume, if you will, my lady. I have no other talents but what is shown there.”

You glance at Daichi, studying him closely. From his clenched fist, you can tell that even in this moment, he’s a bit shaken and nervous. You undo the ties on the scroll and unravel the contents.

All eyes are fixed on you, trying to decipher every microexpression you make. The slight widened eyes, the twitch of the brow. The slight part of the lips and the deep breathes from you trying to calm the invisible fire that’s building in your core. It’s big. If the resume is accurate, Daichi’s demeanor truly is hiding a beast. A massive, humongous, schlong. Finer than any specimen you have seen in banned pictorial books you read and hide under your massive princess bed.

The sheer size and girth of the XL 2d image is rendered in X-TRA fine detail. You brush a finger onto the parchment, tracing the lines depicting the veins running along the shaft. You gulp, rubbing your finger down what is drawn as a big, swollen tip that’s glistening. Artists these days are so detail-oriented, it looks as if precum is just dripping from the tip and shimmering. So realistic, you just want to take it all into your mouth. To gag or to choke. Neither are a question.

The balls, those massive balls that are the storehouses for an endless supply of fresh cum. Organics from the finest the kingdom has to offer. Precious jewels hanging at the base, ripe for your licking. It looks so juicy and plump and you want nothing more than to rub your cheeks, cooing at how cute they are.

You know it’s good. It better be good if the painting is depicting something this sumptuous. If this is the real deal, then you really have nailed the jackpot and secured a brilliant future for yourself. Marital bliss. Bedroom adventures. Bedroom adventures where he’ll fulfill every nightmarish fantasy you ever have. It’ll be hard at first, your cunt’s so tight and he’s so big! But it’s okay, you’ll take him like the royal princess you are because the Kingdom of YoreNaym raises whores and sluts only!

No scratch that. Coital activities can take place anywhere. Maybe you’ll cockwarm him while the two of you hear what the morning court has to say about the affairs of the kingdom. Maybe you’ll find yourself tumbling around in the garden after a cute game of hide and seek, skirt hiked up, as he fucks a grass stain into your back! Okay. That might not be the best idea. Perhaps just once. For novelty’s sake.

But hear me out, when you are sneaking into the kitchen for some snacks, he’ll pin you on the large baker’s table and just take you right there to fuck his babies into your womb. His cock pumping into you as the table creaks and shakes from his thunderous movements. He’ll fill you to the brim with copious amounts of his hot cum, heaps and heaps of them, just like the baker fills the buns with cream custard in the most obscene fashion ever. Watch your belly rise and bulge up like pastries in the oven. Oooh cummies.

You sigh and squirm in the seats as you continue examining the masterpiece of a dick. You feel your heartbeat racing wildly as if you are caught tinkling in the castle fountain. It’s unknown if you ever did that, by the way. Just saying, your memory is failing you just a tad. But oh gosh, you’re wet already. The slick pooling between your folds is just soaking through your princess panties; the ones in the drawer where you keep all your secret prince Sakusa drawings heehee. But Sakusa’s pretty face aside, you are now face to face with the most magnificent dick pic you’ll ever receive. Not really unsolicited, but damn work of art. Literally.

The crowd is silent when you clear your throat and roll up the scroll, taking extra care to not let anyone else touch your new precious treasure. You lean forward and perceive Daichi. Daichi gives you a cocky grin, showing his teeth. Slightly stained with the wine, but it’s just temporary. It doesn’t matter as long as the real deal is...well, real.

Daichi catches your eyes wandering to the outline of the bulge between his legs. The glorious dickprint that he’s casually showing to everyone present. It puts Herculean Bokuto to shame, Ushijima into a blushing mess. Kuroo nearly snorts his colored powders. Daishou’s tongue hangs out and dries. Oikawa is sent to the medics. Kita no longer waxes poetry about the weather. Terushima leaves the party early.

Daichi is smug and casually asks, “My lady, would you like to examine the goods? I am a pure man and would not carelessly offer tastes to anyone. But you are a princess of the Kingdom of YoreNaym. You can have a sampling before you commit. Satisfaction guaranteed.”

[fernrisulfr]

Theoren Firemane

My second attempt at a Cleric. I once again ended up with a dead Cleric. This time it was definitely my fault. He was a Leonine that spoke with a thick Scottish accent I’d practiced thoroughly, and he entered into the game playing Scotland the Brave. This was for a Curse of Strahd Campaign. Because these are characters I actually used, there are occasionally additional notes relevant to how the game played out. 

Theoren died at the hands of two Needle Blights, trying to save a party member’s adopted NPC. Forgot I’d taken Meta Magic as a feat and risked two op attacks to try and cast Spare the Dying. 

Theoren Firemane (Cleric 4 - Deceased)

Concept: Leonin - Cleric (Nature - Nobanion) Neutral/Good - Far Traveler

Pride From: Theros, then transported to Shining Plains (Faerun) Deity: Nobanion. (Less worship, more an "alliance" with his people).

Personalty Trait - - Determined - Prideful - Kind - Quick to act

Likes - - Meat - Nature - Rain

Dislikes - - Evil - People who break their word

Habits - - Cat Habits (including emotive tail) - Hand talker - Walking into a room first.

Misc - - Plagued by feelings of inadequacy. - Out to prove his worth.

Questions- - Have you seen any Leonine - Ask Silence about her God - Ask Holly what she thinks of Nature - Ask Reena what she thinks a god is. - Ask Luscius about Planar Magic - Ask Luscius about the Lanturn. -

- IMPORTANT: Theoren has realized the Annise Hag is the little girl. She almost died. This means that the conflict he kicked off almost killed the person he was trying to save because he didn't find out more information before hand.

Pride Notes: - Matriach is Speaker Gera Firemane - Pride has crossed worlds and planes multiple times since arriving in the Shining Plains, but has yet to find a clear path to Theros. - The Firemane Pride does not consist completely of Leonin, as they have allowed Tabaxi and Wemics that prove worthy to join them. - Clerics not chosen as Prideseekers maintain typical cleric duties. Training acolytes, teaching children, tending to the sick or injured, and helping out among the pride.

Backstory Used: Centuries ago, the Prides once supporting the Tyrant Archons were exiled to the plain of Oreskos in Theros. Yet this would not be the last time some of these prides would be cast out from their homes. For reasons unkown, a collection of smaller prides found themselves deposited in the world of Toril, in the Shining Plains of Faerun. Stranded in a land they did not know, the Leonin were forced to overcome their ancient distrust of other races and search of aid. They found it in the Wemics, and in the primal spirit Nobanion.

Once considered an outsider like them, the lesser deity did all he was able to help the Leonin establish themselves in this world. In time the prides developed an alliance with the Wemics, and with Nobanion himself. In honour of this, and of the Leonin's unification into a single pride, they took on the name Firemane.

From this alliance a new group was formed, one to pursue the desires of both sides. Known as the Prideseekers, they would go out into the world in search of a path back to Theros, and reach out to any Leonin they managed to locate. To aid them in this quest, each would receive the blessing of Nobanion himself, and in turn all he asked was that they aid anyone they could along the way.

Every few years the pride's Matriach, the Speaker, would select a handful of clerics to go out into the world as Prideseekers. Theoren is one such cleric; or at least he had long wanted to be. After completing his training and being ordained, he was certain it would not be long before he was chosen for this honor. Yet it never came. Over a decade passed, and not once was he among those selected. Theoren was not the strongest among them, nor the smartest or most nimble; but he was capable! They let Gaulbriel go! Gaulbriel! And he didn't even come back! May his soul rest in the golden fields, but many could have seen that coming! So why was he left behind?

One evening in particular, Theoren decide he'd had enough. Gathering the equipment he used for training, and what little he owned, the Leonin departed in the dead of night. As he left a warmth built in his chest, filling him with a surge of courage and vigor. Nobanion had given his blessing; clearly that meant he was on the right path. Clearly...else the Diety was trying to save him from his own foolishness...

When Theoren received word from Chillgrave Fortress, it took little convincing. In many ways the order and their cause seemed ideal. He could defend others from that which lurked in the dark, all while searching for other Leonin out on the frontier and beyond. Perhaps investigating the mist would even yield clues on how to reach Theros; or at least another world with it's own hints to the path home.  

Appearance: 6′7, 300 lbs, Gold Eyes. His fur and mane were a cream colour. Like that sort of cream where if you rub it the wrong way it looks flecked with brown. He had a scar over the bridge of his snout. He wore bronze scale mail, and an emerald green cloak. For weapons he had a braided quarterstaff and a shield. 

A member of the party was an artist, and I was going to commission her to draw him, but while we were working things out (and I got a little ahead of myself which is my fault) Theoren perished so we cancelled. These were some of the reference images I was using. 

[yandearest]

May The Odds Be Ever in Your Favor (Hoseok x Reader Hunger Games AU) Chapter 7: Natural Born Killers

Summary - Living in District 4 you never thought you would  have to worry about being selected for the Hunger Games. With a training  centre right near the dock of the houseboat you lived and fished from,  your district was known for volunteers who trained their whole lives for  a shot at glory and riches. But at age 18, your name is called and no  girls volunteer to take your place. Your devastation is answered when  Kim Namjoon volunteers for the males shortly after. Tall, muscular,  highly intelligent and charming, the years of diligent preparation have  bestowed Namjoon with the expectation of being the next District 4  champion after Finnick Odair last won 3 years ago.

Fishing for a  living has granted you skills with a knife but, as your mentor Finnick  is quick to describe, your beautiful face may well be your best asset.

Upon arrival in the Capitol you are quickly faced with the reality that  Namjoon may not even be the biggest danger inside the Arena. Especially  when you capture the obsessive attention of District 2′s own volunteer,  and killing machine, Jung Hoseok. Hope soon fades from ‘survival’ to  ‘the mercy of a painless death’ but Hoseok certainly has other plans.

Pairing - Hoseok x (fem)Reader

Genre - thriller, angst, yandere

Word Count 9.5K

Warning: This chapter is very heavy with multiple deaths described in detail.

PLEASE AVOID READING IF YOU CONSIDER THIS CONTENT UPSETTING

The following is a dark fic featuring a yandere character, violence, obsession, and coercion. By no means does  writing about this in a fictional setting condone any of those  behaviours, much like Stephen King writing horror doesn’t mean he  approves of psychotic killers in reality. Please avoid reading if any of  these warnings makes you uncomfortable.

Previous Chapter: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 , 6

Cross posted on A03 so people can subscribe for updates/notifications

You had remained with the girl’s body after her canon sounded. The momentary adrenaline rush from killing her attacker had faded and you were filled with despair at the sight of her lifeless eyes. It was strange how little guilt you were feeling, you had just killed someone – something you never thought you could actually do. Even though what he was about to do to the girl was disgusting, you were expecting to feel some sense of remorse over taking another life, but yet there was none. You remembered Hoseok’s vicious attack on seven from yesterday and shuddered, did you have more in common with him than you wanted to admit?

‘No.’ You shook your head, arguing with yourself. ‘He’s a monster, he took pleasure in his kill. I killed to protect someone else… But didn’t Hoseok kill to protect you?’

Disturbed by your conflicting emotions you hit your head against trunk of the tree, begging for the thoughts to leave your head. It was too much to try and process right now, especially with the girl’s body lying on the ground next to you. The impact on your skull and the rough bark grazing against your forehead provided a welcome distraction from your inner monologue.

For a moment, you thought that a whirring noise was coming from the ringing in your head, until you felt a blustering wind, along with surrounding leaves and twigs beginning to lift from the ground. Confused, you scrambled away from the girl and over to your bag. Shouldering the straps, you whipped your head around trying to see what the cause could possibly be, as the wind and whirring sound only grew stronger.

With nothing abnormal around you, you turned your gaze upwards to see an airship hovering just above the trees. A door along the bottom opened, and a large metal claw slowly began to lower through the leaves, knocking several branches out of the way. You stumbled backwards, not wanting to get in its way, and watched with sick fascination as the claw reached the boy. It hovered for a few seconds, getting its bearings, before the metallic arms began to retract. The gears whirred as they clasped around the body, some digging into the dirt below him, before they formed a tight grip with a sealed clunk. And then the claw was moving upwards, the thick cord retracting until it disappeared into the ship above.

It was such an odd sight, such an inhumane way to treat a dead child (‘the dead child you had just killed’). You just stood there staring, until the claw reappeared at the door, once again empty. You looked over to the girl’s body, regretfully knowing she would be taken next. But there was nothing you could do for her. You didn’t know if the airship could be giving away your location, or whether the other tributes would think to run in the opposite direction, but you didn’t want to stay and find out. Securing your bag, you turned your back and ran.

 *

 Two hours later it was difficult to see the sun through the leaves above, which made it hard to try and navigate. You were starting to run low on water and you had an idea to try and get to the edge of the pool behind the cornucopia, closer to the waterfall. Your idea was basically that people who wanted supplies would go to the cornucopia itself and those trying to run away would have gone in the opposite direction. If you could sneak along the edge of the forest, maybe you could reach the fall and stay hidden. Your plan had worked well, after finding where the edge of the forest neared the river, you had stayed hidden in the trees and made your way in the direction of the waterfall. When the cornucopia came into sight, you took a longer detour back inland through the trees, not wanting to risk coming into contact with any tributes who might be hiding so close to supplies.

You knew you were getting close when the sound of crashing water began to get louder, and more rocks started appearing in your path. A canon sounding very close by caused you to jump and momentarily forget your plan. Looking around you had to be at the cliff that would take you up towards the top of the fall. Remembering the careers from yesterday, you knew you definitely didn’t want to keep going in that direction. The noise of the canon seemed to have come from further inside the forest, close to where you had been walking through only moments ago. Climbing up the cliff wasn’t an option, and neither was staying in this part of the woods, so the waterfall remained your target. You let the noise of the water guide you and continued to made your way over – the surface becoming increasingly rockier the closer that you got.

The cornucopia came into view, in all of its temptation. It was across the other side of the rocks that you were traversing. It was less filled than yesterday; however, you could still spot an array of supplies scattered around. For the first time you felt your stomach rumble and you longed to run across and raid it for some of the fruit that you could see. But it was far too out in the open to be worth the risk. So, you continued towards the fall.

The closer you came, the more you were left in awe by the design of its structure. The rocks became harder to climb over, but you realized that they went behind the pounding curtain of water, into a cave. You were apprehensive. It was such a brilliant hiding spot, but being so close to the cornucopia you felt like another tribute had to have found it by now. However, someone could only have seen it if they had chosen to come closer to the fall, rather than the cornucopia, which wasn’t necessarily an expected move.

You didn’t want to take any chances, and pulled your knife out from your pocket, just to be extra careful. Doing your best to balance, and stay hidden between the large rocks, you slowly made your way closer to the water’s edge. Once there you crouched down, repeatedly checking behind your back to make sure no one was trying to sneak up on you, and filled up your container. Once full, you put the cap on and then began to try and scrub off the lingering traces of blood that were staining your hands.

It was as you were finishing up that you spotted a moving figure through a crack between the rocks, in the direction of the woods. You sprung to your feet and quickly hid behind the closest rock. Making sure to check behind your shoulder first (in case anyone was trying to sneak up on you whilst you were distracted), you peered out from behind the boulder to see your worst fear – Hoseok and Namjoon working together.

You spun back around, your back hitting the rock, as you pressed yourself against surface. They definitely hadn’t seen you yet as they were moving towards the cornucopia and neither of them had been looking over in your area. You recalled the canon from before and instantly knew it had to be their work. Your heart was racing and a tightness was beginning to seize across your chest making it harder to breathe. You wished you could somehow melt into the rock and hide inside until these games were over, but you knew it wasn’t a realistic option. Staying outside here would be far too risky with them so close by. The forest wasn’t safe as they would very likely see you if you tried to run back now. Your best option was the cave behind the fall, as it was surrounded with large rocks for cover, and neither of them seemed to know of its existence. The possibility of another tribute being inside no longer scared you when the two worst tributes in the arena were so close by.

Using the rocks as a shield, you scrambled the last remaining meters to the fall. Once safe behind the curtain of raging water you stood in awe of the size of the cave within. The boulders from outside seemed to morph into smoother steps that lead upwards and further inside the cliff structure. There was still no sign of any other life inside, but you kept a firm grip on your knife in case of any hidden attacks. The higher you climbed, the drier the rock below your boots became. With the waterfall keeping you hidden from the outside, you deliberately allowed your footsteps to echo throughout the cave in order to alert anyone inside. You weren’t here to fight.

When you reached the top of the rock steps you found a smooth plateau and the first sign of life. There was a makeshift camp of a few supplies – a sleeping bag, a pot, and flint – set up around the ashes of an extinguished fire. The coals still had a faint tinge of orange, so someone still had to be close by.

“Hello… Is anyone here?”

You called out, but were only met with the sound of your voice bouncing back off the walls.

The sleeping bag looked like it had some sort of shape underneath it, so you slowly walked over, wondering if anyone was still inside. You didn’t want to come off as threatening, but you also weren’t stupid enough to approach someone without a weapon, so you hid your knife behind your back.

“I’m [Y/N] from Four, I ran away from the careers. Two and Four are at the cornucopia now.”

The closer you moved towards the bag, the darker the cave became, but you could still faintly make out some sort of shape. You frowned, why wasn’t the person responding to you?

“Please, I’m just want to hide,” you lowered your voice as you reached the bag.

“I promise I don’t want to hurt you.”

You tapped at the bag with your foot but were met with a hard feeling beneath your toe.

Rocks?

 A trap

 Leaping away from the sleeping bag, you narrowly dodged the swing of a machete from a figure hiding in the shadows by less than an inch.

“But I want to hurt you”

The voice of your attacker was feminine, but you had no idea who the person is.

“Are you fucking crazy, I’m trying to offer you an alliance against the careers,” you swore as you shuffled backwards, trying to put some distance between yourself and your opponent.

“No thanks. I had one until your boyfriend killed him…” The girl continued to follow you, and as she steps further into the light, you recognize her from District 7

“…And I’d like to return the favor.”

She swung the machete again, and you narrowly ducked with a shriek, rolling towards the edge of the plateau. You just managed to catch yourself from rolling off the edge, but before you could get to your feet, Seven charged at you with another swing of her blade.

You brought your knife up to block it, which she clearly didn’t expect. She’s too stunned by the fact you stopped her attack to block your leg that kicked up and into her stomach. She hunched over and gasped, barely keeping her grip on her weapon after having the wind knocked out of her. You didn’t give her the opportunity to catch her breath. There was no time for guilt or doubt as you thrust your knife upwards. It sunk in between her ribs with a broken scream, causing her to finally release her grip on the machete. It clattered to the ground beside you as you pulled your knife out.

She was still alive, her hands pressing against the bleeding wound as she stood above you. The previous sight of your would-be-killer is gone, replaced by a scared girl who knows she’s going to die. You can’t exactly blame her for trying to kill you – after all your alliance tortured her district member – but there’s no point in feeling sorry for her now. The best you could do is give her a faster death than her partner. Getting to your feet, you stabbed her again, this time in the stomach. She made a strangled gurgle, coughing up blood as you ripped your knife back out. She moved to try and grab for the machete, but stumbled over her feet and instead slipped off the edge of the plateau.

You looked over the side with morbid curiosity, to see her body had landed amongst the rocky water at the bottom. The pool below is a violent mess of currents created from the waterfall and you watched as her body was quickly pulled under to the sound of a canon.

 *

 “I’m almost disappointed by how easy this has been,” Namjoon commented as he picked up a small sack of rice and tossed it into the water. Since disposing of Krystal, the duo hadn’t so much as seen a trace from another tribute on their way to the cornucopia. They had arrived with ease and quickly finished stocking both their backpacks with food items. It was when they discovered there would still be plenty left for other tributes that Hoseok had come up with the idea of throwing whatever they couldn’t take with them into the river.

“If only [Y/N] was that easy to find,” Hoseok muttered in response. Between tossing away any food he came across, he was also searching for more arrows.

“Nothing good is ever easy, she can’t hide forever.”

*boom* 

The noise of a canon stopped them both in their place, it had sounded very close by. Namjoon looked around in a circle to see if there was any sign of an airship, whilst Hoseok suspiciously eyed the waterfall. The canon had definitely come from that direction. It was too high to see their camp up the top, but in his mind the noise had sounded closer. For a few minutes there was an uneasy silence, until he spotted something in the water.

“Over there”

Hoseok tapped Namjoon on the arm and pointed towards a figure that was emerging from the raging waters. Forgetting about throwing away food, the two moved towards the edge of the cornucopia’s rock to try and see the body. The water near the fall was a violent mess of waves, before it smoothed out into an eerily placid pool by the cornucopia rock’s edge. They watched as the body was tossed around, pulled underneath the currents, until it eventually drifted further way from the fall and resurfaced closer in their direction.

“It’s a girl,” Namjoon commented as they watched the body float closer.

It was difficult to see any details, but they could both tell the body was too big to be one of the younger tributes. There were no male tributes with hair long enough to tie into a ponytail, which gave away the fact it was a girl. With Athena having short hair, Krystal being killed earlier, and four known female tributes having died yesterday, they both mentally ran through which older females were still left in the games.

“You don’t think it could be…”

“No.”

They were both thinking the same thing, but there was no way Hoseok would allow Namjoon to say your name out loud.

It wasn’t you; it couldn’t be you. There was no way that you could have been taken from Hoseok without him feeling it inside. You were tied together and the second you left this world he would be able to feel it like a tether had snapped, right? He had no idea what he would do if you died before he was able to reach you in these games. It was a given that he would kill whoever was responsible in the most excruciating manner possible, but afterwards? Probably a rage induced rampage until he was the only person left, before killing himself. If you weren’t together with him at the end, then no one could win.

Hoseok followed the body along the rock as it drifted, until it was close enough for him to be able to reach. He could hear the sound of an approaching airship, but he had to see who it was with his own eyes first. Leaning over, he grabbed the body by its jacket and pulled it close enough for him to flip over. His sigh of relief upon seeing some insignificant nobody was audible.

“Not her,” he called to Namjoon, who had followed behind him.

“Stab wounds…” Namjoon acknowledged, nodding at the two bleeding cuts in the body. A solid incision between the ribs and a deeper wound in the stomach.

“From someone who knows how to handle a knife…"

Hoseok’s words trailed off at the end as he recalled your training in the arena. Particularly, your skill with throwing knives. The boys looked at each other, both knowing what the other was thinking. You were very close by. Looking at the waterfall where the body had appeared, there was nothing to suggest that you were around. If it weren’t for the fact that you were trying to stay away from him, Hoseok would have been proud that his girl was so good at keeping herself hidden.

“Look over there”

Hoseok’s head snapped over to the direction Namjoon was pointing at, but couldn’t see anything.

“What am I looking for?”

“The rocks. I didn’t notice before, but look how they trail behind the waterfall. I think there’s something back there… more importantly, someone.”

In an instant Hoseok was at his feet, the body below him forgotten about entirely. His bow and quiver of arrows were already on his shoulder.

“Leave the supplies here, we can come back for them when we have YN,” Hoseok instructed as he walked over to pick up some rope from the cornucopia. He doesn’t want to have to restrain you, but given you ran away it’s not like you’ve left him much choice.

Eying the rope in Hoseok’s hands and the knife in his own, a dangerous smile flashed across Namjoon’s face.

“Let’s go get our girl.”

 *

 The guilt you were wondering why you didn’t feel earlier, seemed to crash down upon you all at once. With a horrified gasp you, were hyperventilating over the reality you had now killed two people in one day. You didn’t want to, you didn’t mean to, you knew that you had to otherwise it would have been you that was dead. But it didn’t make the reality any less awful. You wondered what your father would be thinking if he was watching. He had been the one to train you with a knife in case that your name was ever called, but could he handle the reality of actually seeing you kill other kids? What about your mother? She was already dead, what if she was waiting for you to join her in peace, but you were sending other children to her instead?

You felt sick, but there wasn’t any food in your system to throw up. Instead, all you could do was dry reach and cough as you backed away from the ledge of the plateau. Maybe you should throw yourself over into the rocks to drown. You didn’t deserve to live as a killer. But then wouldn’t that make those deaths meaningless? And as selfish as it sounded, you didn’t want to die a painful death. You were scared. Scared to die, scared to suffer, scared to survive and have to live with yourself if you made it.

You crawled backwards until you felt your hand touch something soft. You flinched in surprise, looking down to see the sleeping bag from seven’s camp. It felt wrong to even consider, but you couldn’t help but think it would be a nice spot to hide out for a while. There was shelter and more importantly, warmth. You weren't exactly in the mood to return to the woods again and have to climb another tree. You shrugged your backpack off your shoulders and tried to distract your racing thoughts with the task of pulling the rocks out of the sleeping bag that seven had stuffed inside.

As you worked, you could hear the sound of rocks crunching. At first you thought it was just the sounds of the ones inside the bag as you moved them, but then you paused, and you could still hear the noise. It was hard to hear anything over the sound of the waterfall, but you had a bad feeling. You fumbled for your backpack and began to slide further backwards into the darkness of the cave.

“[Y/N]”

You feel as if your blood has turned to ice at the sound of Hoseok calling your name. How the hell could he possibly know that you were here?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…

You shuffled backwards until you hit a rock. You couldn’t see anything in the darkness around you, and you could only pray that darkness would keep you hidden from him. You curled your knees into your chest and tried to shrink yourself as small as possible, clutching onto your knife, which would be your only hope of escape if he found you up here.

“Son of a bitch!”

You flinched at the sound of Namjoon’s cursing, and felt yourself panicking. Hoseok on his own was bad enough but Namjoon with him was too much. You doubted you could take one of them in a fight, but you knew that both of them would be impossible. You didn’t know what Hoseok’s plans with you were, but you swore you would rather die on your own than find out. You might not be able to fight them both, but you still had your knife, maybe you could take yourself out on your own terms.

“What?” Hoseok barked, his voice getting closer as he began to climb the rock steps.

“Some little shit is stealing our bag.”

That caused him to pause. Whilst the careers did have some basic supplies back at their camp, because they had thrown away a lot of the other food at the cornucopia, they needed those bags.

“Go stop the prick then, I’ll meet you out there with [Y/N].”

Namjoon nodded with a pissed off frown, turning around and heading back out of the fall the same way that he came. He hated when his plans were interrupted and he was going to make whatever moron thought they could steal from him pay.

You had no idea what bags they were talking about, but felt a sliver a of relief over Namjoon leaving. At least you had a fighting chance now if Hoseok found you. You could hear the sound of Hoseok’s footsteps coming closer, as he continued to climb.

“[Y/N]~” Hoseok’s voice echoed throughout the cave as he sung out your name in a sickeningly sweet call.

“Why are you hiding from me, angel? You should know that I would never hurt you.”

His steps continued to get closer and you clasped one hand over your nose and mouth to try and muffle the sound of your breathing. You tried to breathe as slowly and quietly as humanly possible.

“If it’s over how I tortured that boy from seven, I only did that because he tried to hurt you. But if you want, I’ll make all my other kills quick and painless. I’d do anything for you.”

The sound of his footsteps reaching the plateau kept you paralyzed in fear. He was here, there was no escape anymore. You clenched your eyes shut and prayed that the darkness could keep you covered.

Hoseok’s brows furrowed as he reached the top level and saw the abandoned camp. There were visible signs of a struggle from the earlier fight, but he couldn’t see anything else. The sleeping bag was barely visible in the darkness, but he could vaguely tell there were rocks nearby and some still inside of the bag. So that dead girl had tried to set a trap, but you were too clever. Again, he felt a combination of pride and frustration. If only you weren’t so afraid of him, you would be unstoppable together.

If his vision was to go by, you weren’t here. There weren’t any rocks to hide behind and it was possible you could have run in the opposite direction than where Namjoon and himself had approached from. But why did you feel so close? He narrowed his eyes and tried to squint further into the darkness, how deep did that cave go? Could you possibly be hiding in plain sight?

He pursed his lips, preparing to walk closer before the sound of a canon stopped him in his tracks.

 *

 Yoongi was in a bad mood.

After his argument with Krystal, he had been left alone to fish up the stream, but he had a lingering sense of unease. Why didn’t she understand that he was only looking out for her best interest? He didn’t sign up for these games to protect her just to watch her get killed for some stranger. It’s not that he hated you, or wanted you to die. He felt sorry for you and the way that Hoseok had singled you out, but it was better you than Krystal.

His luck with fishing had been mediocre. He had been apprehensive to use their food supplies for bait in case there weren’t actually any fish in the river. On the plus side it turned out there were indeed fish, but on the negative, the ones he had managed to catch were tiny. He lost track of how long he had been fishing for, enjoying the feeling of the sun on his face after such a freezing night, when he was snapped out of his peace by the sound of a canon.

Something was wrong.

He couldn’t put his instincts into words, it didn’t make any logical sense, but he had a very, very bad feeling. It was like a part of him had collapsed inside of his chest.

‘Where’s Krystal?’

Surely, she would be back at camp, just like she was supposed to be?

He tried to shake off the feeling, canons were a normal part of the games, if Krystal was smart then she would still be with Athena. On her own Krystal was a formidable opponent, and Athena was a powerhouse. The only real threat that could take those two were the other careers, but they were all back down the cliff. She should be fine… so why didn’t it feel like she was?

With a huff, Yoongi wheeled in his wire and tossed the coil into the bucket. He would try fishing again later, using the smaller fish as bait. But first he had to go and find Krystal to put his mind at ease. He dipped the bucket into the river to fill it up with a little water, in order to keep the bait fresh in the meantime, then began his walk back to the campsite.

When he rounded the corner of the river that led to the waterfall, he felt his stomach drop upon seeing Athena alone at the campsite.

“Athena! Where’s Krystal” He yelled.

Her head jerked up from picking through a pile of different sticks, organizing them into different firewood. She seemed surprised, but Yoongi just thought that was from how loudly he had yelled at her.

“YOONGI, LOOK OUT!” Athena screamed back at him.

‘Look out for what? We need to look for Krystal?’

But his confused thought was interrupt by a searing pain running through his thigh. Gasping in agony, he was in so much pain he couldn’t even scream. Looking down he saw the long blade of a machete protruding out of his leg. Before Yoongi could even react, he was struck across the back of the head, whilst someone else landed a kick to his speared leg. Disorientated from the pain, the two attackers were easily able to manhandle him face down into the river.

Athena leapt up to help, but was met with a rope being wrapped around her neck from behind. The pressure instantly cut off her air, causing her to choke as she desperately clawed for the rope. But whoever had attacked her had miscalculated their strength. Once she was able to get a grip on the rope around her neck, Athena didn’t waste time trying to pull it away. Instead, she used her hold for leverage and rolled her body forward, causing the girl behind her to come flying over her shoulder.

Laying sprawled out on her back District 8 realized she had made a terrible mistake, but it was too late for her. Athena snatched a nearby spear from the weapons pile and drove it straight down into the girl’s stomach. After ripping the point out, Athena kicked her sharply in the side, sending her rolling into the rushing waters. Whether it was from the stab wound, drowning, or falling onto the rocks below, all Athena cared about was the sound of the canon that followed.

Spear in hand, she raced up the bank to save Yoongi.

One down, two to go.

 *

 Hoseok was quick to dismiss the sound of the canon as Namjoon taking care of the boy trying to steal from them, but his head turning towards the direction he thought the sound came from caused him to see a falling silhouette through the waterfall.

“What the fuck?”

He didn’t care for his allies atop the waterfall, but the odds for his plans in the games were better if they could stay alive until the outlier tributes were taken care of. He cast a quick scan around the cave for any sign that you were there, but seeing nothing he huffed and started climbing back down.

You couldn’t believe your luck.

After everything that had gone wrong so far in the arena, the moment you were seconds away from being found by your worst nightmare, something managed to distract him.

You should have felt guilty that the distraction came in the form of another person dying, but you were to high strung to properly register that. Listening to the sound of Hoseok’s footsteps, you waited until he was at the bottom of the steps before slowly moving forwards. Not wanting to risk being seen or heard, you slowly crawled your way to the edge to see Hoseok disappearing back out the side of the waterfall that he had come in from.

There was no way you were going to remain in the same place and risk being caught if he came back. Making sure your backpack was still secure, you climbed your way back down the same steps. But when you reached the bottom, you hurried along the rocks under the fall in the opposite direction that Hoseok had left.

 *

 Namjoon and the boy from 10 on the cornucopia had been trapped in a stalemate ever since Namjoon had returned from the waterfall. The boy had been distracted with filling up a bag as quickly as possible that he initially didn’t notice Namjoon sneaking up on him, but a movement in his peripheral version alerted him to the career’s presence. His head snapped up, as he saw him coming back to the cornucopia. Namjoon held the boy’s eyes with a dangerous stare that screamed one thing; ‘you’re dead, kid’.

There were barely any supplies left, the rock was sparse and the last remaining good items were now in the bag slung over his shoulder. Clearly Namjoon had to want what was in the bag if he was coming back for it.

“Don’t come any closer, or I’ll drop it!”

The break in his voice severely reduced the impact of his words, but the boy dangled the bag over the side of the water to show that he was serious.

Namjoon rolled his eyes, clearly not taking the threat seriously as he continued to walk, forwards, only to stop when the boy released the bag entirely. The boy caught the bag by the handle, but held it back up over the side of the edge once more.

‘So, he’s quick,’ Namjoon internally assessed as he held up his hands in a mock surrender.

“You have something of mine that I want back,” Namjoon nodded to the bag.

“If it was yours you would have taken it with you,” the kid snapped back.

“Everything in this arena is mine, including your life. Drop the bag on the rock and your death won’t be a painful one,” Namjoon threatened as he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to showcase his muscular triceps that were probably three times the width of the scrawny teenage boy’s.

“Come any closer and your bag will be thrown to the bottom of your river”

Namjoon longed to rush the boy and slam his head against the rock to teach him some respect, but the bag of supplies kept him rooted to the spot. Meanwhile the boy was tossing up his options. The boy from 10 knew that he was fast, but the weight of the bag would slow him down, and it was possible Namjoon could catch him. But if he dropped the bag his odds of outrunning him into the forest were much higher. But the boy wanted the bag just as much as the careers did. He hadn’t eaten since the start of the games. He had scarfed down a protein bar whilst cramming supplies into the bag, but he didn’t think he was going to last long in the forest without anything.

And so, the two stood eyeing each other down, neither willing to cut the loss of the bag, not even a body flying over the edge of the waterfall to the sound of a canon could distract them. However, Namjoon could still see Hoseok resurfacing out the side of the fall.

Hoseok could be brash but he wasn’t an idiot. Seeing the boy holding the bag over the water and Namjoon with his hands up, he could tell that there was some sort of bargain happening. With the boy’s arm over the water, it wasn’t like he could just shoot him with an arrow, without the bag falling in. Being within Namjoon’s line of sight, and with the boy having his back to him, Hoseok sent Namjoon a signal to let him know he would approach quietly.

Keeping his hands raised, Namjoon began to walk around the boy. He maintained the same distance, moving clockwise around the rock with lazy steps.

“You’re not getting off this rock with that bag,” he taunted as he walked, deliberately keeping the boy’s attention away from Hoseok, who was moving closer towards their direction.

“As a matter of fact, you won’t be getting off this rock alive at all”

“Then there wouldn’t be much sense in me keeping a hold of this bag then,” ten sneered.

“The second you drop the bag, is the second you die and you know it,” Namjoon replied coolly as he continued to pace.

“Not unless I make a trade”

Namjoon barked out a laugh.

“For you to make a trade you would need to have something I want. The only thing I want is that bag.”

“Oh really?” Ten asked with a knowing grin starting to crawl across his face.

Namjoon rolled his eyes at the audacity of the kid to think he could possibly strike a bargain, but he had to admit it was somewhat amusing.

“And what else could you possibly have?”

“I saw you and two earlier, I know you’re looking for your district partner. I also saw where she went”

There was a hint of glee in ten’s voice, like he was aware of a hilarious inside joke and Namjoon didn’t like it one bit.

“Bullshit,” he called.

At this reaction, ten outright giggled.

“I know you were tracking her, and that you killed that other career. But I also saw where she was going, and you were both so close.”

“And what makes you think that I believe you?”

Whether Namjoon believed him or not, having the boy keep talking was an excellent way to stall for time as Hoseok continued to get closer. With Namjoon now on the other side of the rock, it was only a matter of time before they had the kid trapped between them.

“She’s a pretty thing, isn’t she?”

Namjoon let out an exasperated sigh.

“No shit, we’ve all seen her at training and the interviews. Hardly proves you saw her today.”

Ten fumbled the bag slightly, his arm starting to burn with lactic acid from holding it over the water for so long. Bringing it down to the ground, he placed a foot on top, easily able to kick it into the river if he wanted. It was in the process of doing this that he caught sight of Hoseok approaching from his peripheral vision.

“Tell him to stop right now, or I kick the bag,” he immediately threatened.

“Hoseok!” Namjoon yelled, before making a cutting gesture across his throat, to get him to pause.

Hoseok reluctantly listened, coming to a stop just slightly further away from the boy than where Namjoon was on the other side of the cornucopia.

“So now what? I drop the bag and I die, or I give you the bag and I die” Ten deadpanned as he looked between the careers on either side of him, not exactly liking his options.

“Sounds about right to me,” Hoseok grinned, sliding the bow off his shoulder and preparing to load an arrow from his quiver.

“If you shoot me now then I can’t tell you where your girl is.”

Hoseok paused his hand right as it touched upon an arrow.

“Where is she,” he demanded.

Namjoon mentally slammed his palm against his forehead, of course Hoseok would be too blinded by his obsession with you, and buy into this bargain.

“I’m not just going to tell you so you can kill me. Look I can see there’s no situation here where I leave alive with the bag, so I’ll drop it. Here,” Ten paused to toss the bag a few feet in front of himself.

“Walk towards me and let me walk past you” Ten gestured towards Hoseok “and I’ll tell you where she is.”

Hoseok nodded curtly whilst Namjoon just rolled his eyes. He thought Hoseok was a lovesick fool, but was satisfied with the fact they at least had the bag back again.

The walk across the rocks began, ten deliberately tried to walk in a path that would create a gap in width between his body and Hoseok’s when they met. Hoseok read this and navigated himself in a way to lessen that distance, in case Ten tried to run without giving him the information that he wanted.

Meanwhile Namjoon walked towards the direction of the bag to retrieve it, but spotted something from the corner of his eye. There was some sort of shape in the rocks near the waterfall. He knew he should probably be paying attention in case Ten thought it was a good idea to jump his teammate, but Hoseok was strong enough to take care of himself, and this weird shape was bothering him. It was hard to see over the mist that sprayed up from the crashing impact, and when he squinted his eyes to look, it was like it was never there at all. For a moment he dismissed it as a bird until it moved again. A blur ducking up and then disappearing behind the closest rock. And then suddenly it clicked – why Ten had been laughing when talking about how close they apparently were to you before. The boy had seen you…

“HOSEOK!” He bellowed right before the two boys were about to pass each other “SHE WAS INSIDE THE CAVE. SHE’S MAKING A BREAK OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FALL”

 *

 Whatever luck you had acquired for Hoseok to leave inside the cave, seemed to have vanished almost as quickly as it had appeared. You couldn’t hear the words that Namjoon had yelled over the rumbling noise of water crashing nearby, but you could see him pointing in your direction.

For a split second you all froze. You were caught like a deer in headlights, Namjoon was pointing at you, Hoseok looked livid and the boy from ten was scared to death. There was barely any distance between Ten and Hoseok. They were less than six feet apart, with Hoseok blocking the way to the forest, and Ten had just lost his only bargaining chip seconds away from managing to escape. With no weapon on his body, and no way to get around the armed career in front of him, he made a split-second decision to turn back around. If he was going to die, then he wasn’t going to let those careers get that bag, He’d kick it into the river if it was the last thing he did.

Immediately, chaos erupted.

You took off into a sprint across the rocks. You no longer had to worry about remaining hidden and put all your focus on speed. There was no point in prioritizing your safety on the dangerous surface either – it was either get away, or die. You’d risk slipping and breaking your neck than winding up caught between Hoseok and Namjoon any day. Using every ounce of instinct built from years living on the coast, climbing your boat, and scaling rocks near the sea, you made a break for the forest.

Being the closest, Namjoon would have pursued you, if wasn’t for ten turning around. Reading his move for the bag Namjoon had to race him for it, which was in the opposite direction that you were running. Hoseok and ten were both the same speed, so it was down to him being closer to save their supplies.

“No! Get her! GET HER!” Hoseok yelled to Namjoon as he watched you slipping through his fingers, whilst you ran closer to the forest’s edge.

But Namjoon ignored the demand, leaping onto the bag just seconds before Ten’s foot could make contact with a kick. Instead, Namjoon took the hit to his side and rolled, causing ten to go flying over the top of him.

Ten landed with a sickening crunch. He had thrown his arms out to break the fall, only to break his wrist on impact with the rock. Despite the agony, he used the momentum to keep rolling and fell off the side, into the water below. Namjoon sat up with a grunt, with his water experience, swimming the boy down wouldn’t be a problem, except Hoseok was about to beat him to it.

With his bow loaded, Hoseok shot an arrow straight into the shoulder of ten. The boy let out a muffled scream as he fell underneath the surface, no longer able to swim. With ten no longer a threat, Hoseok looked up to try and find where you were, to see you were right at the border between the rocks and the forest edge.

You had made it to the trees and stopped to look behind to see if you were being chased, when you witnessed Hoseok shoot the boy from ten. You thought that would be it, that he would be left to drown now that he could no longer swim, or that Hoseok would fire a second arrow to be certain. Instead, you found yourself rooted to the spot as Namjoon reached into the water and pulled ten back up to the surface by the arrow stuck inside of his body. As Namjoon continued to drag a screaming ten out of the water, and back up onto the cornucopia rock, Hoseok stood at his side, pointedly staring at you.

Your eyes were locked onto his, trying to read what he was going to do next. You leaned against the closest tree as you tried to suck in deep breaths. Your lungs burned from sprinting over the rocks, but you had to be ready to run again into the forest at any moment. In return Hoseok was eerily still. He watched the rise and fall of your chest with every breath you took, studied the flush of red across your cheeks and beads of sweat trickling from your forehead, and thought of the ways in which he would love to elicit such a response from your body. He ached to run and take you into his arms so he could feel the warmth of your body pressed against his, but knew that you would disappear into the forest the second he tried to. So, instead he chose to drag those seconds out as long as possible, just watching you breathe from a distance to find comfort in knowing you were still alive.

  *

 The sound of the canon had distracted the two boys that were holding Yoongi under the water. Turning their heads over towards the sound they were hoping to see Athena dead and the other girl from eight returning to help them take care of the last person at camp, but were met with the sight of an enraged Athena running in their direction.

“Shit! What the fuck do we do?” The boy from district 8 hissed, as he maintained his pressure on Yoongi’s neck to keep him face down under the water.

“How the fuck should I know?” the boy from district 9 snapped back, “You’re the genius who said your partner could take care of her”

“I thought she could! How hard is it to sneak up and kill someone from behind?”

“Too hard apparently”

“WATCH OUT!”

The two boys’ bickering was cut short by eight shoving nine to the side and narrowly avoiding the spear that Athena had thrown.

“That was clos-”

Eight’s sigh of relief was cut short by a second spear landing in his throat.

Nine released a horrified scream at the gruesome vision. The canon hadn’t sounded yet as eight was barely clinging to life, choking out gargled breaths as blood spilled profusely down his neck and into the water below. Nine was so preoccupied by the sight that he didn’t even notice that Yoongi had surfaced from the water. With an agonized grunt, Yoongi pulled the blade of the machete out of his leg and swung it straight into the kid’s head.

Two canons sounded one after the other as the boys died simultaneously.

With the surge of adrenaline fading as quickly as it had appeared, Yoongi collapsed on the shore, vomiting up the water he had been forced to swallow whilst being held under. His injured leg was throbbing, he had a splitting headache and his chest felt like someone had been sitting on it. He was barely conscious when Athena caught up to him and dragged him further out of the water, to make sure he didn’t get caught in the stream and sent over the waterfall.

Pulling her button up shirt from her body (leaving just a tank top underneath), Athena set to work on creating a makeshift tourniquet by tying the sleeves tightly above the wound.

“You know, I could easily just kill you now,” Athena mused.

Yoongi’s response was a laugh in the form of a sharp huff. It was true, he was defenseless. The machete had been lodged into nine’s skull and taken away with his body. He now had no weapon and a major injury in his leg, whilst Athena was a skilled hand to hand combat fighter. She could also easily run back to the weapons at their camp before he could even struggle to his feet.

“So why don’t you?” he grunted, closing his eyes and letting his head fall onto the ground below.

Yoongi knew his shot at the games was practically over with such a severe injury. His bad feeling over Krystal was only made worse by the surprise attack from the three tributes. What if they had killed her when she went off to have a bathroom break earlier? She hadn’t been seen in hours and there were far too many canons that had sounded today. If Krystal was dead then there was no purpose for him to be here anymore, though he hoped to at least wait to see the tribute display in the evening and confirm Krystal was gone before entirely giving up.

“Hoseok and Namjoon,” Athena sighed in response.

Though his eyes were closed, Yoongi raised an eyebrow, indicating for her to elaborate.

“What do you think those two would think if they came back and saw you dead in camp and your sister missing too? They’d probably act like I did it and kill me on the spot for betraying the alliance.”

“That sucks,” Yoongi grumbled.

“Yeah, it does,” Athena laughed. Nothing about the situation was actually funny, but it was such a surreal experience it was all she could do.

“But you know what else sucks?” She continued, earning a questioning grunt from Yoongi.

“That this wouldn’t have even happened if Hoseok and Namjoon didn’t go off on their stupid search for YN. The weird obsession with her, it’s literally insane.”

“I don’t get it either,” Yoongi sighed.

“I’m sick of it. They left us here to die, maybe Krystal already has…”

Yoongi flinched.

“Sorry. But for what? A stupid crush they’re going to have to kill in the end anyway. I didn’t get my name pulled out of that bowl just so I could die as a side character in some weird love story.”

“So, what are you going to do about it? Jump them when they come back to camp?”

Athena scoffed at the suggestion.

“Tempting but I think we both know they’re stronger than I am. I might take down one of them with me but I couldn’t get both. And it’s not like you’d be much help there either.”

“I offer you my complete moral support” Yoongi deadpanned.

Athena barked out another laugh.

“I’ve got nothing,” she sighed. “Maybe we have that in common, and maybe we should at least watch each other’s backs.”

Yoongi opened his eyes and looked up to see Athena staring down at him.

The pain of potentially losing Krystal was still too raw for him to properly process, especially without any closure of knowing that it had really happened (though every instinct in his gut told him she was gone). But he had been so focused on his goal of protecting his sister he hadn’t given much thought to any of his other teammates.

Athena looked tough and intimidating, she scored high in trials and interviewed well. By all standards she was just another typical career, but the reality was she was also human. Yet another sacrifice to the capitol, just like his sister and just like himself. With Krystal, he had someone he loved with him, but Athena had no one. Her closest thing to a partner, in her district mate, had abandoned her for a prettier girl like a child distracted by a shinier new toy. If they were both doomed to die here, then the least he could do was make sure she wasn’t entirely alone.

“Yeah, I think we should”.

 *

 The sound of two back-to-back canons cut short whatever moment you were having with Hoseok. It was a slap across the face reminder that this was a game to kill until the last person standing, and the man standing across the rocks from you would ultimately have to try and kill you, no matter what sweet promises he made.

“YN wait, please!” you heard him beg as you broke eye contact, but you didn’t look back again as you turned and vanished into the forest.

“FUCK!” Hoseok screamed in frustration, launching a kick into the ten’s shoulder, the same one he had shot the arrow into. If he couldn’t have you now then he was going to make the little shit who ruined his plans pay.

Namjoon took a step back, and picked up the bag of supplies. He then walked over to a nearby rock and set the bag down in front of him, perfectly secured between his legs. Unzipping the top, he reached inside and dug out an apple, biting in as Hoseok ripped the arrow completely out of ten’s shoulder. Namjoon watched nonchalantly as Hoseok reloaded the arrow and shot it into ten’s other shoulder, the younger boy writhing in agony below.

The torture continued as Namjoon ate his snack. Hoseok would pull the arrow out of ten’s body by twisting it painfully, before reloading and shooting it again into another non-lethal area. His arms and legs were more like a bloody human pin cushion by the time Namjoon had finished a second apple and decided he was bored.

“We should get back to camp,” he declared, shouldering the bag.

Hoseok turned his attention to Namjoon with a raised brow.

“Those two canons earlier, and the one before that, we should check on Athena and Yoongi.”

Hoseok opened his mouth to argue before Namjoon cut him off.

“I don’t care about them either, however it would benefit us to know if they are still alive and who attacked them if they’re not. If there are other tributes working together, we need to take care of them before they go after YN next.”

Hoseok rolled his neck to stare up at the sky with an exhausted sigh. He knew Namjoon was right, and self-indulgent torture sessions weren’t going to get you back.

“Good,” Namjoon confirmed with a smile, before leaning down and snapping ten’s neck with his bare hands.

 Another canon.

 *

 It took slightly longer than an hour for Namjoon and Hoseok to climb the cliff and return to the campsite, where they were met with the sight of Athena wrapping a bandage around Yoongi’s thigh. The duo was informed the first aid kit was a gift from a sponsor and that the Yoongi and Athena were ambushed by three tributes, all now dead. When Yoongi asked if they had seen Krystal, Namjoon denied anything and asked if they heard any canons before they were attacked. Athena confirmed there had been, and Yoongi had broken down crying.

Hoseok left the other boy to grieve, knowing his sister was dead long before the nightly display confirmed it. Laying down in the tent, he longed to run into the forest and find you right at this second. However, he knew he needed to rest, and that tomorrow when he left camp, there was no way he would return without you. For now, he settled on mentally calculating how many people had to be left in the games. Krystal was gone leaving only himself, Namjoon, Athena and an injured Yoongi in the careers, and of course, there was still you. Eight tributes had died on opening day, two had died over the night, there were two earlier canons that morning, and with the short-lived alliance of three, the person you had killed, and the boy from ten, then that only left one other tribute who was still alive…

  *

 You sat high up in a tree, tied to a branch, as you heard the Panem music blast throughout the arena. Shivering under your blanket, you listened as the game maker praised the blood bath of the day, and commented that you were on track for the fastest games in history. When Krystal’s face appeared in the sky as the first tribute, you lost it. You bundled the top of the blanket into a ball and openly sobbed into the fabric, mourning the loss of the only person in the arena who you would have called a friend. You cried far longer than it took for the capitol to display all of the people who had died, and so you honestly had no idea who was left, or exactly how many people there even were now.

You knew Hoseok and Namjoon were still alive as only one more canon had sounded after you ran into the forest, and there was no doubt in your mind it was for the boy that had been shot with the arrow. You felt physically sick from crying; your sinuses were clogged and you had a nasty headache. You were also dizzy from not eating anything in hours and downright drained from how physically and emotionally taxing everything was. You had zero plan for survival in the arena, and no idea what you were going to do the next time Hoseok came close to finding you. In your exhausted state, you decided that would have to be a problem for tomorrow. Letting your head fall back against the trunk, you closed your eyes and quickly succumbed to your body’s need for rest.

Little did you know that someone very close by had been tracking you since earlier that afternoon, and was waiting for this exact moment.

  Note: Ten’s idea was to grab the bag and run, he didn’t stop to search what was inside, and obviously regretted the fact he didn’t check for a weapon when he had the chance

So close to 10K but I didn’t want to fill it with garbage for the sake of trying to boost the word count, so 9.5 it is.

[sfb123]

Whatcha Wearin’ Under There?

I am participating in @wackydrabbles prompt # 93 “Was this what made her [him, them,you] happy?” which will appear in bold.  

Pairing: Liam x Riley

A/N: I was having a conversation with @kat-tia801 and @queenrileyrose this afternoon, and it got pretty lit, we ended up complaining about the horrible underwear choices for the male LIs in TRR, one thing lead to another, and this idea was born. Now one of you just needs to write the other underwear shopping idea that came up.

Thank you to my fandom soulmate @jessiembruno for helping me design the perfect sexy underwear. It definitely turned out way better than the real life examples I have lying around my house.

Word Count: 1,140

Rating/Warning: PG-13 bordering on R, I’m towing that 🍋 line, but it’s all implied.

All Characters belong to Pixelberry

Tags: Listed below. Let me know if you’d like to be added or removed.

Liam slipped out of the bed, his back to Riley as he put his underwear on. When he turned around, he saw that she had rolled to her side and was watching him dress. “Like what you see?” He said with a smirk.

Riley smiled nervously, this was as good a time as any to bring it up. “Um...not really?”

“I’m sorry?” Liam couldn’t hide the shocked, and slightly hurt expression on his face. 

She immediately sat up in the bed, pulling the sheet over her chest. “Oh no no no Liam, not like that! I love the product, it’s just the wrapper I’m not a huge fan of.” 

“Come again?”

“Listen, I know it’s called European cut, but just because you’re from Europe doesn’t mean you are bound by law to wear man panties.” 

Liam chuckled and sat on the bed, wrapping his arm around her. “Love, I had no idea you had such an aversion to my undergarments.”

“It’s not that.” Riley paused, her mind racing to find the best possible reasoning to get her way, she turned to him as soon as she determined the perfect route to take. “You want kids right? I mean, you need them, heirs to the throne and all.” He nodded curious as to where this was going. “Well, boxers are better for your sperm count. It makes conceiving way easier. It’s science. I’m only looking out for you, and for Cordonia.”

“Is that so?” He cocked an eyebrow. “Well the Rys line has been around for centuries, so perhaps this style isn’t quite as limiting as you have been led to believe.”

Riley grimaced, partly because that reason didn’t work, but the other was the mental image of Constantine in his underwear that Liam had just planted in her head. She shook it off, she couldn’t have that rattling around in her brain if she was going to get plan b to work. She shifted so that she was straddling his lap, letting the sheet she was holding slip away. 

“You know how sometimes, when you undress me, I’m wearing those cute little surprises for you?” He audibly gulped and nodded in response as her fingers slowly trailed across his chest. “Well, don’t you want to wear something that will make me just as...excited as I make you?” She tilted her head down slightly and looked up at him through her lashes, biting her bottom lip. 

“Yes, my queen.” He pulled her mouth to his in a hungry kiss, thrusting his hips up, both groaning at the sudden jolt of pleasure. 

“Mmmm...now my king,” she said in a low sultry voice, as their lips parted, “imagine how much more comfortable that would be if you had more room for everything.” She gestured at his growing bulge.

“Love, I don’t care what I’m wearing, as long as you’re the one taking it off of me.” He flipped them so that he was now hovering over her, causing Riley to yelp. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow, I will get anything you want.” He kissed her again as her hands slid down to his waist to free him from his confines. 

The next day, Riley and Liam stepped through the doors of one of the local Cordonian shops. They had sent the guard ahead of time to close down and secure the store, to insure the utmost privacy for their intimate excursion. Riley rushed toward the racks while Liam lingered behind, smiling to himself at his wife’s excitement. 

“Come on Liam, these are for you, you should come pick some that you like!” She waived for him to join her. 

“That’s alright, all that matters is that you are happy with the selections. I’m sure I will love whatever you choose.”

Riley shook her head, laughing to herself, continuing to pull her selections from the rack. She continued to riffle through the options, running her fingers along the materials, and admiring the selection. Once her arms were full, she hurried over to Liam and handed everything over to him. “Ok, go see what you think!”

“You’re not coming in with me to help?”

“Oh, I have no problem going in there and helping you take things off. It’s the having to put things on that may prove difficult. You’d better fly solo on this one.” She said, placing a light pat on his behind. He laughed and gave her a kiss before moving into the changing room.

Once inside, Liam held up the first pair and examined them carefully, Was this what made her happy? He thought to himself, confused as to why one would need so much material if the intention was to just cover up his private areas. He shrugged before pulling off his clothes, changing into the Versace boxer briefs that Riley had chosen for him. The first thing he noticed was the color, green. He smiled to himself, knowing she settled on that color because it was her favorite. He ran his hands up and down his thighs, feeling the luxurious cotton fabric that covered him. They did feel nice, but it still felt like an odd amount of material for an undergarment. 

He peeked his head out from behind the curtain searching for Riley, who was seated on a chaise on the other end of the fitting room, scrolling through her phone. He cleared his throat to get her attention. She looked up and smiled. “Alright, bring on the sexy fashion show.” She rubbed her palms together in anticipation. 

Liam stepped out of the changing area and walked forward, stopping just in front of her and placing his hands on his hips. “Riley, love, aren’t these just a pair of shorts?”

She laughed at the comment and approached him to get a better look. “No Liam, they’re underwear, I promise. How do they feel?”

“Quite comfortable, actually. I’m just afraid they will be cumbersome when I am wearing pants over them.”

“You’ll get used to it. I promise.” She reached up and kissed him on the nose. “Are you going to get them?” She asked hopefully. 

“Do you like them?” At his question, her eyes roamed up and down his body, licking her lips as she did, and finally nodding her head. “Then I will get them in every color they have, and two of the green.” He winked.

“Great! You should go change so we can check out and head home. Like now.” 

Liam could tell by the heat in her voice exactly why she was in such a hurry to get back to the palace. “Why don’t you come with me? I would love to have your assistance.” He took her hand and lifted it to his lips. 

“Yup. Totally. Let’s do that.” She nodded her head frantically and pulled him into the dressing room.

Permatags: @anjanettexcordonia @athena-penrose @chemist-ana @cordonia-gothqueen @cordoniaqueensworld @gabesmommie1130 @gkittylove99 @hopelessromanticmonie @iaminlovewithtrr @jessiembruno @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @kingliam2019 @lucy-268 @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @mile9213 @mom2000aggie @pixie88 @queenrileyrose @secretaryunpaid @sweatyrysconnoisseur @theroyalheirshadowhunter @twinkleallnight @txemrn

One Shots: @bebepac @darley1101

Liam x Riley: @jared2612​

@wackydrabbles​ @choicesficwriterscreations​

[clearlymiraculous]

what the heck was wishmaker (swears ahead)

Ok so I've been hit with the double whammy of the two hilarious trainwrecks that were Crocoduel and Wishmaker... as the more ridiculous of the two, lets talk about Wishmaker. please keep in mind that I literally just watched the episode and I have nothing clever to say this is really just a rant

Firstly... the knowledge that these kids will graduate and move onto lycee? in MY Miraculous Ladybug? (it's more likely than you think). But the sudden "hey, you guys are now mid-teens, time to make choices that will affect the rest of your life" honestly hit different. Suddenly it felt like a real school, with real students that had different goals. If only they, you know, showed us this crap.

Take Marinette, for example. Because, you know, she's the main character. I love how that she's such a feminist icon, that she's gotta choose between her love of fashion, Adrien, her love of design, Adrien, her dual role of Ladybug and the Guardian, and... I guess her love for Adrien? I mean, those are the main things that give her life joy and meaning and will help her choose a career.

I hope you understand that I am so fucking angry that they had to bring Adrien into this, because if anyone in that writers room actually cared about being a good influence on young girls, ADRIEN WOULD NOT BE A PART OF THIS CONVERSATION. Yes, love and being loved is important to individual happiness. We as social creatures thrive on love. But to reduce Marinette, who is supposed to be so capable and able to handle herself, to a girl with a crush, is so demeaning!!! Her value is suddenly being determined over whether or not her love is returned by a boy! What lesson is she supposed to be learning here?!?!

Adrien, by comparison, has a much more poignant conversation with Plagg over what he wants to do in life - he's always modelled, but he's now self aware enough to realise that there are other options and that he doesn't know where to go. As a cusp gen Y/Z (1995), I have never related more to a feeling like that in my life. With the rise of social media came an influx of jobs that didn't even exist when I graduated high school. Influencers did not exist, YouTubers were just beginning to flourish. I still have no clue of the specific path I want to walk down, just a few half baked ideas. Not once do we need to think about who he's in love with. Ladybug factors into the conversation, yes, but it's over his use as a hero. His unrequited love doesn't come up. What's with the double standards here?!?!

Now to the hilarity of the episode - Alec Cataldi. Until now he's just been the host of every show in Paris that isn't the news. Sure, he'd give a friendly roast every now and then, but this time around he's woken up and chosen violence... by telling people at the job fair that their jobs are pointless? The weird thing is that the selection of jobs you actually see seem to be more based on niche art and crafting. These are jobs based on the specific love of the craft that can be successful - homemade ice cream, hand crafted instruments, and wig making all have potential for financial success. Anyway it's the wig making that sets Alec off.. because apparently as a child people made fun of him for having like a disproportionately large afro?

Let's skip the majority of the fight. It's the best part of the episode, because the childhood dreams are hilarious. The best one by far is the guy who wants to be a cucumber, ESPECIALLY because it turns out to be Banana Man (still waiting for his akumatisation), and the way that Ladybug's Lucky Charm is for some random guy that just wants to be a toy dinosaur to hug people is amazing, it's so out of left field and I loved it.

HOWEVER... we also have a question that we've been wanting answered the whole episode: what does Adrien want to do? He can't think of what his childhood dream was, it was a mystery. So of course he gets hit, or he lets himself get hit, who even cares because Chat's competency has been going down faster than Thomas Astruc's ego has been rising... and suddenly I am wishing I never asked because apparently all Adrien ever wanted to do was whatever his parents wanted him to do? Fuck off.

Who in their right mind would even write that? I'm not kidding, he literally says "When I was a kid, I always wanted to be what my parents wanted me to be!" Now, if we'd had further context, like his parents talking about how they wanted him to be kind to others and to be happy with his choices, it would be fine. But all we have is Gabriel's weird emotional abuse and desire for his son to be perfect, attractive, and good at All The Things, as long as he remains the Agreste Cash Cow. WHAT? I'M SORRY, WHAT?!!?! Adrien, honey, you need a therapist, because no, you're not perfect, you're a people pleasing anxious wreck.

Anyway apparently all along Alec just wanted to be the next RuPaul, because that's how we end the episode - Luka now joining the Cursed Knowledge Club, and our titular characters deciding to remain stagnant because like that's how you write a good tv series, you know?

I'm not kidding about RuPaul. Any Drag Race fan will recognise the butchered end quote. Can I get an amen?

[outofsstyles]

WILDEST DREAMS

a/n: soo I’ve been working on this for a little while now and I’m very excited to share it with you al!! This piece is inspired by Taylor Swift’s music video for her song Wildest Dreams. If you’ve never seen the video, or don’t remember it really well, I recommend you watch it *after* reading the story so you don’t get it spoiled! If you’re interested then you can watch it by clicking *right here!!*

Word count:  17.2k                     Rated: M, mature           

You agree to help your friend on her film project and Harry is playing your love interest.

“You’ve been frowning a lot and haven’t said a single word in the past five minutes, what’s wrong?” You looked up to your quiet roommate sitting opposite to where you stood near the kitchen counter. 

A playlist you both had made months ago, meant only for cooking days, as Nia had instructed, played faintly in the background. You hummed along to the melody of a song you didn’t really know the name of, but had listened to it enough to mumble the lyrics, as you focused on cutting banana slices.

Nia was the one who brought up trying out a new fruit smoothie recipe she had found while scrolling around on Pinterest. She was pretty excited after coming home with the groceries, ready to start the process. Which is why seeing her sitting quietly as she glared at her phone was a big sign that something was wrong.

“I think Jordan is about to pull out on us,” she groaned loudly, locking her phone and throwing it on the counter, running her hands on her face, “I can’t believe this is happening a week before filming starts.”

“Oh, that’s not good news” you said, looking back at your friend’s defeated state in front of you as you threw the banana slices into the blender. “What happened?”

“He said he decided to go with his cousin to Ibiza.” Her arms muffled her voice as she lied on top of them, sighing once again, “this is the third one that leaves, I might as well just cancel the entire thing and fail this class.”

You rolled your eyes lightly at her, shaking your head as you listened to her dramatic reactions. Being her friend for as long as you have, you knew how stressed Nia got with a project, specially something she was passionate about. She was always too hard on herself, trying to push everything to be as perfect as possible, which is a good thing when you focused on the ultimate results. But she often tended to over-stress herself, and that’s what makes you worry.

With this one in particular, you could tell how excited she was from the day her teacher assigned it. She came back home and rambled for hours on end about making her first film. Which is why when she begged you to be part of it, and you couldn’t find it in your heart to say no. 

It was a small production after all, it just being Nia and her partner Evan, whom you have known had gotten close to her in the past months. She assured it would a rather simple concept, with only two characters. The trickiest part being the fact that they would film it out of town, in a camp house that belonged to Nia’s aunt. You had agreed to it to make her happy, and with her promise of buying you chocolate muffins. Most uni students, however, didn’t seem as keen to sacrifice a week of their spring break as you were.

“You’re being dramatic Nia,” you reassured, turning on the blender and cringing at the loud noise that took over the place. “Maybe they just read on the script that they would have to kiss me a couple of times and got too nervous about it,” you tried to humor, raising your voice a bit before turning the processor off. Nia looked back at you with a serious expression, making you scoff, “calm down, grumpy pants, I’m sure Evan knows someone who can do the role, stop worrying.”

“All I do is worry, you know that,” she sighed, standing up to walk towards the cabinets behind you. She selected two matching cups that she had gotten for your birthday, one had Elsa printed on it, and the other Anna. You smiled as she placed them on the counter, knowing you always thought matching friendship objects were silly, but Nia loved it, so you loved it too. She looked vaguely at the blender, letting her shoulder weight down.   “At least we have a banana smoothie.”

“And something else!” You said, jumping on your feet to get to the fridge and retrieved a tupperware. You held it in her direction and smiled, “leftover spaghetti from Joe’s!” you exclaimed, attempting to brighten her mood. She looked back at you, grabbing the container from your hands, as she tried to fight back a smile.

“Yes,  how could I forget the leftover spaghetti?”

**

As the days passed by, the both of you had gotten more stressed out. Nia was still worried about everything related to her film project. With the days passing by and no one to fill the other role on the script, she found herself on a daily cycle of stress breakdowns. 

Just two days after your former cast partner dropped out on the project to spend his week on the busy beaches of Ibiza, she had bought three different boxes of hair dyes. And as you helped her turn her hair into a light shade of pink, she cried about how everything seemed to go wrong in her life.

Meanwhile, you had been struggling to fight your procrastination tendencies and try to finish as much work as possible before spring break. A task that was showing itself to be extremely difficult, considering your mind seemed more focused on binge watching true crime shows on YouTube. 

The blank document stared back at you from your computer screen, as you wished that if you looked at it for long enough, the essay would somehow write itself. Writing a couple of words but soon deleting them and going back to an empty page, you signed. Why was it so difficult to introduce a topic? You took a sip of the hot drink on the sparkly Cinderella mug you had chosen for the day, another one of Nia’s Disney-related possessions. 

You frowned at the blank document, your failure to write a single paragraph still open in front of you. You heard a light knock on your bedroom door, but before you could even say anything, you spotted the already fading pink hair coming into the room. 

Nia walked in jumping excitedly, saying your name in little squeals and almost tripping down as she made her way to sit on your bed in front of you. Breathing out, she looked at you with a big smile and messy hair before blurting out.

“We’ve got you a husband!” you stared back at her, arching your eyebrows. You knew she was referring to the role on the film, but you still laughed off at her choice of phrasing. “Evan got someone, it’s like his old friend or something, said he trusts him not to drop out.”

“Well, fourth time’s a charm, I guess?” you smiled at her. 

“We’re planning a pizza night this Friday, so we can, you know, set the details and all that.” She properly lied down next to you, playing with the strings on the hem of your pajama shorts. “Also so you two can meet each other, of course, you’re going to be married for a week after all.”

“The way you say it seems like we’re actually doing it,”  You laughed, finally closing your computer, and moving down to face her. “We’re just playing characters, Nia.”

“I know, I know… You’re really no fun, aren’t you?” She moved her arm up to support her head and poked you with her free hand as you rolled your eyes at her. “Also, he seems pretty cute, Evan showed me his picture, maybe you two can hit off.”

“I’m sure he is,” you tried not to fall for her attempt on teasing you over someone you don’t even know. Sure, you’ll be playing love interests, but you’ve done this plenty of times before, back on your theatre days. Kissing someone on stage doesn’t mean you have feelings for them in real life, and you knew that pretty well. You sighed, looking down at her, not wanting to engage into this kind of topic.

“Anyway, should we celebrate your new cast member and my inability to write a single sentence about art history?” you changed the subject, trying to distract yourself from your own thoughts. “We could watch Devil Wears Prada and make caramel popcorn.”

Nia gasped dramatically, “these are the most beautiful words I’ve ever heard coming from those pretty lips of yours,”  jumping to her feet as she pulled you to stand with her. She then ran out of the room, screaming back, “I’ll get the blankets and you start with the popcorn!”

It’s been years since you’ve known Nia, but yet the dynamic between the two of you has never really changed. You’ve always considered yourself very lucky for having a friend like her in your life. From the day you met her in your English class, it was like seeing someone you had already known your entire life; it was always that easy to be with her. 

You two became inseparable from day one.

Looking back, it’s crazy for you to realize how well your high school plans with each other had turned out. Most people you know had those friends in school they only really talked to because they saw them five times a week. But as soon as graduation came by they parted their ways and became only good nostalgic memories for one another. With the two of you, everything just worked out. 

You both got into the university you wanted, ready to get matching art degrees. On your second year of college, you moved in together. And halfway through the course, Nia just dropped out to enroll on an eighteen months film school. And that’s when she met Nate. 

You always knew she was destined to be that kind of person who just has one great love in her life. Which was funny considering that anyone who spent over five minutes with her and Nate in the same room could swear they would never work together. They just were those kinds of couples who are the polar opposite of each other. 

Nia was a little social butterfly, who could start a conversation with anyone about anything. She could talk for hours with the old ladies at the grocery store about how the new brands of beans are just not as good as the ones not as well known. Or chat with the yoga moms about a new reality show that had premiered on Netflix. She loved experimenting on new things, trying out new recipes or mix distinct colors together on her clothes.

Nate, on the other hand, just wasn’t much of a talker at all. Since the start of their relationship, he often stops by at your apartment -wearing a different shade of grey every time - but it would be a lot to say that you two have had a conversation for longer than five minutes. He just mostly kept it to himself. 

They balanced each other, which is why they worked so well.

It would be a lie for you to say you didn’t think about having something like that for you. You thought maybe you just weren’t the kind of person to have one meaningful relationship in your life. And that was okay. You’d like to think you’re better off on your own, anyway. But now and then you wondered how it would be to fall asleep in someone’s arms every day.

But you tried your best to keep those thoughts locked away in the back of your head. You knew that for the most part love is not really meant to last, Nia was just part of the lucky few.

**

The atmosphere in your shared apartment was cozy, as you waited for Evan and his friend to arrive before you started the pizza hangout, as Nia called it. 

You both had spent the day tidying up the place, trying to decorate it a bit with some fairy lights and nice pillows you found in your room. It had been a long time since you had done any kind of social gathering in your home, and Nia wanted everything to be perfect. She even insisted on making the pizzas herself, which took most part of the afternoon, and a lot of bossing around on her part. 

By the time the food was in the oven and the only thing left to do was wait, her boyfriend joined the two of you. 

She was very talkative and bubbly, as she usually is, getting the wine bottles she selected for the evening and placing them on the counter as she chatted with him. It was nice seeing her back do being her usual self after such a stressful week. 

You got the right amount of glasses, placing them next to the bottles, as you hummed along to the Declan Mckenna’s voice playing in the background. You weren’t really paying attention to Nia’s babbles, catching a word or two as she rambled about some dolphin documentary she had to watch for one of her classes. Pouring out a glass for yourself, you looked over to Nate who had a puzzled look on his face, as he tried to make sense of whatever rant his girlfriend had going on. You took a sip of your wine, and laughed lightly at yourself at the contrast between the two of them, something you had always found very amusing to observe. But before you could go further into your thoughts, the sound of the buzzer took over the small apartment.

“They’re here!” Nia gushed, as she quickly made her way out of the kitchen to get the front door, yelling back at you to get the pizzas out of the oven.

“Yes, ma’am,” you teased after she left, earning a light chuckle from Nate. 

Making your way around the kitchen, you took out kitchen gloves that had figures of little chicks printed on them, giving one last check inside the oven to make sure everything was ready, before opening it and taking out the food. You could hear Nia greeting Evan excitedly in the background, as she rushed him and his friend to come inside. As their voices got closer, you turned your back to the entrance, concentrating on not burning yourself while you placed both pizzas on top of the counter.

“There’s our star!” You heard Evan’s loud voice taking over the kitchen space, making you look over your shoulder and laugh at him. 

You turned around while taking off the gloves, as he pulled you into a tight hug, the strong scent of his cologne invading your nostrils. He wasn’t much taller than you, making him being considered short for a man. But his presence in a room was always so loud and bright that he seem much bigger than he actually is. You pulled back and looked at him, suddenly feeling underdressed in your own home. His entire outfit was bright red, being consisted of a jean jacket and silk pants, his eyes matching with vibrant eyeshadow taking over his whole eyelids.

“It’s very nice to see you again Evan,”  you smiled at him, his hands still holding onto your shoulders as he looked warmly at you. “It’s been too long! You look fabulous!”

“Oh honey, you flatter me too much! It’s why I love coming here,” he scoffed playfully, coming to your side and wrapping one arm over your shoulder as he guided you. “But tonight is not about me, unfortunately. It’s about the two of you.”

As you finally moved your attention to the kitchen entrance, you realized another presence standing there. A man, who you assumed was Evan’s friend, already smirking down at you as both of you approached him. 

You suddenly felt nervous under his stare while you could hear Evan commenting on something you didn’t really pay attention to. You had been taken completely by surprise by the man standing in front of you. Sure, Nia had mentioned to you once or twice that he was good looking, but you were not expecting this. 

It was a weird feeling, being this affected by someone you had just met, but you would have to be blind not to notice. His face was beautiful, a sharp jawline contrasting his soft skin, his fingers poked at his bottom lip as he smirked, you could notice the hint of a dimple forming on his cheek. His hair was short, but still long enough to see the shape of slight curls forming in it, some locks falling charmingly against his forehead. But what hit you the most were his eyes, thanks to the dim lighting you couldn’t really tell if they were a shade of forest green or more of a hazel tone, but you could feel your cheeks warming up from the way he watched you as you got closer.

His shoulders were broad, as he was leaning against the entrance, the hand that wasn’t poking at his lip resting inside the pocket of his brown pair of trousers. He wore a blank white shirt, partly tucked in, underneath a beige cardigan. The sleeves had been rolled up to his elbows, making you notice the tattoos hugging the skin of his arms. You felt a curious wish to know how many more you could find under all the layers of clothing..

As you and Evan got closer, he moved from his leaning position to stand tall in front of you. The smile never leaving his lips, and his eyes still watching you closely.

“So, darling, meet Harry,” Evan spoke up, gesturing you towards his friend. “He’s a pest, but I’m sure you’ll get along just fine”

“Way to give a first impression, E,” Harry rolled his eyes at his friend’s teasing, before turning his attention back to you. He moved closer, embracing you into a side hug “S lovely to meet you-”

You quickly cleared your throat, afraid that your voice would give you away, before saying your name. The attempt didn’t really seem to work, as your words came out higher than you had intended. You could feel Nia’s gaze turning to you on the corner of your eye, but tried your best to ignore it. He repeated it, before shooting a smile in your direction, the sound of his deep voice and the way his lips circled around the words making the hairs behind your neck rise.

“Okay! So how about we move this party to the living room?” Nia’s voice broke into the atmosphere. “Everyone can get their wine glasses and make themselves comfortable while y/n and I finish arranging the pizzas.”

She shot you a knowing look, before moving to get the wine bottles and handing them to Nate. Everyone shifted to get their glasses and settle in the other room, leaving you and Nia alone. 

You moved to get the knives and looked at the pizzas standing on the counter in front of you, calculating how you could cut out even slices on each. You could see your friend from the corner of your eye leaning on the counter staring directly at you.

“You know you can’t fool me even for a second, miss,” she teased, you could hear the smirk on her voice.

“I’m not doing anything,” you murmured, still not looking in her direction. She scoffed, elbowing you lightly as she mimicked you, saying your name in a high-pitched voice. You shot her a dirty look before shushing her, afraid the guest in the other room could hear her teasing. “I didn’t sound like that!”

“Oh please! You should have seen how you looked at him!” She rolled her eyes at you, “thought you were gonna drop down on your knees right then and there!”

“Nia!” you screamed in a whisper, your cheeks warming up at her words as you pinched her, making her squeal. You quickly shot a look at the entrance to see if anyone might’ve heard her, but they seemed to be enrolled in their own conversation. “Let’s just get this done quickly before they suspect we’re in here for too long.”

“Okay, cheeky girl,” she bit her lip and moved to get a knife to cut one pizza, but still eyeing you with a slight smile, leaning in one last time, “but I told you he was cute.”

Eventually, the two of you finished sorting out the pizza slices and joined everyone in the living room. Nia then rushed to join her boyfriend on the loveseat, leaving the only spot available for you being between Harry and Evan on the couch. She shot you a teasing smile, but you tried your best to ignore it and focus on finishing the wine glass you had poured for yourself earlier.

“Okay, so I’m going to need everyone to eat the food and tell me how good it is,” Nia pointed out to the center table where the  pieces of pizza laid upon, “I’ve spent the entire afternoon on these babies, so eat up!”

“You know that I’ve helped you with them, right?” you added, squinting your eyes at her, “some credit wouldn’t hurt.”

“You only laid the toppings on the dough so they would look even,” she snapped back pointing a finger at you, “I did all the hard work, so shush it.”

But before anyone could move to get a slice, Evan was already stretching out his arms to stop you from moving. “Wait a second,” he spoke, “I feel like I’ve watched enough seasons of MasterChef to be the first one to judge.”

“I mean, you are the best critic I know,” Nia pointed, leaning in to get a slice and offering to Evan, “but again, I don’t really know any other critics.” She humored as he took the food, making a show of analyzing it.

Everyone waited expectantly as Evan bit into the pizza slice, keeping a straight face that didn’t reveal much of his opinions. Nia leaned in his direction, nervously biting her bottom lip as she waited for his final verdict.

“You have to be honest,” she warned, observing him, “but know that I can get my feelings hurt pretty easily.”

“I don’t mind that,” Evan finally said, straightening his posture as he looked back to Nia’s waiting eyes, “I’ll say that it’s not the best pizza I’ve ever had,” he announced, “but it works.”

“You know what, I take it,” everyone laughed lightly as Nia visibly released a breath she had been holding in, “It’s not a bad review for a first time.”

The hours went by quickly as you eased into a conversation with everyone. It was nights like this you missed the most when the stress of all the accumulative work weighted on your shoulders. Having a more of a cool night to hangout with a few friends, drinking some wine and chatting about whatever topic came to mind.

As time passed, you could tell Nia and Evan got more agitated, probably due to the amount of wine they had consumed without even realizing. They chatted excitingly about Midsommar, their voices raising a bit too loud. But every time you tried to shush them, jokingly reminding of the neighbors next door, they would soon forget about it again.  You watched them babble, giggling when they would get excited on a certain topic and start to trip over a few words. 

You also felt lighter because of the alcohol, not as much as them, but still enough so you could feel your chest warmer and your mind a bit dizzy. You still felt an annoying tingle at the pit of your stomach when you felt Harry’s eyes fixating on you when you spoke, or when your hands brushed as you reached for the bottle at the center table. It was silly, and it made you feel like a teenager being in the presence of an attractive boy for the first time.

When it all quiet down eventually, Nia had dragged Evan to her room so he could give an insight on how she could decorate it. It was something she would do now and then, give her room a big renovation so the change in the space could make her more motivated, or something like that. Sometimes, if she felt inspired enough, she would change around the living area or  even your own room - when you allowed her, of course. 

Nate was still sitting on the loveseat looking like he was about to fall asleep at any moment as he scrolled through his phone. He hadn’t spoken a lot during the night, which wasn’t unusual for him, but he still managed to chat for a bit. 

That left you and Harry alone sitting on the main couch, with one person less it left you enough space to cross your legs, making yourself more comfortable. He was sitting on his side, his back resting on the big pillows by the arm of the couch, his chest turned towards you.

You reached for the wine bottle at the center table, realizing there was just a bit left, enough for a last glass for the two of you. “Wanna help me finish it?”  You turned to him with the bottle in your hand. He had a smile resting on his lips, as he raised his glass toward you so you could pour the liquid into it. You could tell his eyes were a bit cloudy, but you knew none of you had had enough to be drunk.

“Thank you, love,” he said, the raspiness on his voice as he spoke the pet name making the hairs in the back of your neck rise. You poured yourself the rest of the wine left, emptying the bottle as you settled it back where you got it. “Should we make a toast?” 

“Sure,” you replied easily, smiling at him, “what should we toast for?”

He looked away, puckering his lips slightly as he made a puzzled expression, a hand scratching at his chin as if in deep thought. You giggled at his dramatics before he pointed his finger up, his face turning into a big smile. He raised his glass in your direction, as you did the same. “A toast for being husband and wife?”

You chuckled, clinking your glasses together, “that’s fair,” you said, “ ‘s why we’re here after all, isn’t it?” you joked, taking a sip of your drink before settling it down on your lap.

“Sure is,” he mimicked, rising his glass to his lips, a smirk still adorning them as he managed to not break eye contact. He took a small sip before settling his glass back on the table.  He scratched the tip of his nose slightly with the side of his finger, before he relaxed back on the couch. “So” he spoke up, bringing your attention to him, “E told me you’re an actual actress,” he raised his eyebrows at you, “made me a bit nervous, love.”

“That right there is a lie,” you chuckled, biting your lip and shaking your head. “I used to do theatre back in the day, haven’t done any acting for years though.”

“A theatre kid, huh?” He laughed as you rolled your eyes jokingly.

“I’m aware we have a poor reputation, yes,” you said,  “I reckon we deserve it, but we weren’t that bad, I promise.”

He giggled, making your heart skip a beat at the sound. His smile was something you could easily get used to, the way it formed crinkles in his eyes and the dimples deep on his cheeks. You had to stop yourself for staring too much, moving your gaze to the glass on your lap.

“People are too harsh on theatre kids,” he reassured, “I think it seems pretty fun — only time I did it was when I played Elvis when I was about five, I think.” He added, resting his arm against the couch, his hand just a few inches away from your shoulders. “Had the time o’my life though.”

“You got main character though, that’s impressive,” you expressed, raising a hand to poke at his side playfully. “Have you done anything since your big debut as the king?”

“Can’t say I have, no,” he chuckled, “guess this is my big comeback, maybe I’ll get a call from broadway soon.”

“I’m sure you will!” You giggled, taking another sip from the glass in your hand.

You found it easy to dive into a conversation with him. You were both giggly from the wine, but it still seemed like you could stay like this for hours on end,  just talking to each other. 

He told you he wasn’t planning on doing the film, considering he never really thought about acting. But when Evan asked him if he could be part of it, he saw how desperate he was to fill the role, so he agreed. It warmed your heart to hear how fondly he spoke about his friend, telling you how willing he was to help, even if it involved doing something out of his comfort zone.

You two bounded over your mutual wish to become teachers. You found out he was studying Literature, a choice that for him as an easy one, considering throughout his life he had always been an avid reader. He said no matter how harsh thing got, he always found an escape between books, you could tell how passionate he was about it as he spoke about his favorite reads.

Eventually, you could hear voices coming closer from Nia’s room, as they seemed to be gushing about the filming that was starting soon. 

As Evan came into the room, he made his way to the couch, placing his hand on Harry’s shoulders. “Honey, as much as I wish we could stay here ‘til dawn, I’m afraid we must get going.”

With his declaration, everyone moved around to gather the dishes splattered across the center table to put it all at the kitchen counter. After some insisting -mostly on Harry’s part- on helping with cleaning, you convinced them you two could handle the task just fine. And they were the guests, after all.

Finally, you said your goodbyes, pulling Evan on a small hug, assuring him you’d do your best to do his script justice.

And as you came to face Harry, he leaned into a hug, giving you a last kiss on the cheek, before telling you how lovely it had been to meet you.

**

You had woken up with your door opening abruptly, making you jump a bit from the sudden change in the peaceful atmosphere from your deep slumber. Before you could process the situation in hand, Nia was already pulling out the covers and spitting out words at a faster pace than you could comprehend in your mind state.

“Get up already! We are very late,” She urged as you lazily scratched at your eyes before sitting up to look at her. “Evan is going to kill us!” She cried out.

Your head pounded slightly, making you search for your water bottle previously prompted by yourself the night before, knowing you would need it in the morning. You reached for it in your nightstand, taking big gulps as you watched amusingly Nia run around your room picking random clothes and throwing it in a duffel bag you had just noticed.

Resting the bottle down on your lap, you yawned lightly, still in the process of waking up. “Calm down Ni,” you mumbled, “We still have time, we’re only leaving at like, two.”

She looked back at you as if you had just slapped her across the face, your shirt falling partly from her hand. “It’s already one,” she informed, making your eyes bulge as you reached to check on your phone, confirming as it read 1:16pm. “We don’t even have our bags packed AND we got a sink full of dishes to wash.”

The minutes after that were rushed, as you two did your best to get ready as fast as possible. Mentally slapping yourself for leaving everything for the last minute, but still managing to pack your bag in record speed.

But as time passed and the list of things to do was still far from over, Nia phoned Evan and let him know you would need a few more hours to be ready to leave. To say he wasn’t the happiest about the news was an understanding, but there wasn’t much he could do about it.

A couple hours later you were finally packed, and after a quick stop to shop for road trip snacks you were off on the road. 

You left much later than planned, and even if it wasn’t that much of a long drive, it was still 3 hours until you got there. The ride itself was mostly quiet, except from Lorde’s Melodrama playing softly in the background. You hummed along to the words, but apart from that there wasn’t a lot of talking between the two of you, all due to the limited amount of sleep you got from the previous night.

As you got closer, the scenery of open grass camps and blooming flowers at the peak of spring was a peaceful change of scene from the busy city streets you were used to. And when you finally got to the house, the sun was almost setting on the horizon. The sky being a satisfying mixture of blue and orange. There was a car already parked in, and as you got closer, you could see two figures sitting on the front stairs. 

Getting out of the car, you quickly made your way to where they stood. “Have you been waiting long?” Nia asked as you got closer to them. 

“Longer than I was planning to, I’ll say that,” Evan replied, taking off his sunglasses to greet you.

Harry came up from behind him, looking incredibly cozy wearing a knitted cream sweater. It took everything in you not to nuzzle on him as he met you with a quick embrace. You had to focus on keeping your breathing steady as you looked up at him when you parted. The sun coming from behind you doing wonders as it hit his face perfectly. His eyes were the prettiest shade of green as he smiled down at you before moving to greet  Nia.

“We’ve been here fo’ ten minutes, don’t listen to him,” he assured with a small laugh.

The house itself was much bigger than you expected, it wasn’t huge, by any means, but you had pictured a small cottage with barely any space for the four of you. The place, however, was big enough for you to have your privacy but still small enough to feel cozy and welcoming. 

You quickly found there were three rooms, and despite you arguing you didn’t mind sharing one with Nia, considering you two lived together, she still insisted that you and Harry had your own bedrooms. It was her way of thanking you for agreeing to help them.

After you got established in your respective room, you met everyone down at the kitchen. The place was loud with chatter as they played around while making dinner. Nia seemed to boss the boys around to cut the vegetables properly, as she concentrated on figuring out how to work the old stove. They laughed lightly as she cussed under her breath in frustration after another failed attempt. You watched quietly for a moment, before joining in to help her.

You finally turned the stove on with the help of a few matches you found laying on the counter, being able to cook with no more trouble. It was already getting late when you finished eating and gathered the dishes to lay them on the sink. Still, Nia insisted on watching one of the movies she had carefully selected on her extended collections of DvDs to bring with her. 

You decided to make yourself some tea while the rest of them moved around to arrange themselves for the movie night. After offering if anyone else wanted a cup as well, you were met with Harry’s warm smile as he accepted shyly.

Soon enough everyone settled down on the big couch to watch the movie. Evan took his place on one of the armchairs, while Harry opted to sit by the end of the couch, setting his legs on the footrest in front of him. As you walked in with your mugs, he gazed up at you, shooting a soft smile and muttering a quick ‘thank you’ as you handed him his drink.

He patted the spot next to him, indicating for you to sit, to which you happily obliged. 

“Wanna share?” he asked, holding up a blanket that lied at the arm of the couch. “There’s jus’ three of ‘em.”

“Sure,” you replied, moving to pull the blanket, so it was covering the two of you. You knew very well you could always get an extra one from one of the bedrooms, but you would never bring yourself to suggest it.

Finally, Nia entered the room with a small pack of m&m’s on one of her hands and the DvD case for ‘Love Actually’ on the other. She was quick to insert it on the player before settling down next to you. Pulling out the leftover blanket for herself, she lied down to rest her head comfortably on top of your legs.

It didn’t take long until she fell in deep slumber, cuddling up on your lap as soft snores left her lips. You pouted slightly down at her. The poor thing was exhausted from driving all the way, and the bad night of sleep the day before.

As the movie progressed, you could feel your eyelids getting heavier as well, the words coming from Keira Knightley’s mouth becoming more of a background noise as you fought to keep yourself awake. But before you could doze off, you felt Harry shifting slightly next to you. Suddenly feeling his arm hugging your shoulders, as he gently pulled you closer.

You moved your head to look at him but before you could say anything he shushed you softly and pulled you back in. “ ‘S fine, love,” he whispered, “can see that you’re tired.”

And with a half-woken mind and heavy eyelids you laid back on his shoulder and allowed yourself to snooze.

You woke up with him shifting again from under you, opening your eyes slowly to find the end credits rolling up the screen in front of you. You yawned lightly before sitting up, being careful not to wake a still-very-much-asleep Nia on your lap.

“Sorry,” you heard Harry say as you scratched at your eyes, “didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine,” you assured, your voice a bit raspy from your nap, “would have to happen, eventually.” You looked down at the unconscious girl lying on you, knowing you had to get her to bed so she could sleep properly. “We should wake her.”

“Want me to carry her to her room?” he asked.

“I think she’ll be okay,” you replied, gently calling her name so she could slowly wake up.

Surely, it didn’t take a lot of coaxing to get her eyelid to flutter open, as she lazily rose from her sleep.

You helped her to her room, afraid she’d trip down the stair in her hazy state of mind, still half asleep as she dragged her feet across the floor. 

As soon as she laid down in her bed, you made your way back to the kitchen to fix yourself a glass of water so you could go to sleep. 

It surprised you to find Harry still awake as you entered the space; he looked up at you from his position leaning on the counter with his phone in his hand. Quickly placing it in his back pocket as he saw you coming in, giving you a slight smile. “Thought you’d gone to bed.”

You reached for the cabinet Nia had pointed you to earlier where the cups were placed, picking one with little thought and closing it. “Just came here for a glass of water,” you spoke, moving the cup under the tap, “always have one next to my bed, y’know, in case I get thirsty and stuff.” You shook your head slightly, not wanting to ramble about the benefits of staying hydrated during the night just to make a conversation.

“Smart girl,” he joked, causing you to chuckle as you felt blush creeping out on your cheeks. You could see him coming closer to stand next to you from the corner of your eye, which didn’t help the tingly feeling forming at the pit of your stomach. “Excited fo’ tomorrow?” he asked, crossing his arms on top of the counter as he leaned next to you.

“Guess I am,” you answered, looking up at him and finding he was closer than you had realized. You smiled nervously as you met his eyes gazing down at you, before clearing your throat lightly. “What about you?”

“To be honest ‘m a bit nervous, love,” he confessed.

“Why’s that?” 

“I mean,” he started, his eyes still fixed on you, “ ‘s not every day I get to pretend ‘m married to a pretty girl like you.”

You could feel your heart skip a beat as he reached one of his hands to move a strand of your hair behind your ear. He kept his hand on your cheek just as his eyes seemed to gaze down at your lips, so subtly that it felt like you might’ve imagined it. 

The silence in the room was loud as you could almost hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears, as he leaned down just barely, getting closer to you. He looked down one more time at your lips, this time making sure you realized the unspoken question behind that action. You suddenly felt water pouring through your fingers, as the forgotten cup in your hand overflowed. This caused you to jump back a bit, quickly turning the tap off and resting the glass on the counter. 

“Oh my god,” you squeak, reaching out for a towel right next to the sink to dry your hand. “I’m sorry, that was-” you chuckled, glancing at Harry who seemed to watch you with an amused expression. “That was awkward, sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” He assured, picking the full glass and moving it in the counter so it was out of your reach. “ ‘t was actually quite cute,” he moved closer to you again, reaching his hand to hold at your jawline. 

You held back your breath as you felt his own hitting the top of your upper lip, your noses brushing slightly. 

“Been wanting to do this fo’ a bit now, love,” he spoke a bit above a whisper, his deep voice sending chills down your spine and making you grab at his sweater, ”would you let me?” his thumb caressed your cheek lovingly, “would you let me kiss you?”

You could feel your heart beating strongly against your rib cages, swallowing hard as you looked up at him. He was watching you closely, his dark emerald irises gazing down at you as your lips barely brushed. You nodded at him, trying to pull him closer.

“Use your words, darling,” he insisted, not budging from his position. “Wanna hear you say it.”

“Please, Harry I-” you moved your hand to grasp on his waist, “just —kiss me.”

Giving a satisfied hum, he finally leaned down, closing the space between the two of you. His hand remained stroking your cheek softly, as the other sneaked under your neck.

He moved his lips ever so slightly, his cupid bow founding its way above your inner lip, sucking on it gently. The kiss was teasingly slow, making you hyper aware of all of your senses. Your hands feeling the soft fabric of his sweater, grabbing at it as if asking for more. 

He moved the hand on your neck, pulling gently at your hair, making you angle your head up a bit. As his tongue poked to lick at your bottom lip, you opened your mouth, deepening the kiss.

You stayed like this for a while, pressed against the kitchen wall as you enjoyed the taste of each other. 

When you pulled back, he splattered a few kisses along your cheek, giving one last peck on your mouth before pulling back.

“As much as I don’t want to end this now,” he muttered, moving his hand, so they were both holding your cheeks, “We should get some sleep fo’ tomorrow.” 

“We should,” you agreed.

“We’ll get the chance to do this again,” he said, making you bite down a smile at the innuendo behind his words.

He gave you one last kiss before pulling away completely, reaching for the glass of water you had already forgotten about on the counter and handing it to you. 

You walked back to your rooms without saying a word, but still sharing glances and smiles along the way. And as you got to your respective rooms, you whispered quiet good nights before parting ways and closing the door behind you.

**

The days that followed were rushed, considering the filming had officially started. You two barely had the chance to be alone again, which was disappointing. But still you couldn’t find yourself time to miss the feel of having his soft lips against yours, considering the scenes you had with each other. What you did miss was being able to kiss him without it being written in a piece of paper, or having someone from outside tell you to. You missed the intimacy of feeling his tongue meet your own and having his hands pulling you close as you both craved for more. You missed the shared secret between just the two of you, that was knowing how it felt to have him all to yourself.

It was discomforting, earning for someone you barely even know. Jumping into a feeling you know there’s no way can end well. You both were playing characters. Lovers, yes, but it was all pretend. It didn’t help that he was so good at it. In front of the cameras he would be so loving that you often wondered how much of it was just part of the act. 

It was subtle things that made you think of it, like a glance across the room between takes. Him leaning close to you every time they called you to watch back something you had just recorded. Or when he sucked in your lip during a scene, so softly you could barely notice but still made your heart skip a beat.

But as much as it was nice to pretend that you two had some shared secret, you knew that the most likely scenario was that he was just doing his work and being friendly. So you tried your best to convince yourself that all of it was just your mind playing tricks, this way you could prevent yourself from inevitably getting hurt. That encounter in the kitchen was most likely his way of making things less awkward to when you inevitably would have to do it in front of a camera. That was it, nothing more. 

It seemed to have worked pretty well, you two had the chemistry Evan hoped for when he wrote his script. Nia kept teasing you with every given opportunity. You didn’t tell her about the late night kitchen situation, but you knew she could sense the ‘chemistry’ was not simply because you two were just that good at acting. No one was complaining though, considering everything was going so smoothly they suspected it could be wrapped up even earlier than expected.

Every time they would mention the possibility, you found yourself wishing deep down something would set you back on the schedule. You felt bad for it, and you never voice your inner thoughts, but you knew wrapping up early meant going home early, and you were getting a bit too comfortable getting to act all loved up on camera.

As if some kind of outer force had listened to your wishes, just as you were halfway throughout the week, mother nature seemed to be your biggest ally.

You had just woken up with the annoying tune of your alarm clock, one you had chosen for finding it soothing at first. But you soon found that those sounds are not meant to feel soothing at all, as it woke you from your deep slumber. You were quick to turn it off before rubbing your eyes softly and enjoying the warmth of your bed for a few more minutes. You could hear the gentle sounds of raindrops hitting your window, but barely paid any attention to it as you rose lazily, stretching your arms above your head.

Making your way down the stairs you first noticed Evan standing by the big window in the living room, looking out with a hand resting on his hip and the other one holding a mug. Behind him, in one of the armchairs, sat Harry, also drinking out of a mug as he read a book quietly. But as if he felt your presence as you got to the bottom of the staircase, he looked up, smiling at you as you made your way into the room.

“G’morning,” he spoke, alerting the man by the window of your presence as he turned around to look at you.

“Good morning,” you said back, before realizing the worried expression on Evan’s face, “is everything okay?”

“A disaster just happened, honey, look out the windows!”  he snapped, gesturing behind him where you could see the rain hitting the glass. The sky was dark with clouds, suggesting it was just the beginning of the storm that was to come. You looked back with a puzzled expression, knowing the weather was not the best, but as far as you remembered you had already shot all the scenes you needed outside. Evan rolled his eyes, “our natural light is gone, honey, it’s too dark to shoot!” he barked.

“Hey, no need to yell at her like tha’,” Harry looked back at his friend, attempting to calm him down, “ ‘s fine, we were early on schedule anyway, one day is not gonna delay it.”

He shot a look at Harry, his hand finding its way back on his waist as he let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry, this is just incredibly frustrating.”

You smiled at him to assure it was fine, knowing how much stress he was putting on because of this project. “Doesn’t Nia have one of those light things you were using the other day to make the scene brighter?” You suggested.

Evan sighed, “that’s a reflector, it just— well, reflects the light, we would need the sun for it to work, and seems like she’s not showing her face anytime soon,” he weightened his shoulders down, clearly feeling defeated. “I guess today is our off day — we should use it to pray for sunlight tomorrow, otherwise I’m pulling my hair off.”

When Nia woke up, you could tell she was not happy at all with the news that filming had to be cancelled for the time being. She spent the whole breakfast whining and crying about the poor weather. You tried your best to console her, but knowing your friend you knew her dramatics showed off when she worried about something. She tended to overthink every scenario that could go wrong, which did nothing to help the pressure she put on herself.

The day went on as eventless as it possibly could, the rain outside just seeming to get angrier as time passed by. You did your best to distract Nia from her own head, asking her about the recent documentaries she had watched, knowing she could go on tangents for hours. You talked about crime shows you have started before filming and shared different theories you had on them. You even listened to her deep analysis of trashy reality shows she loved to watch and always tried to drag you to get into it.

You talked and talked with no end, considering there wasn’t much else to do. Nia’s aunt hated computers and refused to install any kind of wifi, leaving you with a shitty connection that barely loaded a five-minute video.

As the evening came by, and the raindrops still hit angrily at the windows, you decided to watch another movie — this time it was Evan’s choice of Freaky Friday. 

You volunteered to grab the blankets from the cabinets on the second floor, while Nia excitedly announced she would make popcorn for everyone.

Quickly moving along the hallway, you made your way in front of the doors and opened them. You could hear footsteps coming up the stairs as you tiptoed to  reach the top shelf where the soft blanket you had used the first night lied on top of. 

“Need help?” You heard a voice approach, looking over your shoulder to find Harry walking towards you with an amused expression on his face. You nodded, chuckling as you quickly stepped out of the way to allow him to take your place. He reached up, easily retrieving the blanket and giving it to you.

“Thank you,” you muttered, looking up at him for a moment.

“No problem, darlin’,” he said, fetching two other blankets  before closing one door with a swing of his hip. You closed the other one with a small giggle. You started to quietly move along towards the staircase when he cleared his throat, causing you to look up at him. He kept his gaze down before speaking softly, “After the movie, think I’ll go back to my room a bit early,”  he looked at you for a moment, “ ‘f you want to join me.”

You stopped walking to look at him arching your eyebrows surprised, not expecting this kind of proposal at this moment. He stopped a step ahead of you, staring back with nervous eyes and shooting you a shy smile. “I’m not saying we have to do anything, I just-” he spluttered, “just wanted to be with you, without the camera and stuff.”

You smiled at him, “of course,” you voiced, “sounds nice.”

Shortly, you found yourself in the same position as the first day. Sharing a blanket with Harry, but this time Nia was wide awake next to you with a bucket of popcorn plopped on her lap. Some people would consider her to be the worst kind of person to watch movies with, considering she would always get too excited and comment on every scene she could. You had gotten so used to it with time, that it felt weird watching a movie without her voice interrupting a scene every five minutes.

It got hard to concentrate on this one in particular, and not because of Nia’s speaking over the lines, but the sudden feeling of Harry’s hand resting on your knee halfway through it. Your legs were crossed on top of the couch, making part of it rest slightly on top of his as he eased his thumb over your skin.

As time passed, he moved his hand up a bit, finding its final place on your inner thigh, causing goosebumps to arise on the back of your neck as he caressed it softly. You caught yourself holding your breath multiple times, something he was also probably aware of, considering the position of his arm on the side of your chest. 

The tension between you two was almost palpable as the end credits rolled up. At that point you had prompted yourself to lean your head on his shoulders. He grasped your skin slightly before removing his hand and motioning his position to get up, making you pull back from him.

“‘m going back to my room now,” he announced as he got up, shooting you a knowing look, “g’night.”

You stayed back for a few minutes so as not to look too suspicious, folding up the blanket you had used and scrolling through your phone for a bit. Not long after you excused yourself, climbing the stairs two steps at a time.

You found him in the hallway, leaning in on the wall right next to his door as he looked down on his phone. As he felt your presence he gazed up, grinning softly before bringing his finger above his lips as to warn you to stay quiet.

The two rushed inside his room, trying to be as quiet as possible, considering your friends downstairs could come up at any second. He closed the door behind him, looking right at you as he leaned back. His room was similar to yours, the difference being a few more clothes lying on top of the small couch standing at the corner. The curtains hanging on the big windows were pushed open, allowing the moonlight from the now-clear sky to illuminate the place. 

Your breath got caught in your throat as you stared back at him, meeting his dark irises. He started stepping closer to you until he could lean his forehead against yours. His hands found their way caressing your jawline, one of them going as far as to pulling lightly on the hair above your neck. You held your breath, gazing up at him as you waited for his next move.

He smiled lazily, brushing his nose against your softly before placing a peck to the corner of your lips. He was teasing you, his hand leaving your hair to find its way down your body, paying special attention to the side of your breast before placing itself holding your waist.

You swallowed dryly, feeling your heart speed up as you pulled him closer, wanting desperately to close the space between the two of you. Too scared that your voice would give out your desperation, you moved one of your hands to the back of his neck and pulled him in. He didn’t think twice before finally closing the space and allowing you to feel his lips against yours.

The kiss started slow, both of you still trying to figure it out how it was to taste each other like this. His lips were soft, moving teasingly as he sucked on your bottom lip. Your hand pulled his hair gently, causing him to whine into mouth, licking at your tongue as he deepened the kiss. The hand on your waist moved up, caressing the side of your breast softly as he tried to pull you in as close as possible.

He started easing you backwards, considering neither of you were willing to break the kiss to watch where you were going. You felt the mattress of his bed hitting the back of your knees. You allowed him to lay you into the bed, parting for a moment so you could move upwards, laying your head on the pillows. Shortly enough he joined you, placing his elbows on both sides of your head, not wasting any time before closing the space between your mouths again.

The two of you stayed like this for a while. Slowly kissing each other, as your arm found its way back behind his neck and one of his hand caressed your cheek. You could get used to this, with him being the only thing you could sense. His taste. His touch. His scent. 

He was all you could think about.

When you finally pulled back, you could see his red, puffy lips even with the limited amount of lighting going into the room. 

He looked into your eyes for a moment, “you look so pretty like this, darling,” he murmured, his voice just above a whisper, sending chills down your spine. “Could eat you up.” 

A small whimper left your mouth, as he dove back in to spread kissed along your cheek and down your throat. You bit hard into your lip and swallowed back a moan as he sucked in a spot right below your jawline. You could feel him grinding his hips down on your tights, making you aware of the growing bulge inside his sweats.

You placed your hand on his shoulders, pushing him gently and disconnecting him from your neck. He pulled back, looking back at you with a puzzled look. You kept pushing him until his shoulders hit the mattress, reverting the previous position you both were in, as you stranded his waist.

Looking down at him, you wanted so badly to discover his body, to make him feel good. So you took the same position he had on you. Placing your lips against his neck and running your tongue against it, sucking in his skin. You kept doing it as your hand smoothed down his body, finding the hem of his shirt and lifting it enough so you could scratch at his love handles. He gave you a small moan, a sound so delicious to hear you that made you want to swallow him whole. 

Both his hands found their place on your waist, pressing you down so you could feel his need between your tights. You quickly pulled your head from his neck, giving him a soft peck on the lips.

“Please, love, just-” he grunted, looking up at you with pleading eyes. “Just do something, please, I-“

His hands gripped tightly on your waist as you rolled your hips against him. Neither of you could contain your moans as you repeated the movement, even fully clothed his bulge rubbed deliciously against the place you needed it the most. 

You leaned down again, this time pushing his shirt up as you made your way down his body, splattering open-mouthed kisses along his warm chest. You paid a special mind to the tattoos you met along the way, sucking spots over the wings of a butterfly inked on his stomach. As you licked along the leaves of the ferns that adorned his love handles, you felt one of his hands tangling in your hair, his hips rising slightly as he whimpered.

“A bit impatient, you are,” you spoke, feeling his belly tighten as you placed a playful bite under his belly button, causing another moan to leave his lips.

“Darlin’, please,” he whined, “Just- fuck, just need you right now.”

You decided not to tease him for too long, considering you needed it just as much as he did. Finally, you moved down once more to place a kiss above the hard on over his pants. He lifted his head, watching your every move as his hand that was placed on your hair pushed some strands away from your forehead. You wrapped your hand around the hem of his sweats, rising your eyebrows at him as you felt he wasn’t wearing any underpants. The thought of having such easy access to him making you press your thighs together, feeling your wetness already damping your underwear 

Slowly, you bit your bottom lip, keeping your gaze focused on him as you moved his sweats down, he raised his hips as to help you out. Once his cock was fully out, you stared back down at it lying proudly against his stomach. You ran your fingers gently along his length, causing him to hold his breath, his abdomen tightening once more. He was definitely bigger than anyone you had ever been with, causing your mouth to water a bit and your thighs to press together once again at the thought of fully having him.

You could feel him peering down at you as you wrapped your hands around the base and applied the smallest amount of pressure. The precum was already escaping from the tip and sliding down the tiniest bit. 

Moving your head forward you looked back at his waiting eyes, spitting on top of the head as you moved your hand up caressing it. This time he gave you an actual moan, throwing his head back at the pillows behind him. 

Looking down at him, you didn’t know where to place your lips first, wanting to bite and lick every part of his body. Finally deciding on sucking a spot on his thigh, right next to where rested an ink of a tiger head.

You kept the movement of your hand, twisting it and applying more pressure eventually as you watched him shift around under you. He raised his hips slightly as he pleaded under his breath for more, his hand firmly on top of your head as the other was thrown above his own.

You moved your thumb to run across his slit, caressing the head with a flick of your wrist as you moved your mouth to place kisses at the base. At this point he became a moaning mess, throwing his arm over his mouth as to muffle the sounds while you licked up his shaft.

“God- fuck- such a good girl,” he moaned on his arm, moving it out of the way so he could look down at you. “Doing so good, you feel so good- shit.”

Smiling at him, you jerked him off a couple of times before resting your hand at the base so you could replace it with your mouth.

You licked around his head, giving it a small kiss before you moved down as far as you could go. He cried out, tightening his grip on your hair and moving his hips up to meet your movements as you sucked on him.

He was desperate to reach his climax, and you were desperate to see him cum undone under your touch. So you started speeding up, your mouth licking at his veins, your hand helping you as you moved it along his dick. He was cursing and moaning over you, pleading for you not to stop. You kept moving your hand as you licked at his head once more before detaching so you could look up at him with pleading eyes.

“Almost there?” you asked, having him nod frantically at you, “will you let me have a taste?”

That seemed to do it for him, as he pushed your head back down, making you attach your lips to his head as you felt him shoot his load inside your mouth. You milked him as he came down from his high, feeling his softness on your lips as you swallowed down.

You sat up and looked down at his hazy eyes while he calmed down with heavy breaths. He adjusted his sweats quickly before moving himself up to pull you in for a frantic kiss. “God, darling, you’re a dream,” he spoke between kisses, his hands gripping at your waist as he positioned you to lie on top of him, moving one of them under your shirt, pulling it up slowly.

You quickly placed your hand on top of his stopping him from going further as you detached from him. He furrowed his brows at you. “I should go back to my room,” you said, “got an early day tomorrow.”

He gave you a puzzled look, “but you still haven’t- “

“it’s okay,” you interrupted, moving to get up from his bed, suddenly feeling nervous under his gaze, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Good night!”

You left his room before he could protest, wanting to slap yourself from running away like this. 

**

The next morning was thankfully much brighter than the one before, with sunlight shining through the windows at the earliest hours. You didn’t get a lot of sleep, tossing and turning around, replaying the previous night in your head. The thought of what could’ve happened if you had stayed imprinted itself in your mind. You started to overthink it. What did he even think of you? After running away like that? 

Your thoughts consumed you as you sat in of the stools in the kitchen by yourself, for the first time being the first to be awake. Your coffee running cold by the minute, as you frowned to yourself, taking a sip every so often.

It didn’t take long until you didn’t find yourself alone anymore, having Evan join you as he happily cheered about the nice weather. You nodded along to him, not really in the mood for talking as you anxiously poked at your nails.

It was when you walked towards the sink to wash your used mug that you saw Harry walking into the kitchen. His hair messy and his eyes sleepy, making you annoyed at how charming he managed to look even after just getting out of bed. 

He greeted you with a raspiness to his voice, his eyes lingering on you a moment too long as he smirked before moving to the cabinets. He stood next to you while you washed the dishes, grabbing himself a bowl while he worked on his breakfast.

Yours arms would brush every so often as you moved while doing your tasks, making you gaze at him. He kept a grin sitting on his face as he casually made a conversation with Evan, his dimple poking out the smallest bit, but still not looking back at you.

As soon as you were finished you left for your bedroom so you could get ready for the day, but not before sparing one last glance at Harry. This time his eyes were already trained on you as he chewed slowly his fruit salad. You felt your cheeks getting a bit warm from the eye contact, making you look down and leave the room with a speeding heart.

The work started early, as you ran around to keep up with the schedule after losing one day of productivity. 

Harry seemed to be in it for teasing you. His touches lingered longer than needed. His kisses were harsher, the need behind them being almost palpable. His gaze on you told you something you couldn’t really tell exactly what it was. Lust? Desire? You weren’t entirely sure, but every time you caught him watching you felt a warmth take over your face.

In one occasion, between takes, as Nia and Evan discussed the best position for the camera considering her broken tripod. You stood awkwardly waiting for their instructions as you played with the hem of your dress. You could feel him staring closely, looking up to find him with the same smirk he gave you in the morning. He looked quickly over your friends who were still trying to figure out the problem before leaning up close to you “Still haven’t let me have a taste, love,” he said quiet enough to that just you could hear, the words sending a chill down your spine and making your core twitch as you glanced back at him.

That same night, after you announced you’d tuck yourself in, just as you changed into your pajama shorts, you heard a soft knock on your door.  You opened up to see his darkened irises staring back at you as he quietly let himself in. And within a few minutes he found his place between your legs, your hand gripping tightly at his curls as you moaned into your pillow.

The  following day wasn’t much different, starting with a tight filming schedule that was coming to a close end. An exchanging of glances across the room and yearning touches with underlying motives behind them. Ending with you lurking into his room at the dark hours of the night, craving-filled touched and muffled moans.

**

The wrap up of the film was welcomed with a bittersweet feeling settling itself in the pit of your stomach. Knowing as much as you were glad everything had gone as smoothly as possible during this week, it was time to leave it all behind. 

You were nervous about how it would be with Harry after you got home. Was this the start of something that could potentially become a warm and beautiful feeling? Or was it just a lust-filled affair that would end as quickly as it had started? It made you anxious to think about it, not wanting to let go of it just yet.

Nia walked into the living room with two champagne bottles that had been brought up for this exact moment. The atmosphere was filled with chatter as everyone celebrated the end of the hard work. 

You were dressed in the fanciest clothes you had brought on your rushed-packed bag, which consisted itself in a black blouse and a loose pair of pants you stole from Nia’s wardrobe a couple weeks prior. But you once again could not compete with Evan’s sense of style, as he seemed right out of a cover with a hot pink turtleneck under a sparkly black dress that hung all the way to his feet.

But you still couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.

You watched as he laughed along at something that had been said, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before fixing on Nia as she offered to serve him the champagne she had just opened. 

He looked so good. 

Like you, he didn’t opt for a very glam look, wearing a simple graphic white tee with a rainbow printed on it, and a simple pair of checked trousers. But as plain as someone could argue it was, he still managed to look incredibly inviting, which made it harder for you not to latch yourself onto him.

You were coming into your sixth or seventh glass when it all died down. Your head was fuzzy, and you felt giggly as you cheered along with everyone about the successful week you had. Nia had already gone back to her room. She didn’t  drink as much considering she would have to drive early in the morning, wanting to leave most of the celebration for the premiere day. 

The glances stolen between you and Harry were getting more frequent, the longing in each other's eyes visible with the effect of the alcohol.

**

He had you pressed up against your bedroom door as he sucked in your bottom lip harshly. His hands gripped at your waist tightly, putting his weight against you.

You wrapped your hand around his neck as the other pulled at his shirt desperately with the need of having him close. You felt overwhelmed by him in the nicest way. Having his hips pressing against your own, making you open your tights slightly as you felt his arousal straining on his trousers.

You whimpered into his mouth at the feeling, suddenly needing him as close as possible. You could tell his desperation matched your own by the way his hand pressed on the side of your body and his mouth moved against you. His groans getting lost in your throat every time you tangled your fingers on his roots, pulling at it.

“You’re gonna kill me like this, baby,” he breathed out, his lips moving against your wanting ones, “so fuckin’beautiful.”

You tried to keep your shaky hands steady as they travelled down his chest, scratching as his tummy lightly under his shirt before you began pulling it up. He detached from you to quickly reach over his shoulders and pull it off completely.  He didn’t waste any time bringing his hand to unbutton your blouse, peppering kisses along your lips as he moved it down your shoulders, only to be met with your bare breasts underneath.

“Fuck me,” he groaned staring down at you, attaching your lips once again as he pulled you from the door as he fiddled with the zipper of your pants. You stumbled on each other's arms across the floor until you were met with the plush feeling of the bedcovers on the back of your thighs. 

You stepped out of your pants as they got loose around your waist and fell damply to the floor, allowing Harry to push you gently into the mattress. He quickly got rid of his own trousers, wasting no time before towering above you, connecting your mouths once again.

It was like no matter how close you were, it still wasn’t good enough to satisfy the craving you had. You still wanted more. Needed more. 

He was fully licking into you, his hands gripping your tights as he rolled his hips to meet yours. You moaned in unison at the feeling of your arousals meeting deliciously as he repeated the movement once more before parting your mouths so he could spread kisses along your neck.

“Harry,” you breathed out his name, dragging your nails along his back as you moved your hips up eagerly.

He moved his head from your neck o hover above yours, licking his lips teasingly as he looked down at you with dark eyes. He moved one of his hands to caress your cheek lovingly, as the other found your breast, his thumb grazing over your nipple. “Can I have a taste, baby?” he leaned his forehead against your, not breaking eye contact, “just a fo’a bit, then you can have me.”

You nodded frantically, brushing your nose against his. He gave you one last peck on the lips before moving down again to lick down at your skin. He pressed open-mouthed kisses at your chest, sucking harshly between your breasts.  His tongue moved along your belly, craving his finger into it playfully like you had done to him, making you squeal above him.

He finally settled down between your thighs, his hand gripping at them to keep it apart before moving teasingly slow to the hem of your underwear. Your breath got caught in your throat as you moved up to lean on your elbows, gazing at him, hyper-aware of his every move. 

He looked up, grinning like a devil, before moving his face down to nose gently at your mound. Pulling away, he pressed his hands on your sides, sliding your underwear off your legs as you helped him, raising your hips slightly.

You whimpered as you felt him kiss along your inner thigh, meeting your middle as licked you once. Your hips raised impatiently, making him smirk at you again before completely diving in.

You got lost in the pleasure as he licked his tongue into you, letting yourself fall back in the cushions behind your head. Your hand moved to grip at his hair tightly as he sucked in your clit, making you yelp and call out his name. His mouth was warm as his saliva mixed with your own wetness every time he licked into you.

Feeling your arousal pooling on your folds, you desperately needed to feel him as close as possible. Wanting every inch of him against you.

You pushed him from you, grabbing at his shoulder so he could move up to face you again. He didn’t protest, spattering quick kisses along the way before pressing his mouth against yours. The taste of champagne still lingering on your tongue mixed with your own taste on his as he licked into your mouth.

“y’taste so good, baby,” he groaned, parting from you as he moved to remove his briefs. The limited amount of light illuminated his face beautifully, making you able to notice the glistening of your juices down his chin. You felt your core twitch at the scene above you, desperate to have him fill you up.

“Please,” you urged him, grabbing at his hips to pull him down.

“Can I have you, darlin’?” His voice was raspy, as he looks down at you with hooded eyes, “‘d you let me?”

Your arousal blurred your mind, your grip on his waist tightened as you raised your hips impatiently, nodding along to his question.

“Have to hear you say it, love,” he spoke, leaning down to place kisses along your neck, “just say it, and you’ll have me.”

“You can have me, please, I-” you moaned desperately, babbling words without thinking, “I need you, please.”

He raised his head from your shoulders, giving you a quick peck before reaching down to guide his length between your folds. Your belly tensed as he rubbed his head against your clit, holding back your breath as he finally slid in you.

“Fuck, you’re wet,” he choked, pushing his hips all the way, allowing you to feel every inch of him fill you up. You breathed out a moan, reaching your hand on his back. “‘s this all fo’ me?”

You whined out a ‘yes’, rolling your hips as a way of urging him to move. 

His movements began slow, his cock rubbing heavenly against your walls, making you clench around him. You both moaned and whimpered as your lips brushed.

“Can feel me deep?” He asked, resting his forehead against yours as he pushed his dick all the way in. You nodded, yearning for him to start moving again. “Can feel me in y’belly?”

“H, please,” you begged, gripping your nails on his shoulder blades.”Want you.”

“y’have me,” he kissed you hard before moving again, rolling his hips as he picked up the pace.

 The air around you was hot as you threw your head back with the delicious feeling of him hitting the spot inside of you. He was addicting. The salty taste of his skin. The touch of his hands gripping on your sides. The smell of his cologne faintly mixed with sweat. The sound of his skin meeting yours. It made you earn for him in every possible way. 

You felt your wetness dripping out of you as he pulled your leg up to your chest, allowing him to effectively hit deeper spots. The new position made a cramp start to creep up on your thight, but you ignored it to focus on the way his hips met yours.

Time seemed to pass like a blur as you pleasured each other, but soon enough you felt your orgasm building up. His thrusts became more frequent and smooth as he felt you clench more around him.

“that’s it, baby - fuck,” he grunted, moving his hand down to flicker your clit, causing to arch your back, moaning loudly. “Wanna feel you come for me.”

His cross necklace dangled over you as he watched you closely. You kept your gaze locked on his as you felt the feeling deep in your tummy take over your entire body. A moan got stuck in your throat as you opened your mouth to an ‘O’ shape, digging your nails further on his shoulders as you reached your high.

**

Getting home, you soon realized that throughout the week you had been so lost in your feelings with Harry that you didn’t even think of asking him for his phone number. 

The month that followed passed by surprisingly quickly. During the first week you were swiftly thrown back again into your old reality of course essays and textbooks. You hadn’t heard a word from Harry, and the most frustrating part is that he seemed to have settled his place inside your thoughts. You tried asking about him to Nia once or twice again, but every time she seemed to come up with vague answers and change the subject, so you figured she had other things to worry about. 

It was a disappointing end, to say the least. Even knowing from the start that being let down was the most possible outcome, it didn’t hurt any less. You often wondered if it had been something you’d done that made him pull away, or if he just wasn’t in it from the start.

By the second week you had gotten a job at a tiny local cafe you used to go after class to study and eat cinnamon rolls. That’s when time starting to rush by, as you found yourself busy through most of your day. Nia was working more than you’ve ever seen her. You two barely talked as she spent most of her time with Evan or inside her room editing. And as the week at the camp house got further away, it started to almost seem like you had imagined all of it. 

Having a lot of distractions helped, but you never seemed to push the thought of a certain curly-haired boy completely away. Sometimes during a tedious lesson you would daydream about the feeling of his lips against yours. Or right before you fell asleep you would think about the taste of his skin, how strong his hand were gripping on your thighs. Maybe even at work. When there wasn’t a lot of movement, you could almost hear the sound of his voice.

It was aggravating, the effect he left on you. It got to a point where you got angry; sometimes at him but sometimes at yourself. He was the one who had gone after you, and yet he was the one who disappeared. But again, he didn’t really owe you anything, and that’s what’s frustrating. You were the one who allowed him; you knew from the start that you would get hurt but you still went for it, anyway.

As you got closer to the premiere night that was planned, you started to get anxious. You would catch yourself daydreaming more often, not being as focused as you were. You even started picking your nails again, which is a habit you thought you’d kick it a long time ago. But truth to be told, you were nervous.

The thought about seeing him again made your heart race. You wished that you could somehow find a way not to go. Maybe ask Nia if the two of you could have a private viewing. You had even thought about bribing her with making your mom’s brownie recipe. But you already knew the answer before you even suggested it. This was an important night for her, and you would be there to support it.

You were overthinking this. Was it going to be awkward when you met him? How would you even greet him? Would he kiss you? Would he ignore you? Should you ignore him? All the scenarios in your head made you want to throw up and run away.

**

When the two of you finally arrived, you were greeted by a cheerful Evan, who jokingly teased you for being late. As you got into his house, you found a bigger group than you expected. It seemed like you and Nia were the last ones to arrive, as there was around ten other people in there. Some of them you recognized from being Nia’s friends, others you had never seen, but none was the one you earned to see the most.

Evan guided you across the living room area, “I’ll show you the kitchen so you two can get some drinks,”  He held up his glass as he spoke. Gesturing to the entrance of the room, “We’ll start everything in around ten minutes, so get ready.”

As you entered the kitchen behind Nia, you could feel her stiffen her posture a bit, before looking back at you. You frowned lightly at her, confused by her behaviour, gazing inside the room and finding immediately a pair of green eyes already watching you. It made you think back to the first time you were in this exact position, except in your own kitchen. This time, however, he was the one to approach you.

He looked really good, which did nothing to help the butterflies flying relentlessly in your stomach. He was in all black, a buttoned up shirt with a few buttons open, exposing a bit of the skin on his chest where a silver necklace laid upon. You swallowed dryly at the sight of his hand running swiftly through his hair, with a ring hugging each one of his fingers. 

As he got close, he greeted Nia first, giving her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, before turning his attention back to you. He shot you a shy smile, before embracing you into a hug. You didn’t really know if it was your mind playing tricks but you felt him a bit hesitant as he greeted you and placed a kiss on your cheek. Pulling away, he cleared his throat, running his hand again through his hair, he almost seemed… nervous?

“‘S nice seeing you again,” he mumbled, “this uhm… ‘s my girlfriend, Jess.”

You could felt your heart drop with his words as you finally noticed a smiley girl coming to his side. 

She wasn’t much taller than you, her red hair pulled back in a perfect ponytail. She matched him with a small black dress that annoyingly hugged her body in all the right ways. You could barely register her greeting you, as you tried your best to keep a straight face to hide the shock that took over your body. You felt a heaviness at the pit of your stomach, a feeling so distressful that made you want to scream as an attempt to make it go away.

You didn’t pay a lot of attention as Nia made a conversation with the girl, knowing that’s what she did best. You kept your gaze directed to Harry, your eyes asking a million questions - you didn’t even think you wanted to know the answers to. But he kept his eyes locked on the floor, eventually looking up at the girl in his arms as she seemed to mention him. But never meeting your own.  Her hand was caressing his chest lovingly while his found their way on her waist, keeping her close.

“I think I’ll get something to drink,” you announced, realizing you might’ve interrupted the conversation as they stopped talking. You turned to Nia, “do you want something?”

She looked back at you with sorry eyes, “I should go with you,” she quickly turned back to the girl, “It was lovely meeting you, Jess.”

“Oh! Sure,” she smiled brightly at you two, her hand moving to rest on Harry’s chest, “we should go get our seats as well, right, babe?” 

You left the scene as quickly as you could, not wanting to hear any more of it. Looking at all the drink options on top of the counter, you tried to think which one could get you drunk enough to stop feeling hurt over someone you spent just a week with, but still sober enough so that you could pretend everything was fine. Before you realized, Nia was standing next to you, getting two plastic pink cups before she stared at you with guilty-filled eyes.

“I should’ve just told you about it,” she sighed, “I didn’t want to make you sad, but looking back it was probably best if you already knew.”

You turned your head to look at her, “so you knew it all along?” You swallowed the lump in your throat as you felt it close once again.

“Evan told me like a few days after we got back!” She rushed, “I don’t know if they were together while we were filming.”

You took a deep breath, knowing Nia was probably blaming herself for putting you into this situation. But you knew it wasn’t her fault, she would never purposely put you in this position if she knew about it before.

“You know what, it’s fine,” you tried your best to cover up the hurt and gave her a weak smile, “it’s not your fault Ni. It’s okay. I’m fine.”

She pulled you into a tight hug, “I’m sorry, bubba,” she said, “let’s get you something to drink so you can enjoy this party like the star you are!”

The two of you decided on the vodka mixed with watermelon juice, something you had never even thought of trying before but seemed to be ideal to handle the situation you found yourself in. You walked back to the living area, where people were already beginning to settle on the chairs. 

Following Nia, you prompted yourself on a seat at the edge closest to the door, opposite to where Harry sat with the girl. His girl. You thought bitterly, taking a big sip from your cup and cringing at the strong taste.

There was a speech you didn’t pay much attention to before they started the film, only giving a slight smile when you realized the mention of your name. 

Before you knew it, the lights were out and your face took over the screen. 

It was harder than you thought it would be.  Looking up at the scenes you had with Harry, knowing everything that happened behind the cameras. Knowing every touch and every kiss felt more than just playing a character. You knew the actual feeling of having him to yourself. But now staring at it right in front of you, it just left a sour taste in your mouth. 

You finished your drink barely ten minutes into the film, the feeling of your chest aching starting to become overwhelming as you watched your shared kiss on the big screen. You could feel your throat close once more, your eyes watering a bit.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you whispered to Nia sitting next to you, who gave you a sympathetic smile as you got up. You glimpsed quickly to Harry who had his eyes trained on you, the girl next to him leaning to whisper something in his ear.

You could feel the tears falling down stubbornly as you left the room. Standing in the hallway, you made the decision to turn to the front door instead of the back, not wanting to face anyone with reddish eyes.

You left the house, picking your phone with shaky hands as you managed to call a ride home, sighing in relief as your screen told you it was just about three minutes away.

You heard the door open behind you as stood on the sidewalk hugging yourself to get some warmth on the chilly night. You tried your best to swallow back your tears as you turned around, expecting to find Nia looking at you with pitiful eyes. 

To your surprise, the person standing there was Harry, looking like a deer caught in the headlights as he took in your tearful eyes. He spoke your name in a soft voice, causing you to look away.

“Don’t-” you interrupted, raising your hand at him, “I don’t wanna hear it.”

He frowned at you, not wanting to upset you more. “I’m sorry,” he hesitated, taking a step forward.

Your phone buzzed in your hand, as you watched your ride pulling in front of you. You looked back at him, “I’m sorry too,” you said before moving to enter the car. 

You spared him one last glance through the window as the driver pulled away.

[philippmichelreichold]

On Death and Designation in Neal Asher's Transformation Trilogy

μῆνιν ἄειδε θεὰ Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος --Iliad

Gordon Dickson's Soldier Ask Not is set in a different sort of milieu than the Polity. In it civilization has splintered along personality types. the three main Splinter cultures consist of the Friendlies, people of faith, the Dorsai , warriors, and the Exotics, philosophers. The viewpoint character, Tam Olyn, a man of Old Earth, is a vengeful manipulator straight out of ancient Greece. Tam asks some Friendly soldiers if they think they will lose the current conflict on which Tam is ostensibly reporting. They respond overwhelmingly in the negative. For them the conflict will end in victory or death, and "what is death?"

One might well ask "what is death?" in the Polity universe, where we have recordings of people's memories and personalities that can be restored in machine or living body form. What then is Penny Royal's crime exactly? Like Tam Olyn, Theovald Spear begins his story obsessed with seeking revenge for needless, unjust deaths during wartime. Like Odysseus, Άνθρωπος πoλυτροπος, both are much traveled on journeys of many turnings. Both, filled with wrath, seek to avenge the wrongly dead. At the end of both their stories/journeys come revelation, the truth, and freedom.

Of those seeking revenge against Penny Royal, Spear is least changed by the experience. Physically, he has gone largely unchanged. The mental and emotional changes are subtle. One change is his obsession with confronting Penny Royal. Another is a feeling that he is "pursuing a set destiny". According to google translate, "Thor vald" means "Thor selected" or "Thor's power", and Thorvald is selected by Penny Royal to represent those slain at Panarchia. Spear has received not only his own memories but the memories of others among Penny Royal's victims. He thus has a unique perspective of events on Panarchia. Like Tam he has the power of objectivity. Thus he has been given the power to forgive or judge/execute Penny Royal. A spear set to be Its chosen instrument.

Two other of Penny Royal's victims were self-selected, Isobel Satomi and Sverl. Satomi, whose name means "beauty" in Japanese, is/was a beautiful woman on the outside and a hideous monster on the inside. Through the miracle (Elizabeth can be translated "My God is abundance") of Penny Royal's nanotech, the ugly shines straight on through. Later, with the monster separated out, what remains is a memstore echo of the person that was. She is left to contemplate her beauty that was lost. One is left to wonder if there would be any value/point/benefit to restoring her further. There may not be much to restore.“There is nothing left for me,” she replied. “I just want to go away now."

Satomi lacks character or depth-- she is unable to look more deeply than her immediate urgings. Like the war machine she was transformed into physically, she locks onto a goal and moves to achieve it, no time to think of consequences. She sees that Mr. Pace has become invincible a la Penny Royal and desires similar invincibility. When Trent Sobel expressed doubt that Mr Pace is happy with his transformation, she could not grasp the possibility that Mr Pace has made a Shaitan's bargain. Once separated from the war machine and preserved in crystal, she cannot let go of her anger at Penny Royal for the transformation he gave her. She desires restoration to her pre Penny Royal state, but not redemption.His next Prador instinct was to find some way to punish them, but then he decided he was better ttan that.

Sverl's transformation is in the opposite direction from Satomi's. He goes from being a monster obsessed to ein Mensch. He was was obsessed with hating/killing humans, with his displeasure with the outcome of the war and the king that so ended it, with understanding how/why the war was lost, and finally, he was obsessed with Penny Royal. He is the most transformed and the most beneficially transformed of Penny Royal's revenge seekers. Sverl spent a hundred years studying the human condition and developed a great understanding thereof. He became a very unpradorish Prador- an intellectual. He developed hobbies and worked on science projects in his spare time. He gained not only the understanding of what he sought but a greater understanding of all things. He has left the war in the past and with it any resentment of Riss for infecting him with parasites. He has outgrown hate and the need for vengeance and has replaced it with an intellectual life and a pragmatism that opens new vistas to him. One might hope the Prador king can forgive the inconvenience of his survival and see him as an exemplar for Prador in the future."And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?" --Genesis 4:6

Apart from the Penny Royal experience, Spear and Sverl have common ground. Both are intellectual and gifted with enquiring minds. Both have that rarest of gifts, extreme competence. They contrast with the villains of the piece, Cvorn and Brockle, whose minds are set and whose competence is inadequate.But, either way, Sverl was dead, and all Cvorn’s plans in ruins.

Despite availing himself of some Polity tech, Dragoncorp augs, Cvorn remains very much as he and Sverl were at the end of the war. Despite/because of the steadfastness of his personality and attitudes, he sets about rejuvenating himself physically and sexually. This rejuvenation inflates his arrogance and impairs his judgment, and provides Sfolk with the manner of his undoing.. Unchanged is his hatred for the Polity, the soft humans and the AI's alike. He very much resents losing the war.. He has this in common with Satomi-- a longing for vengeance. More than this, he wants to restart the war. He has no particular dislike for Penny Royal, beyond his hatred of Polity AI's, but Sverl is both an enemy and a means to an end. He would reveal the abomination that is Sverl, thereby inflaming passions throughout the Kingdom and re-igniting the war. Caught up in his feelings/anger/hatred, he never considers the surety of the disastrous outcome another Polity-Prador war would have for the Kingdom."For blood with blood shall, while I sit as judge, / Be satisfied, and the law discharg’d” The Spanish Tragedy III.vi.35–36.

Neither Cvorn nor Brockle is one of Penny Royal's victims. The most important commonality between Penny Royal and Brockle is insanity in the form of homicidal mania. It is a matter of degree. Whereas Penny Royal has a part that is insane, Brockle's insanity is all pervasive. Penny royal subdues and harnesses his insanity. In Brockle insanity gains full rein/reign. He is unstable, and his insanity escalates so that his self justification for his crimes is ever changing and his obsession with Penny Royal ever growing. He began as a sadistic cop who took more pleasure in hurting people than the job required. Not quite breaking the law sufficiently to merit/suffer execution, he is paroled to the prison hulk Tyburn. (Tyburn was a place of execution in Middlesex).

He shares with Penny Royal the abilities to manipulate matter with nanotech-- disassembling/reassembling people and things, and he can separate his parts-- shoaling and adding more sub units as needs arise. As his abilities grow, so grows his need to end Penny Royal and so increases his megalomania. The obsession leads him to not only commit actual crimes punishable by the ending of him but also to see himself as supplanting(?) Penny Royal. He begins by wishing to end an evil threat the Polity AI's are unable to recognize and ends by seeking to destroy Penny Royal and take his place in Layden's Sink. Confusingly, he will either cause a time paradox that would destroy the Polity and the Kingdom but that's O.K. or it is he that enters the sink to begin with, and not Penny Royal, so all the better. (I hate temporal mechanics.)If you boil the water surrounding a prador, it won’t even realize it is dying. Brockle ate itself for a thousand years..

Both these villains, Cvorn and Brockle, are profoundly arrogant and supremely overconfident. Like Satomi, they are locked-in and incapable of meaningful change/growth.If they would just get on with their lives and let Sverl on the one hand and Penny Royal on the othergo, they could be so much better off. Each is too obsessed to see objectively where their best interests lie. Each comes to a bad end because of it.

References[edit]

On Death and Designation in Neal Asher's Transformation Trilogy. Philipp Michel Reichold. MAR 16TH, 2017.

Soldier, Ask Not. Gordon R Dickson.

Transformation series. Neal Asher.

Dark Intelligence (2015)[6] ISBN 9780330524551War Factory (2016) ISBN 9780330524612Infinity Engine (2017) ISBN 9780330524636

All of my article content should be regarded as attribution required. A link to my content is sufficient.